Reader “JMB” correctly worked out that all you have to do to “get on” UKR is put “SEGA” into eBay then click through the pages long enough until something from before 1998 comes up. Here’s what came up for JMB.

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It’s a Sonic Mountain Quest Cheap Plastic Christmas Present!

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Buy it, put it in the loft. Then your grandchildren can callously bin it when they’re clearing out the house to sell a mere 12 hours after you’ve died.

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Or just don’t buy it. Spend the money on something useful, like a nice bit of beef for Sunday.

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By “nice bit of beef” we mean some meat for dinner, not a cheap prostitute.

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“It has not been used as it has only been stored by a collector, not a child!” says the eBay listing. We already knew that.

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Only a collector would know the value and importance of supplying a photograph of the almost entirely featureless rear of the machine.

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That looks like 1982. Surely Sonic The Hedgehog wasn’t invented by Tomy in 1982 and then subsequently licensed by SEGA in 1989?

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It’s OK. Any good collector knows that we’ll be needing a close-up of the game description text.

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There you go.

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It was on eBay along with some pinball thing. The listing has finished, which is probably for the best. We all have way too much of this kind of shit already.