EXCLUSIVE: THE 100 GREATEST GAMES OF ALL TIME
Compiled by a man called Dolan.
“News just in: people are still IDIOTS. Don’t know if you’ve seen GAME’s Greatest Games of All Time list (chosen by the proles for the proles) but in a total not-shocking turn of events it’s predicatbly moronic with Call of Duty 4 coming out in the top spot and GTAIV hitting the number four spot, games most people would have barely spent seconds playing before voting for them. The rest of the list is mostly made up of shit people only vote for because they’re repeatedly told by others that the games are amazing.
“In response to this depressingly retarded turn of events I’ve put the list through a RIGOROUS and SCIENTIFIC process whereby I’ve removed every game that has only been out for 18 months, every game which only made it onto the list because it has already appeared on every single other “100 Greatest Games Ever” list (Mario, Zelda, Final Fantasy, etc) and every football game (immediate disqualification on grounds of not really being videogames) as well as every game only played by rabid PC nerds who only ever play one game (Warcraft, Command and Conquer, Counter Strike, etc). The remaining games are, therefore UNDENIABLY the hundred greatest games of all time.
“The resulting list reads as follows:
1-20 Sonic The Hedgehog (SEGA Mega Drive)
21-40 Elite (BBC Micro)
41-60 Shenmue (SEGA Dreamcast)
61-80 Sonic The Hedgehog 2 (SEGA Mega Drive)
81-100 TimeSplitters 2 (Multiformat)“Can’t argue with the science – Dolan.”
Thanks, Dolan.
filed in Uncategorized on Jun.23, 2008
June 23rd, 2008 on 1:07 pm
TimeSplitters2 my arse.
June 23rd, 2008 on 1:13 pm
Pretty funny that the ‘million reward points’ winner voted for Killzone. They surely picked him for comedy value?
June 23rd, 2008 on 1:47 pm
At number 81, Super Smash Bros Brawl ???!!! This game isn’t out in Europe yet….what a bunch of TWATS !! and where the fuck is Rez !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sort it out GAME !! you bunch of Tools !
June 23rd, 2008 on 2:02 pm
YES! Timesplitters 2! YES!
June 23rd, 2008 on 2:27 pm
wii fit…
i hate humans
June 23rd, 2008 on 2:51 pm
GT5: Prologue is in there!
IT’S A FUCKING DEMO YOU CRETINS.
Christ, this really is a shambolic list. Never EVER trust the public.
June 23rd, 2008 on 3:32 pm
Crikey. I had this one mentally tagged as a “0 Comments”.
June 23rd, 2008 on 3:48 pm
Completing Stage 2 of the Starlight Zone in Sonic should have been the minimum entry requirement.
Although I guess if you’re 8 years old and your only experience of gaming has been GTA4 then what you gonna do?
June 23rd, 2008 on 5:13 pm
‘I guess if you’re 8 years old and your only experience of gaming has been GTA4 then what you gonna do?’
Go out carjacking due to the horrendous lack of youth clubs in inner-cities?
June 23rd, 2008 on 5:38 pm
Final Fantasy VII should not be near the top of any list.
June 23rd, 2008 on 7:20 pm
Pile of effing shite!
What about:
Glider Rider ( Amstrad CPC )
Sonic ( MD )
SS Lucifer ( MD )
Elite ( CPC )
Paperboy ( Arcade )
Point Blank 1-3 ( PS One with Lightgun )
June 23rd, 2008 on 7:24 pm
This poll is a sham, and a fraud, and a.. sham!
June 23rd, 2008 on 7:58 pm
Not even clicking this as I know I’d just rage a lot.
Also what, Sonic 2 but no Sonic CD above it? People have no taste. I hope at least Super Mario World gets a place in the top 5.
June 23rd, 2008 on 8:03 pm
Nah, Super Mario World is at #20, with “classics” like Mario Kart Wii in front of it… I could rant about the injustices in that list for hours.
June 23rd, 2008 on 9:06 pm
What members of the public did they ask exactly? A bunch of special needs kids on work experience? Not that 100 greatest games list aren’t the most redundant things in the world ever anyway.
June 23rd, 2008 on 9:34 pm
Tomb Raider is listed as a PSone game, when actually it was multiformat (and released first on the Saturn). And it’s not ‘PSone’, it’s ‘PS’.
June 23rd, 2008 on 11:01 pm
The list is awful, that much is obvious to anyone who’s been playing videogames for longer than 6 months. If there’s a highlight, it’s the bizarre inclusion of Championship Manager 01/02, in at number #74. What was so special about that particular edition?
June 24th, 2008 on 12:23 am
I’ve seen some pretty shitty lists, but this has to be the shittiest. CALL OF DUTY 4?!! I find it hard to believe that even the redundant youth of today have voted that #1. Maybe the prerequisite for entrance was that you had to be between the ages of 6 and 12.
What calls this list into question is that some old classics were voted in there by the same people who voted COD4, GTAIV, Halo 3 and Gears of War into the top 10! (I love H3 and Gears, but they’re not top 10 material).
Also, I do find it ironic how a list of the greatest games of all time does not actually include the greatest game of all time: Panzer Dragoon Saga.
I’d boycot Game in protest if 1) I cared that much 2) I shopped there anyway.
June 24th, 2008 on 2:19 am
Meh, comes as no surprise. I shop at Gamestation, simply because of touches like when I went to buy Ace Combat 6, the sales guy commented on how that isn’t my sort of game. Feels nice to be remembered! A mate works there too, who I haven’t seen regularly since school. Little things that count.
Did any of the Need For Speed games after its urban shittening appear?
June 24th, 2008 on 8:44 am
Go out carjacking due to the horrendous lack of youth clubs in inner-cities?
It’s probably just as well. Youthclubs are just full of self-aggrandising ex-gangsters who send people out to murder drug dealers.
If I learned nothing else from GTAIV, I learned that.
June 24th, 2008 on 10:30 am
21 Super Mario Galaxy (Nintendo Wii)
21, that’s at least that game that Gary talks about with the dancing and spaceships on the Dreamcast.
June 24th, 2008 on 12:34 pm
That’s a weird list. Given the evident shiteness of the respondents, how did N64 Goldeneye beat Halo3? Nice to see though…
And where’s Oids for the Atari ST? Huh?
June 24th, 2008 on 12:37 pm
AND I’ve just noticed that the original Mariokart comes lower than every other fucking version that’s ever been made, which makes me want to SET FIRE to EVERYTHING THAT I CAN SEE.
June 24th, 2008 on 12:52 pm
Hmm, I see there’s no Quake…Cunts. And as for the omission of Lula, Virtual Babe…Cunts.
June 24th, 2008 on 1:33 pm
Quake?? You look at that list and the first thing you see missing is fucking Quake???
Cunt.
June 24th, 2008 on 2:03 pm
The best example of all this is if you look at the kid who won the million point prize or whatever:
“Killzone for me was the greatest game of all time because it was the first FPS I ever bought and it had the right kind of story…”
First FPS you ever bought, huh? So this makes you qualified to talk about games, how? Also, Killzone’s story, rofl.
June 24th, 2008 on 2:16 pm
This is the most disgusting list I ever saw. I think that looking at the top ten is saying everything.
June 24th, 2008 on 6:02 pm
To be fair, at least Half Life 2 is in the top 10. Games Master have a top 100 games of all time list this month too, and it’s EVEN WORSE. If you can even imagine that, it has SAN ANDREAS AT NUMBER 1. so, you might as well kill yourselves now. (For the record, I didn’t buy it, I saw it at my retarded friends house).
June 24th, 2008 on 7:09 pm
Not only did I vote for Elite, but I am waiting for Elite 4. Which will be out any day now. ANY DAY NOW.
(I want to believe)
June 25th, 2008 on 9:14 am
Where the hell is PORTAL!? If any modern game deserves to be in the top 100 games list, then the one game to make me break a smile, forget about the time and play with a sheer errection for the duration of it, deserves to be in there.
June 25th, 2008 on 5:48 pm
Championship Manager did indeed peak with the 01/02 edition as far as many of the series’ fans are concerned. It is one of the few aspects of the list which actually makes a reasonable amount of sense.
June 26th, 2008 on 11:05 am
Mark – Fookin Hell!
And where the bloody buggering hell is Chaos on the Spectrum?
(and while we’re at it, Rez, Portal, Bubble Bobble, Katamari Damacy, Turrican, etc etc)
To misquote Peep Show, “People like Coldplay and voted for Killzone. You can’t trust people”