Compiled by a man called Dolan.

“News just in: people are still IDIOTS. Don’t know if you’ve seen GAME’s Greatest Games of All Time list (chosen by the proles for the proles) but in a total not-shocking turn of events it’s predicatbly moronic with Call of Duty 4 coming out in the top spot and GTAIV hitting the number four spot, games most people would have barely spent seconds playing before voting for them. The rest of the list is mostly made up of shit people only vote for because they’re repeatedly told by others that the games are amazing.

“In response to this depressingly retarded turn of events I’ve put the list through a RIGOROUS and SCIENTIFIC process whereby I’ve removed every game that has only been out for 18 months, every game which only made it onto the list because it has already appeared on every single other “100 Greatest Games Ever” list (Mario, Zelda, Final Fantasy, etc) and every football game (immediate disqualification on grounds of not really being videogames) as well as every game only played by rabid PC nerds who only ever play one game (Warcraft, Command and Conquer, Counter Strike, etc). The remaining games are, therefore UNDENIABLY the hundred greatest games of all time.

“The resulting list reads as follows:

1-20 Sonic The Hedgehog (SEGA Mega Drive)
21-40 Elite (BBC Micro)
41-60 Shenmue (SEGA Dreamcast)
61-80 Sonic The Hedgehog 2 (SEGA Mega Drive)
81-100 TimeSplitters 2 (Multiformat)

“Can’t argue with the science – Dolan.”

Thanks, Dolan.