This is what we did between bouts of staring at the wall and staring at the ceiling.

  • This thing about Ryu Hyabusa toys. The only kind of toys it’s OK to still like when you’re as old as we are.
  • This thing about Miss World, because Miss Venezuela is much better for wanking over than a toy of a computer generated ninja.
  • This thing about THE MAN crushing the dreams of children and sneaky dads.
  • This thing about a wanking device.
  • This thing about plastic monstrosities for men who have given up hope of ever getting a woman to come inside their houses.
  • This thing about women standing in a line, because you can’t not use pictures like this when they come along:
  • 'Chicken, lamb or a titwank in the first class loos while I sob?'

    Done in a hurry. Mostly OK. Probably won’t get disciplined about any of it. 6/10.