ELSEWHERE ON "THE NETWORK" #00039
As well as endangering a man’s life by publishing photos taken from behind the frayed remains of the Iron Curtain, we having lovingly/hurriedly crafted the following gems/germs.
This thing in which we referred to a red camera as coming in “Inflamed Eczema Red,” launching a new subversive thread in which we will insert fictional product colour names in stories until someone complains about it and we’re made to stop and go back through every update we’ve ever written and remove them all. That’s what passes for FUN around here! This thing about cheap Xbox 360s. This thing about power cables which we were told to write, presumably as punishment for Inflamed Eczema Red. This thing which shows we know how advertising works. This thing about a product aimed at sporty women, because you can’t not use pictures like this when they come along:
You should see the state of the ones we didn’t use. 2/10.
filed in Uncategorized on Sep.26, 2008
September 26th, 2008 on 12:44 pm
Surely you could do them, then leave them there ravished, and kill them by dropping those chandeliers. Worth a bonus multiplier for 3 simultaneous kills, surely.
vjyiemi – the sensation of sliding into a vagina filled with jam.
September 26th, 2008 on 1:19 pm
All that £1800 power cable shit has given me my by-now-usual Friday afternoon INTENSE HATRED of humankind :(
The fucking bloke in Comet tried to sell me a £90.00 HDMI cable when there was one included with what I was buying. When I said that it was a rip off because the whole point about a digital signal is that the 0’s and 1’s either get through or they don’t, they can’t ‘slightly’ get through, he said that he had the £90 cable and the picture was ‘much better’ and then he looked condescending.
‘That means that the fucking marketing shits have duped you as well you TREMENDOUS, MASSIVE SLIMY CUNT’ is what I should have shouted but I just said no thanks and left the shop feeling miserable. It was a Friday afternoon :(
September 26th, 2008 on 6:32 pm
When I’ve ever had to deal with cocky salesmen i just say i have a degree in electronics and electrical engineering (which i do) and go into a diatribe about why they are wrong.
If i ever am in one of those electrical retailers and i see people hovering around cables and ripoff items i make sure to advise them on what not to buy.
I liked your eczema red suggestion, it’s pretty spot on, looking at one of my inflamed sores in comparison it’s a good observation. I’ve had severe eczema all my life and if you do get any complaints tell them to remove the rod from their ass and get on with life.
Can i make a suggestion for an equally gross colour, varicose vein blue and jaundice yellow.
September 26th, 2008 on 8:24 pm
I will use jaundice yellow. I might change it to “Jaundeese” though, to avoid detection.