Continuing our series of updates in which we attempt to alienate all but the most hardcore of readers by uploading the dullest possible material, we present the work of “Allan” – a man who whiled away the six hours of his EasyJet delay by photographing the inside of Gatwick’s arcade.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

“These shameful image-records were captured at Gatwick airport about a month ago. They might work as some sort of filler for a slow news day.”

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

“I especially enjoyed the Lazy Town lead-filled Chinese clone-toys in the Elaut grabber” – Al.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

The most exciting thing about this update is that, we would imagine, photography is not permitted within Gatwick Airport.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

Allan could’ve been mistaken for a terrorist.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

He may have been arrested and put in a cramped holding cell for 48 hours.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

There could’ve only been a shared toilet for him and six others to use.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

And several rapists in the same cell.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

Then Cream The Rabbit may have been arrested and put in the same cell.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

And it was hot in there. So very hot.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

So Cream had no choice but to remove her little shoes and socks.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

Then her dress.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

She smiled at Allan.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

Allan smiled back, unbuttoning his trousers.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

Cream smiled more, got up and walked slowly over to Allan’s cold steel bunk.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

Then one of the rapists got up to use the communal toilet and did a big poo.

INSIDE Gatwick Airport

The moment was gone. Cream hung herself with a torn up bed sheet six days later, while Allan was transferred to Guantanamo Bay where he still resides today despite protests from his family and the UK government.