Celebrating alone again this year? Baked beans and turkey burgers on toast as you wonder how early is too early to drink yourself to sleep and contemplate forcing out a wank over Duffy’s legs and boots on Christmas Top of the Pops?

Each cracker contains a joke. Perhaps we should buy a box to keep us in material during January of 2008.

'OK, now my left hand needs to pull a cracker with my right hand'

“To get in the festive spirit I picked up these awesome crackers (six crackers for a quid) when I noticed them in the window of a Pound-shop. SEGA is cleverly marketing Dreamcast through the unusual route of discount traditional festive items. As a blind SEGA fanboy I have clearly got my hopes up that each cracker will contain a VMU (complete with batteries) or a Rumble Pack and given SEGA’s track record of never disappointing its loyal fans I suspect I may have under-estimated the true bundle of joy contained within each golden-hued cracker, resplendent with it’s majestic ribbon trim.

“To simulate the late arrival of online gaming on DC in the West I have decided to wait until our work Christmas do to open these (I know, I know – my colleagues don’t realise how much of a treat they are in for) so expect and update regarding the novelty gift. I’m thinking the hat might be Sonic themed and the joke might even be a PS3 console.

“Photo is in a much higher resolution than the last update I sent you but apologies for the flash reflection. I couldn’t control my excitement and it was a borrowed camera. Enjoy!” – James G”

2448×3264 image taken on a Sony DSC W100. Much as we enjoy “hating on” Sony, the W range of digital cameras is quality through and through, or at least it was when we acquired a cheap W1 about five years ago. Cost-cutting may have taken hold since, mind.