LIFE GETS WORSE FOR “EVIL MUM” KAREN MATTHEWS
100% solid gold news! PlayStation “brand” associated with sick child kidnapper in poorly-written national news report! We will remember today as one of the greatest days. PlayStation is, literally, for doers of evil.
THE LINK OF JOY:
Evil Shannon mum Karen Matthews gets Playstation as a reward
Just when you think everyone in the country hates you enough, you get outed in the national press as a PlayStation3 fan. It’s enough to make you pity the disgusting, low-grade, nylon-clad hag.
“I love the way they explain all about the PS3 at the end though, the actual paper itself had a nice shiny picture too. It seems she’s taken Ken Kutaragi’s advice to get another job to be able to get a PS3 a little too literally” – Chris.
filed in Uncategorized on Dec.16, 2008
December 16th, 2008 on 12:33 pm
She could sell the PS3 to buy some condoms for next time.
December 16th, 2008 on 12:36 pm
I have it on good authority that Shipman was a fan of Metal Gear Solid and Gacy was mad on Wipeout. Playstation FILTH.
December 16th, 2008 on 12:43 pm
Would…
That is I would spend a very long time bludgeoning her to death with a large, heavy, blunt object; something possibly black and silver with a blu-ray drive.
December 16th, 2008 on 2:39 pm
I think what the article is trying to say is that Ken Kutaragi was in on the kidnap plot all along. It was supposed to be a marketing stunt, with Shannon turning up several weeks later, claiming she’d had the time of her life playing PS3 with her kidnapper. Unfortunately, the police found her and screwed it all up.
Sony’s part in this heinous act must not go unpunished.
December 16th, 2008 on 2:56 pm
I’m surprised there are five men in the world that desperate.
December 16th, 2008 on 2:58 pm
I’ve heard Josef Fritzl would buy a Playstation brand console for every child he fathered with one of his daughters. This probably accounts for most of the EU Playstation sales figures for the past three generations of consoles…
Also, I see Edge have continued their downward spiral into total incoherent drivel by giving LittleBigLevelEditor multiple game of the year nods. If they’d wanted to give an award to a barely average platform game there was Mirror’s Edge, Tomb Raider Underworld or Sonic Unleashed to choose from first…
December 16th, 2008 on 3:33 pm
I heard that Baby P got his injuries from having PS3s thrown at and dropped on him.*
*I’m starting an unofficial poll:
1) Subject is out of bounds full stop, you’re scum.
2) It’s too soon for jokes, give it a few weeks at least.
3) Borderline.
4) It’s perfectly fine, I wish I’d come up with such a heartless ‘joke’.
I have no moral compass, I need to know where the line is.
December 16th, 2008 on 3:47 pm
Would
December 16th, 2008 on 4:11 pm
Multiverse: not offensive at all. Unfortunately, not funny at all either.
December 16th, 2008 on 4:22 pm
One of these days I’ll be funny. You mark my words.
December 16th, 2008 on 4:43 pm
Blah, blah, blah.
You’re a big fat liar.
December 16th, 2008 on 5:08 pm
now that is a prison sentence locked in a room with only a ps£ and LBP for company, id rather have the death by wii fit please
December 16th, 2008 on 5:24 pm
Justin Penrose, I used to work with him on the highly esteemed (now deceased) Medway Today. Charming fellow.
Interestingly enough, his leaving present from the paper was one of the Final Fantasy games for one of Sony’s early war machines.
December 16th, 2008 on 5:33 pm
Just noticed the grammatical cock-up in the headline, Penrose has let his standards slip. Shameful.
Anyway, if they really wanted to punish her they should have given her a Wii with, say, a copy of Tomb Raider Anniversary.
That’s more than 20 hours of platforming misery and would make a week in solitary, with only your own shit for company, seem like an all-inclusive in Cancun.
December 16th, 2008 on 7:09 pm
“A prison source said: “She has kept her nose clean and is pretty much a model inmate. As a result, she’s entitled to a PlayStation in her room and DVD player.”
AND a DVD player?? So THAT’s where all the money the government spends on the prison service goes. Some ignorant civil servant doesn’t know that the playstation can play also DVDs? In fact it’s it’s primary function!
December 16th, 2008 on 8:00 pm
I’d like to point out that female prisoners in Washington State get to work time off their sentences by working as Microsoft CSR’s. That’s one instance where America is better than Britain.
Sorry, I was trying to come up with a good “there’s a monster under my bed” line, but I got nothing. Drew a blank.
December 16th, 2008 on 9:02 pm
We all know what she likes to get up to in HOME.
December 16th, 2008 on 9:55 pm
I’d like to see what her LBP level would be like.
Sackboy temazepamed up to his eyeballs hiding under a divan with drugged up kids.
It’s all part of Sony’s dream for a new tomorrow.
BAN THIS SICK FILTH!
December 16th, 2008 on 10:25 pm
“That’s more than 20 hours of platforming misery and would make a week in solitary, with only your own shit for company, seem like an all-inclusive in Cancun.”
I’ve been to Cancun and the only difference with your description was that I got to eat the shit of somebody else, hidden in my food, and got severe diarrhoea as a result. Oh, and I wasn’t in solitary but in hell, with a bunch of vacationing Americans who thought Mexico was populated by servants.
December 17th, 2008 on 1:38 am
I fucking hate kids.
December 17th, 2008 on 9:42 am
This is madness. We need to break the cycle. Surely the fact that she was inspired to crime by playing Grand Theft Auto on previous PlayStation consoles is reason enough to prevent this. Everyone knows that all PlayStation games are crime and murder simulators.
This wouldn’t have happened if she had been on the Sega side of the fence. The blue skies could have prevented this awful crime. I mean think about it. If she had a Master System then she would have played Alex Kidd. Knowing how to treat A Kidd would have steered her clear of her evil plot. A Megadrive would have shown her that by breaking the law she faced the wrath of Axel, Blaze, Adam and their friends which would have prevented this crime from being committed. A Saturn, 2 multi-taps and Saturn Bomberman would have allowed her and any combination totalling 9 of her children and their fathers could have played, promoting family unity. Also having played Virtua Cop and Virtua Cop 2 she would have known not to break the law. A Dreamcast – well what more need be said? She would have received Chu Chu Rocket for free from Sega therefore not needing the money that a kidnap plot was designed to raise. Perhaps if she is to be given any games console a Game Gear should be the one. Not only would it’s portability give a sense of freedom but with the TV Tuner then she could watch the soaps too.
On an incidental point how much of a model prisoner can you be in a week or two with little to no contact with the other in-mates? I mean did the authorities go “Well she hasn’t kidnapped anyone since she has been here – let’s “reward” her with a PS3” Also isn’t it difficult to criticise the poor human rights performance of countries like China and Zimbabwe if we are foisting the cruel and unusual punishment of forcing PS3’s on lawbreakers?
December 17th, 2008 on 10:37 am
That has to be to best anonymous comment at 8.42 I’ve ever heard. 10/10
December 17th, 2008 on 10:44 am
That is indeed some super work. I’d definitely want credit for doing that many words. I might even start up a separate blog on the back of it.
We now have one “Pro” to go with the 7,000 “Cons” of turning on anonymous commenting.
December 17th, 2008 on 11:51 am
No big deal, really. Those anonymous Chinese guys on Idiot Toys do that many words and more without breaking a sweat.
December 17th, 2008 on 12:04 pm
This story is wrong. Typical tabloid shite shovelled in front of an ignorant, fuckwit readership that swallow it down whole.
PS3 is not allowed in any prison due to it's ability to "send and receive radio signals". PS2 was removed from many prisons as it was being used to play pr0n dvds – some prisons will let you have dvd players though.
So that scumshit scratchcard slapper has herself a psOne or ps2 at best but it could well be a gamecube or xbox, as all have been bought by HMP in the past few years.
& I have to agree with Ren, 8:42 has been a particularly bad time of day for anonymous comments until this thread. 10/10.
December 17th, 2008 on 12:14 pm
Fucking lame here in America a prisoner can get a clean blanket for good behavior, crappy liberal Brits.
December 17th, 2008 on 12:38 pm
Yes it’s true, we should all bow before the might of the US – they do everything right – we love you! Us crappy liberal Brits bow before your superiority. Oh, btw, fuck off you cunt.
December 17th, 2008 on 1:01 pm
Well, Adolf Hitler apparently likes the Wii, as the first picture clearly proves:
http://www.lehighvalleylive.com/today/index.ssf/2008/12/holland_township_family_angry.html
December 17th, 2008 on 1:32 pm
Everything I post is gold and I never bother to sign in.
December 17th, 2008 on 1:57 pm
i thought this woman was a cunt, now i have proof… thankyou UKR…
December 17th, 2008 on 4:38 pm
Scott, if by proof you prefer 2nd hand tabloid bullshit vs. a verdict in court then keep it locked, UK:R will continue to bring you the goodies.
I thought the sega bomber was more 100% gold than this sack of shit half truth, but there you go.
btw, how limp are we now LBP is at #6? Maybe we can have a boxing day gloves-off poshie next week… if that’s the kind of thing that gets your rocks off.
December 17th, 2008 on 5:36 pm
Yep, discounting a Triple-A game to £19.99 four weeks after launch is really bringing in the pennies.
December 17th, 2008 on 10:53 pm
Yeah, but how much lower could Sony go? Oh… http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2008/12/16/new-psp-loli-eroge/
December 17th, 2008 on 11:21 pm
SEGA MEGADRIVE KILLS INFIDELS