A MAN GOT EXCITED ABOUT A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG CARRIER BAG
It’s time to give up. Learn a trade. Become a plumber or a bricklayer. Or a boat maker. People will always need boats. There’s no dignity left in getting excited about mascot-branded products for the benefit of the internet.
“I thought you might like to know that Sonic isn’t losing any sleep over he’s impending relegation as your mascot, as he is now whoring himself on HMV bags. I’ve attached a couple low-quality pictures taken on my phone (it’s a Sony phone, so what do you expect?) for you to weep/masturbate over.”
“Very long time reader, so glad I can finally contribute to your excellent site. I generally got excited when this came up, and I’m not even single. Thanks for your time” – Dan.
filed in Uncategorized on Jan.26, 2009
January 26th, 2009 on 2:00 pm
Not being single? Your hand doesn’t count Dan, you sony-loving freak
WV- fonecu – what sony phones are not
January 26th, 2009 on 2:29 pm
Warning! White blobs on carrier bag are NOT pre printed snowflakes.
January 26th, 2009 on 5:02 pm
If those white blobs aren’t painted snow, he should see a doctor about his explosive spatter ejaculations. Or put the Prince Albert back in.
January 26th, 2009 on 5:06 pm
Carrier bags with faces!
On the right, level with Sonic’s hand! 2 big bits of snow for eyes and then a row of smaller blobs for the mouth.
January 26th, 2009 on 6:59 pm
AAAARGH! The word is ‘HIS,’ not ‘HE’S.’ It’s worse than people putting ‘?!’ when all they require is ‘!’
Rant over.
January 26th, 2009 on 7:05 pm
Hah, I’m finally on UK:Resistance!
For the record, the Sony phone is shit and I’m changing it soon. And I did say what do you expect for the poor images…!
January 26th, 2009 on 7:33 pm
fuck off zorg
January 26th, 2009 on 10:51 pm
Sometimes I feel like a masochistic gimp. And you all should too! Zorg keeps putting out this crap, even getting rid of “Elsewhere on the network” – and we keep coming back for more!
Come on Zorg, abuse me! How many SEGA capsule toys can you fit in my stinkhole? I NEED YOUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ASSAULTS TO FEEL VALUE!
January 27th, 2009 on 1:33 am
Dan, you’re a hero, you really don’t need to apologise about your camera.
wv: dante (seriously, i got dante. so that’s either dante’s inferno, dante’s peak, or dante from that game with the puppets)
January 27th, 2009 on 1:50 am
Fucking Sony cameras! This isn’t nearly high-res enough for a wank.
January 27th, 2009 on 10:00 am
I think Zorg is having a genuine crisis. A kind of early midlife crisis, tied in with existential doubt about the purpose of life and the reason for his existance.
To be fair it’s not surprising. The irony can only function properly for so long; at what stage do undertakings like UK:R and IT become only self referential? More wanking in fact? For instance I’m starting to think that gadgets with faces are genuinely important.
Lets face it, all you have is US, Zorg! What about US? I realise that this may not be a very good pep talk
January 27th, 2009 on 11:15 am
Well you picked an excellent time to change careers Zorg what with the market being so buoyant. Nobody needs boats. Nobody needs bricks. Nobody needs plumbs. You’re stuck with us FOREVER.
January 27th, 2009 on 2:08 pm
Badben, you’ve got it easy. Whenever I got to a shop now I got straight to the batteries without thinking, to judge them, and stroke their pretty packaging. You have no idea how embarrassing it is to be barred from the pound store
January 28th, 2009 on 1:28 pm
I have that bag… I used it as a reference picture (copied it by sight alone) to make my first ever “freakishly long legged” Sonic illustration.
I’ll upload it if anyone can guess my favourite colour.
WV: “wingshat”… The best wv ever!