“THE FOREPLAY WILL NOW BEGIN”
SEGA Toys does it again, with the Love Trainer. A perfectly targeted product for those (a) unfamiliar with how to do sex and (b) into SEGA products.
It’s like we were all involved in the planning stages.
It tells you how to do sex, but doesn’t come with a woman to practise on/with. Thanks to the 13 separate people who sent this in.
filed in Uncategorized on Jan.30, 2009
January 30th, 2009 on 2:08 pm
Hey Zorg
Your website sucks
It used to be good
But now it sucks
Please start doing decent updates again
Love,
Anon
x
January 30th, 2009 on 2:13 pm
“Love,
Anon”
Sending people love anonymously? Isn’t that technically stalking?
January 30th, 2009 on 2:14 pm
Blimey, Lobot from Bespin Cloud City must’ve been an absolute stallion.
Yes, I’m ashamed I knew that (non-speaking) characters name, but in my defence it’s at least from Empire Strikes Back, not one of the newer Star Wars films…
January 30th, 2009 on 2:16 pm
So now human males need to be told what to do in order to enjoy themselves whist having sex. Great. That’s just fucking great.
We’ll be extinct within 100 years, mark my words, and we’ll have FUCKING DESERVED IT.
Friday afternoon depression, to be brutally numbed in about 8 hours with 3 bottles of wine, here I come :( It could have at least been a Sony product, ensuring your head would be on fire as you use it
January 30th, 2009 on 5:24 pm
Badben – like the Asgard in Stargate SG1?!
….
I’ll get my coat
January 30th, 2009 on 5:55 pm
I don’t get it. Where am I supposed to put my bellend in that thing?
January 30th, 2009 on 7:27 pm
So how does this work? Does the “renowned Japanese Love Doctor” suddenly start bellowing in your ear what to do next?
“Now remove plick from rady’s vagina and ejacurate on face!!! Conglaturations big boy!”
January 30th, 2009 on 7:36 pm
If only this were real – it’s a hoax :(
January 30th, 2009 on 8:09 pm
so it’s not real? … there was me imagining Yuji Naka putting in a request for 2 dozen interns who could fiddle with his nipples and blow on his toes as he “researches” what can happen when you put some headphones on at the same time.
Having a cock with the exact dimensions of a VMU I already thought Sega treated me to a love trainer when the dreamcast pad came out.
January 30th, 2009 on 9:45 pm
I miss the old UK Resistance…. c’mon guys,quit posting rubbish.
By the way,Love Trainer is an embarassing fake…
http://www.itami.com/
January 30th, 2009 on 10:59 pm
People complaining about this type of update should check the archives. This IS UKR. So fuck off trying to be smug about how you have no time for the site now. It was never any better. This is it. You are a cunt.
And how fucking dull do you have to be to post anonymously when it allows you to make up a name? Is there really so fucking little going on in your mind you can’t think of something to call yourself?
And who the crivens says “c’mon guys”? This isn’t an American teen soap aimed at mentally retarded children.
January 30th, 2009 on 11:52 pm
c’mon guys, the washed up, drug using 80s has-been is correct. This IS UK:R. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight. We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today, we celebrate our Zorg Day!
January 31st, 2009 on 12:03 am
I thought it was a pretty amusing update. I didn’t actually play the youtube vid though
word verification: flukers – can’t decide on a joke to make
January 31st, 2009 on 12:54 am
Badben you cunt..what do you mean Friday depression you whore. It’s the weekend, frankly I’m depressed Mon-Thur you sperm addict. Oh and Sunday, because Monday is coming up.
Fuck yeah.
January 31st, 2009 on 9:47 am
Who cares that this is a fake? This is a site about hope, not reality.
The way she pronounced ‘yearn’ sounded like ‘urine’. Making a better name for this the Wee Fit.
January 31st, 2009 on 12:43 pm
Can outsourcing save Sony?
http://www.businessweek.com/globalbiz/content/jan2009/gb20090130_697510.htm?chan=top+news_top+news+index+-+temp_global+business
Yes! Outsource the games division to Sega … or at least VTech. Stay away from Phil Harrison consulting or Kutaragi and Associates freelance console designers.
January 31st, 2009 on 3:34 pm
I sincerely hope that Squarepusher was responsible for the soundtrack to this video. If not, this is some major plagiarism of his song ‘Come On My Selector’.
Listen to the first minute of music, and then for the basis of comparison watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVLMsJ22i4o
See?
If it is a licensed remix then Squarepusher is endorsing Sega, if not it means Sega are FILTHY IDEA THIEVES, or at least that they licensed a FILTHY IDEA THIEF for the video. Either way, by extension or directly Sega are RELATED TO THIEVERY if the latter be truthful.
February 1st, 2009 on 3:37 am
Surely the guaranteed cure for erectile problems is ‘Don’t wank three times a day for at least four days before you buy your old boot of a missus that posh dinner that’s guaranteed to drop her knickers’?
After four days you’ll be so gagging for it you’ll have no problems staying up once her minge has become so loose it’s like throwing a pencil into the channel tunnel.
February 1st, 2009 on 2:07 pm
i’m just on my way out to buy a card.
February 1st, 2009 on 4:14 pm
Has anyone here encountered the Dreamcast love going on at Eurogamer right now?
February 1st, 2009 on 7:48 pm
As there is no UKR Forum (thank Zarathustra), I shall post this here. Are you all aware that the Nebula, Model 2 arcade emulator has been updated to version 0.9 and can now play arcade perfect Daytona USA… ONLINE?! Virtua Fighter 2 near perfect. All Model 2 games now supported and looking more or less perfect.
Well it has.
February 2nd, 2009 on 9:35 am
why is there no UKR forum? i remember reading UKR forum a few years back. it was scary but enticing.
February 2nd, 2009 on 2:38 pm
Well Done. Let’s make love more regularly.
February 3rd, 2009 on 6:43 am
saying UK resistance has changed is like saying obama can save the economy. nothing has changed. you have. you bought into HOME and YOU ARE LIVING now ahhahahah