MASSIVE AND THRILLING DREAMCAST-LIKE LOGO UPDATE
We are not stopping with the spiral updates. We are, however, taking your comments on board. Rather than individual spiral updates, we shall try to only do one MEGA-COMBI spiral update per month. This is fair. This is a compromise. This means everyone is happy and no one has to call anyone else a cunt in the comments.
This was sent in by “Will”. It’s from Zelda. It means something like Dreamcast 2 is coming and SEGA’s going to buy Nintendo with all the money it’s made from doing Sonic & Mario.
This is from one of our 2.7 million readers called “Chris”. It’s of a Dreamcast logo on a man’s URBAN VEST JUMPER COAT HYBRID, as featured on a web site for Sony’s ultra-poor Rolly MP3-playing robot twat. It means that SEGA is buying Sony with all the money it’s made from doing Sonic & Mario and basing Dreamcast 2 around the Cell architecture.
This is from “Joe”. It’s of a lamp. This means SEGA will be exclusively marketing and releasing Dreamcast 2 through IKEA.
This is from “Sam”. It’s something he saw in Costa Coffee. This means Sam has yet to be impacted upon by the credit crunch and still thinks spending £2.55 on a cup of coffee and a further £3.75 on a toasted ciabatta is an acceptable way to behave.
This is from “Waqas”. It’s of some bins. Waqas needs to get a new phone with a better camera VERY URGENTLY.
This is from “Tim”. He spotted it during Doctor Who. The golden era of when Billie Piper was in it.
Tim wisely supplied a close-up of Billie’s face. If you want a nice, hi-res promotional photo of Billie Piper, there’s one here – we obtained it under slightly false pretences by pretending it was for illustrating proper news.
filed in Uncategorized on Feb.12, 2009
February 12th, 2009 on 1:19 pm
I’m pretty sure the second one was intentionally put there by a Sony employee for the sole intent of getting it on UK:R.
February 12th, 2009 on 1:22 pm
Cunt.
February 12th, 2009 on 1:41 pm
“URBAN VEST JUMPER COAT HYBRID”?
It’s a bodywarmer! Admittedly, they’re a bit shit and faddish but come on! You know what they are.
The symbolism of that last Billie Piper photo is flagrantly apparent; she is turning her back on Dreamcast in disgust. With this indisputable evidence, I as part of the Sega Ayatollah decree that all of her crap roles in rubbish TV and her shit attempts at music ages ago be burned in the streets.
Another fatwa will be issued against Jonathon Ross, just because he’s a total fuckwit.
The Ayatollah have spoken.
February 12th, 2009 on 1:46 pm
I hope you’re grateful that UK:R readers are still prepared to bleed a stone here, Zorg! I want sexy touchings and a fancy dinner for keeping your tarnished ego afloat!
February 12th, 2009 on 1:48 pm
Waqas’s phone camera looks pretty similar to mine. I still prouly use a Nokia 6230i. In a dirty cheapskate aftermarket maroon casing. It’s fucking grim. I WIN.
Also BTW it’s a recession now. So now you’re allowed to have ‘Credit Crunch Nostalgia’, i.e. “sigh, do you remember when all this was just a credit crunch”?
February 12th, 2009 on 1:48 pm
Download Diary of a Call Girl. In HD. Your opinion of Billie will change.
February 12th, 2009 on 2:07 pm
Billie Piper looks like one of those rubber puppets from CITV, can’t remember the name of them. They were like gypsy trolls or something.
Why did most home made CITV stuff take place near a canal?
I like the idea of lumping ALL the swirl updates into one big update. Finally clear that arse infection with one hard strain.
February 12th, 2009 on 2:13 pm
That’s a great photo of Billie. It is pretty much the platonic form of the word “flabbergasted”
February 12th, 2009 on 2:27 pm
I have actually sent in pictures of dreamcast swirls to this website which were cruelling ignored and not posted, even though they were funnier AND infinetly better than all of these pictures in this update combined. But then this sites creators did stick with the sonic logo through his darkest next gen days only to then get rid of him when unleashed (a sonic game which WASENT ACTUALLY BAD) comes out. weird/stupid. as a sega fan i am disappointed with this turn of events.
February 12th, 2009 on 2:40 pm
The other lady that Billie – I’ve had Ginger nuts in my mouth – Piper is talking to in that first photo would appear to be the vaguely dirty teacher from the first series of Teachers.
I seem to remember they kept showing close-ups of her arse while she was walking. Brilliant.
February 12th, 2009 on 2:46 pm
I’ve got to say it, Billie Piper: wouldn’t. It’s the horsey teeth I think, although now she’s had a baby the vagina is likely to be rubbish as well.
wv: jokings
February 12th, 2009 on 3:26 pm
This ‘Tim’ fellow still has my copies of Shenmue AND Shenmue II for Dreamcast after about 5 years, the cunt!
February 12th, 2009 on 4:06 pm
Billie Piper had mildly disturbing tits when she got them out, if I remember correctly.
Still would though, pbviously.
Even though, as photoboy pointed out, she now probably has a twat like the tardis doors.
Of which she is coming out of in that hi-res pic, in some sort of chicken-egg conundrum. Oh, wait, it was an analogy, her twat isn’t actually the tardis, or is it…
February 12th, 2009 on 6:30 pm
I feel sullied by reading these sexist comments women that have appeared here in the past couple of days.
Lovely!
February 12th, 2009 on 11:17 pm
I hope this is the first post Mr. Naka reads when he follows up on UK:R. I’m sure he’ll be impressed.
I wanted to make a post like ‘What does God…actually… er… do?’ and just string words together with no regard for grammar but their example was too good to top.
February 12th, 2009 on 11:43 pm
@Anonymous 2
Thanks! :D It was entirely intentional of course.
*cough*
February 12th, 2009 on 11:57 pm
What are all you cunts Doing reading this when you should be playing Sonic’s Greatest Genesis Collection right now!! Hell I had to wait a extra day because store only had ps3 copies left and plenty of them the 360 ones sold out. Fuck that should be the next update review the greatness of this game. Finally there is a great game with Sonic in the title.
O and would the colored chick.
February 12th, 2009 on 11:58 pm
Golden era of Doctor Who. Billie Piper. Two completely unrelated subjects.
Now, ‘stupid face’ and ‘Billie Piper’ would be a perfectly good match.
February 13th, 2009 on 12:56 am
Actually I was in TK Maxx when I saw that lamp. Further evidence that Sega are losing it completely.
February 13th, 2009 on 2:42 am
Why did they have to Photoshop the words onto the Tardis door, in the high-res picture link that was linked to? That seems unprofessional. You should ask for a different high-res promotional picture.
February 13th, 2009 on 4:11 am
OK, now bring back Elsewhere on the Network and Employee of the Week!
February 14th, 2009 on 1:41 am
And bring back Swillman while you’re at it!
@ “What does God… actually… er… do?”
Is that you Ellie?