GEMMA ATKINSON WAS IN A GAME
So it’s entirely “within remit” and “on message” for us to feature a link to an eBay auction where you may purchase one of her bikinis.
100% allowed.
WHEN READERS EXPLAIN THINGS IN MORE DEPTH:
“There’s no picture of the garments themselves, possibly because her publicist wanted to keep her little problem of incontinence on a down low. I thought you might be interested as UK:R has expressed a masturbatory approval motion on Ms. Atkinson many times prior, which has been favourably met by her drooling, wank-hungry readership.
“You need to be an ‘approved buyer’ to bid on this, which presumably means Gemma has stipulated that only rich and promising types may be granted the honour of imbibing the subtle nosegays of her nether regions, and not your average lascivious Sun reading/Ginsters slice consuming/wolf-whistling/Rupert Murdoch trusting lowest common denominator troglodyte.
“If anybody’s interested, I’m selling my own replica models, which are basically just the cheapest bikini from Primark with prawn cocktail crisps rubbed around the gusset and one of those embroidered strip labels you used to have on your PE kit at school inscribed with the name ‘Gemma Atkinson’.
“I’m taking orders now” – Weatherbox.
filed in Uncategorized on Apr.08, 2009
April 8th, 2009 on 1:09 pm
How did you manage to post this an hour into the future? HOW?!
And also, I’m not reading all that waffle. UK:R is not quite in the ‘Read Properly’ category of websites.
April 8th, 2009 on 1:29 pm
It was quite amusing actually and had lots of big words in it to make you feel smart.
April 8th, 2009 on 1:51 pm
fanTASTIC update zorg
i love you again
April 8th, 2009 on 1:54 pm
It’s already up to £465! I can’t believe anyone would pay that much without confirmation the items have not been washed or had anything done to remove Gemma’s vag scent.
April 8th, 2009 on 3:02 pm
RED ring ALERT
i’ve got a hot one for ya!
April 8th, 2009 on 3:41 pm
I’ve no idea who Gemma Atkinson is but I wouldn’t mind courting her. I would certainly enjoy some “how’s your father” with her.
I wish I could be in an Anderson shelter with her during the black out! That would be one thing to thank Mr Hitler for! As well as hardcore scheizer porn, of course.
April 8th, 2009 on 4:24 pm
{sigh}
6 comments and still no-ones said it yet?
(Corporal Jones’comment doesn’t count, far too subtle)
Suppose I’ll have to then.
Would, obviously. Not too sure about the bikini auction though, they might be all stretched out of shape if they’re anything like the pictures on the auction. Nowt worse than knickers in the wrong aspect ratio.
April 8th, 2009 on 4:40 pm
Gemma Atkinson in ‘Red Alert 3’? Sounds like niche menstrual porn to me.
Maybe it’s because I’m a depraved pervert.
April 8th, 2009 on 5:04 pm
Gemma Atkinson has the nicest tits I ever came across.
April 8th, 2009 on 6:32 pm
nicest tits?
she has no nipples…
http://img.celeb.gate.cc/gallery/gemma_atkinson_33834.jpeg
April 8th, 2009 on 10:48 pm
very tempted to order from you weatherbox, is there an option for getting the gusset treated with beef crisps though? I need more options.
April 8th, 2009 on 10:57 pm
A used bikini? That’s just dirty. And unhygenic. I’ll be sure to give it a thorough washing before I wear it. A thorough, thorough washing. Dirty, dirty bikini.
April 8th, 2009 on 11:06 pm
Scampi Nik Naks would work better than prawn cocktail OR beef crisps.
April 8th, 2009 on 11:12 pm
So is she younger or older than Egg Monroe?
WV – Tolasms – result of wanking off the guy that opens the barrier at Dartford in lieu of 3 quid (which is a FUCKING RIP OFF by the way)
April 9th, 2009 on 12:05 am
her names egg monroe shes older
April 9th, 2009 on 12:09 am
Thanks for correcting my spelling error on Gusset, Zorg. I got an inverted erection when I noticed that one.
April 9th, 2009 on 9:05 am
@ Corporal… I didn’t know Mr. Hitler did hardcore scheizer porn. Are you uploading somewhere?
April 9th, 2009 on 9:26 am
Is that 3 quid to get into Dartford or out of Dartford?
I would suspect one of those options is quite probably a bargain?
April 9th, 2009 on 10:34 am
Not when Thurrock is on the other side.
April 9th, 2009 on 10:55 am
Ummm… trying to think up a joke that has something about the picture of Gemma in the army in it, the bikini & something about discharge,d?…. any takers?…
April 10th, 2009 on 9:34 pm
Wouldn’t.