i-SPAX MODEL JACOB-52/17-col.7 – A.K.A. THE DREAMCAST SPECTACLES
Reader, t-shirt owner, news-supplier and all-round solid chap “Chris” realised – to his JOY – that his spectacles have the Dreamcast logo etched onto the bit that goes behind your ears. The ear clasp. The ear holder. The ear hook. The safety lever. The head attachment spoke. Whatever it’s called.
This is such good news it can’t wait until April’s spiral round-up and MUST be given the publicity it deserves. Especially as Chris wrote lots of words, making this look like an update we spent 20 minutes on rather than five.
You might need to turn the contrast on your screen up a bit.
“I was cleaning my glasses the other night and, even though I’ve worn them for about five months, noticed for the first time that they have little Dreamcast logos on them. This instantly makes my glasses Cool As Fuck(TM) and means I can see in Segavision.”
“I’ve taken a photo of them on top of a dictionary. It’s not my dictionary but at least it proves I have at least one friend who knows how to spell words. It also gives a fantastic sense of scale: in this case, proving that these Dreamglasses are roughly the same size as a ‘normal’ pair of human glasses.”
“I shouldn’t be sharing this secret because I want the power all to myself, but the glasses were made by i-spax, who are German, and the product code, handily written on the glasses themselves, is JACOB-52/17-col.7 so if anyone wants a pair they should thrust that information in their optician’s scab-encrusted face and demand he orders them before he gets raped in a way he couldn’t possibly have imagined when he rode to work that morning on his pathetically underpowered bicycle.”
“I have also attached an image of a Sonic toy that I got from a capsule machine at a service station, who is pictured thumbing that cunt from Little Big Planet up the arse. Cheers” – Chris.
filed in Uncategorized on Apr.02, 2009
April 2nd, 2009 on 11:19 am
Would.
April 2nd, 2009 on 11:30 am
WV: Temple Tip- The bit that goes behind your ear.
April 2nd, 2009 on 11:40 am
Aren’t there any, y’know, *games* to write about?
April 2nd, 2009 on 11:52 am
Is that a Mac in the background? Scum.
April 2nd, 2009 on 12:17 pm
The dictionary is clearly fucking massive. I believe that those glasses are sized for an elephant. A short sighted SEGA loving elephant.
April 2nd, 2009 on 1:59 pm
i-spax can also be used as a name for Apple customers.
April 2nd, 2009 on 3:08 pm
I want to see more pictures of sackboy being defiled.
April 2nd, 2009 on 3:21 pm
a sonic toy.. from a capsule? moving random objects, like glasses, in a strange irrelevant way for the sole purpose of viewing the object from a different angle?… you ARE RYO HAZUKI and your REAL LIFE IS SHENMUE.
April 2nd, 2009 on 3:23 pm
But sonic’s going to have a horrible pooie thumb now : (
April 2nd, 2009 on 4:09 pm
Not if sackboy washed properly.
April 2nd, 2009 on 4:22 pm
Is there some kind of anal sex ‘etiquette’ then?
April 2nd, 2009 on 4:26 pm
second deejay – do some games writing. Currently using Affectionate Diary for probably 95% of games related LoLz. It’s not like the old days…
April 2nd, 2009 on 4:30 pm
No one sends me any games any more. And if there’s something I really, really want to play, I’m happy to wait 18 months until it’s £8.99. Even OutRun Online is on shaky ground at the moment.
April 2nd, 2009 on 6:07 pm
her names egg monroe shes older
April 2nd, 2009 on 7:29 pm
Glasses product codes always contain a boys name. I like this.
April 2nd, 2009 on 9:09 pm
There’s decaying flesh incrusted in the DC swirl T_T
April 3rd, 2009 on 1:05 am
The only thing that made this update worth reading was the phrase “SEGAVISION”.
April 3rd, 2009 on 8:36 am
Looks like SackBoy is having a fantastic time. It must be very liberating for him.
I wonder if he’s got a body to show underneath that zip of his.
Sonic can also be considered a ‘SackBoy’ when he whips his cock and balls out and slaps everyone in the face with his testicles.