INDUSTRY NEWS: HARALDUR THORVALDSSON IS GROWING OUT HIS GOATEE
The Hansoft software engineer has abandoned the neatly-trimmed goatee look and is currently in the process of turning it into a full beard. He intends to keep the neckline relatively hairless.
Facial coverage should be complete by Q3.
filed in Uncategorized on Apr.23, 2009
April 23rd, 2009 on 11:12 am
Still wouldnt
April 23rd, 2009 on 12:06 pm
Fascinating. May I make the presumption that not having hair on your neck is more kept? I yes I may. I do love making presumptions they are so cute and cuddly.
April 23rd, 2009 on 12:21 pm
her names egg monroe she older
April 23rd, 2009 on 12:43 pm
Best Update EVER
April 23rd, 2009 on 1:26 pm
Breaking news!
Zorg is sitting on a ROCK!
Brought to you by the Facebook Stalkers of Great Britain Society.
April 23rd, 2009 on 1:35 pm
‘zorgstalking.com’ is still free. Now *that* would be a blog…
April 23rd, 2009 on 1:55 pm
‘zorgstalking.com’
what a twist!!!
April 23rd, 2009 on 1:57 pm
By shaving his neckline Haraldur has, perhaps unwittingly, mimicked the practice of male porn stars who shave their balls to make their erections look bigger.
His neck now gives the illusion of being much longer than it most likely is. It’s pure speculation at this point but I’d wager that if we placed his photo side by side with that of a freshly shaven nut sack then a number of remarkable similarities would emerge.
April 23rd, 2009 on 2:44 pm
He should really get that mole checked out that’s on the side of his neck
April 23rd, 2009 on 3:24 pm
His hair seems to be levitating a couple of centimetres above his head & I think he's having one off the wrist as well.
April 23rd, 2009 on 3:32 pm
not sure if the two are related, does that happen to anybody else?
April 23rd, 2009 on 5:11 pm
Dear tiny penised internet folk,
Is there a name for this psychological deficit of ‘looking at a picture of somebody and laughing at their shortcomings to boost your own self-esteem’? The nearest I could find was ‘Victorian Freakshow-induced Schadenfreude’, or ‘misanthropic self-loathing’. What do you think? Maybe it should just be called ‘Sad cunt’s syndrome’, not in honour of who discovered it, but those who suffer from it.
Love,
DR. Weatherbox.
April 23rd, 2009 on 5:13 pm
Cant decide if that photo is taken against a wall, or him lying on the tarmac whilst “Sonic t-shirt girl” sucks him off? Either way, I’d watch.
April 23rd, 2009 on 6:36 pm
Is that this sex face? He looks like he's being gently masturbated. By that scary emo girl with the green & blue hair'. His wang must be covered with fried cheese grease. Eww
How right you are Dr.Weatherbox, it is not big or clever for people to list others short coming to increase there own feeling of self worth. Truly our moral compass has no direction.
Or perhaps you are the scary man in this picture. When are ever going to move out of your mums house? Your 34! 34!! Get rid of your He-Man bed covers and move on.
April 23rd, 2009 on 7:50 pm
Would.
April 23rd, 2009 on 10:12 pm
So, Dr Weatherbox, what exactly was your reason for posting? If not to massage your own limp dicked ego? Hmmm…
April 23rd, 2009 on 10:22 pm
It’s astonishing! Him being here in the first place, and then slagging off other people for slagging off other people. No doubt a singularity is about to form and swallow the universe!
April 24th, 2009 on 1:13 am
Not that I feel the need to explain myself to DR. weatherbox but…
He’s only being made fun of because (1) He has a job, I don’t. (2) He looks happy, I’m not. (3) I know I would, but I feel he would not reciprocate. (4) He looks like he can handle it.
If he’s going to be seen at UK:R then he can take the punishment like the rest of us.
(5) Cover the right parts, and his face does bear a striking resemblance to a scrotum. No one has said this is a bad thing.
April 24th, 2009 on 1:16 am
Good God man! Now you're slagging off the man that was slagging others for slagging off someone!
We are all doomed for sure. (An infinity loop which will result in a quantum cascade ripping apart the very fabric of space & time. Make good with your maker, it's the end of the universe!
So, er.. WeatherBox, – since it's the end of existence & all that, – fancy massaging my tiny, limp penis? I'll even let you put it in you mouth if you like.
April 24th, 2009 on 2:21 am
But three wrongs make a right! If the PlayStation brand has taught me anything, it’s that.
April 24th, 2009 on 2:25 am
Can we get an update on how Jade Raymond’s bush is going?
April 24th, 2009 on 2:29 am
Ulala’s wow gold panties.
April 24th, 2009 on 8:56 am
Dear all,
I was criticising those who had designed to ordain themselves as abritrators of beauty and the upholding of ‘looking normal’. I admit, no criticism is particularly productive, but I think it’s better to criticise bumholes like you lot rather than a man who had the ‘temerity’ to look like somebody and have his picture taken to be submitted on the internet. There are critics in every field, and yes, life is an endless chain of infinitely regressive and accumulating metaphorical figuration of variegated and socio-political, cultural definitions of ‘favourable/unfavourable’, that ain’t no suprise. The quest for being ‘genuine’ is predicated for many upon an pious and antiquated notion of human distinction between ‘holy’ and ‘sinful’, and as for beauty? Well, if you’re happy to have your sensibilities cultivated by mass media representations of what is desirable, that’s fine by me, but you’re a poo bum for it, says I, and I think you’re a cunt too.
As for my ego, well, yes. I am driven by my ego. What drives you, The Holy Spirit?
I only really said it to cause a stir, and right now, I’m casuing another stir. No doubt people will pick this to pieces and call me a pretentious winkle, and I am really. I didn’t want to go this far, but I have to start what I finished, otherwise I might get ‘verbal constipation’.
April 24th, 2009 on 8:59 am
Ulala has some new type of pantie with a built in display for how many times she has taken it up the arse that day. Fantastic. Dr Weatherbox’s mum also has a pair. As does his/her dad. His/her dads have now gone “around the clock”.
April 24th, 2009 on 9:01 am
Conclusion: He’s just a man. In a picture. There’s no need to be mean. Is that an unreasonable position to hold?
April 24th, 2009 on 9:08 am
One more thing: It appears to me that Zorg’s joke in putting up this picture was a satire on UK:R’s own impotence to produce ‘cutting edge gaming news’, instead focusing on the idler’s minutiae of the gaming industry. I think the interpretation of this picture as a means by which to feel better about yourself is very, VERY indicative of Tinypenisitis. It’s one of the major symptoms. That, and a sock in the trousers.
April 24th, 2009 on 9:11 am
Weatherbox knows how to use long words. AND punctuation.
I say we string him up.
Or worship him as our new god. Either/or, really.
April 24th, 2009 on 10:35 am
You’re not a cunt weatherbox. I didn’t honestly read through everything you said, but I still like you.
April 24th, 2009 on 12:54 pm
@GigerPunk
String him up.
And then worship him.
Don’t see why we have to choose one over the other.
April 24th, 2009 on 1:04 pm
Tiny penises aside, slagging off the gentleman in the picture wouldn’t make me feel better about myself. He’s at least 6 years younger than me, so I’m jealous because if I had that time to do again I’d try to avoid becoming someone who sits at a desk all day and REALLY ENJOYS UK:R and IT at lunchtimes.
However, I mainly agree with Weatherbox, but I didn’t understand this bit, anyone want a crack at deconstructing it?
“The quest for being ‘genuine’ is predicated for many upon an pious and antiquated notion of human distinction between ‘holy’ and ‘sinful’.”
My opener for ten is that I doubt many individuals of the UK:R readership refer to any kind of theological edifice in order to define themselves; so whilst this critism may apply to some I think they will mainly not be reading it here.
Also people don’t choose their own perceptual standards of beauty, they are conditioned into them. So, while I think that the mass media definition of beauty is a) terrifyingly uniform, b) cynically evolved to sell products and c) more misogynist then it’s ever been before, at the same time I like my naked women to be non-mingers and I’ll bet Weatherbox does too.
and… that’s it for Friday lunchtime. It’s been great, cheers.
April 24th, 2009 on 1:23 pm
Man alive. You said it yourself weatherbox; you are a pretentious winkle. I don't really care for your psycho-bullshit/philosophical/failed dissertation writing, mumblings. To pick through THAT, is akin to picking through my turd looking for nuts & corn. What you're suffering from is 'verbal diarrhoea.'
I'm neither egotistical nor religious. What motivates me is unique to me as it is to anyone. The fact that you're driven by your ego clearly shows you have low self-esteem. Do you relate to him because you feel the whole world's against you? As for the small-penis fixation… Well, I'm sure you can work it out. (no pun intended)
"Conclusion: He's just a man. In a picture. There's no need to be mean. Is that an unreasonable position to hold?" – Not at all. However; we all make judgements & appreciations everyday. When we choose to voice it, we decide the manner in which we do so. Just like 'you' chose the manner in which you voiced your 'observations.'
I don't think you're a cunt.
_
Shit, there goes the lunchtime wank window…
April 24th, 2009 on 2:40 pm
Well I know I have a big cock, so why am I here?
April 24th, 2009 on 3:16 pm
@Blarg, true – Guess it never stopped them with jesus, did it?
@Anon – I think when weatherbox said he was motiovated by his ego, I think he was meaning in the literal sense, meaning ‘as opposed to being motivated by his id’. Of course, I may be writing too much into it, but then the pretentious winkle angle has already been raised twice.
April 24th, 2009 on 4:22 pm
Weatherbox, I'm posting puerile nonsense on a website that revels in banality, nostalgia, resentment & misogyny. I do this not to direct malice at Mr Thorvaldsson or to elevate myself by denigrating him but rather as a wry admission of my own failures & frustrations. After all, if I was so great, I wouldn't be wasting my time here. I refer to this as Mycockisthelengthandgirthofaprizewinningmarrow syndrome. If you really want to analyse that then it is essentially an act of self flagellation & is therefore driven by self attention. But I don't want to analyse it. I just want to make nob jokes.
Conclusion: Relax & make some nob jokes. You'll feel better for it.
April 24th, 2009 on 4:50 pm
Any person who had anything to do with the creation of Hansoft should burn in a huge electrical fire. Slag him off all you want, it’ll never hurt him like pain caused to me and my colleagues by being made to use that piece of shit.
Yeah, more nob jokes.
April 24th, 2009 on 7:56 pm
Many words have been written but the question still remains would/ wouldn’t you?.
I would of done but all the big words ruined the moment for me. Which is probably for the best as my cock “is the length and girth of a prize winning marrow”. And would have probably hurt him quite alot
April 24th, 2009 on 11:18 pm
I’m driven by the knowledge that if I stop I won’t carry on.
April 25th, 2009 on 2:27 am
I concede because I can’t be arsed any more. We can say that you won if you like, or we can say it wasa draw or whatever. Actually, let’s just smooth over the fact it was a conflict in anyway and deny it ever happened, a bit like the holocaust which as anyone will tell you was a big lie. Let’s pretend we all spent the day in a meadow holding hands and talking about Ancient Greek philosophy.
As for nob jokes, I flipping love nob jokes. I’ve got nob jokes coming out of my ears. Well, in truth, I only have nobs coming out of my ears, because I’ve just been skullfucked in each eye by NATO soldiers and their genitalia ruptured my cranium from within, leaving through my ears. It was very sexy indeed.
I love nob jokes so much I even trained my nob to tell them. It’s kind of like self-referential, self-effacing comedy, like that comedian REM wrote a song about. Maybe I should contact REM and see if they would write a song about my nob? Actually, I don’t think I will because REM are shit.
April 25th, 2009 on 8:05 am
weatherbox can you link to a picture of yourself so I can point, laugh and make more posts?
April 26th, 2009 on 12:11 pm
but then the pretentious winkle angle has already been raised twice
—————————————————–
My friend can’t raise his winkle full stop. Pretentious or otherwise.
April 26th, 2009 on 9:19 pm
Here’s a picture of me, as requested:
http://www.laineygossip.com/pics/robert%20p%201%20apr08.jpg
Please feel free to belittle my shortcomings.
April 27th, 2009 on 12:18 pm
That’s some seriously big hair y’got right there…
… and that’s it. I haven’t the heart to go on.
April 27th, 2009 on 6:27 pm
Will.
April 28th, 2009 on 12:27 am
Glen said…
I’m driven by the knowledge that if I stop I won’t carry on.
Are you THE Glen!? Of UK:R fame?! If so, I’m messaging you and that makes me famous by osmosis!!!
May 1st, 2009 on 4:40 pm
Charlie from Busted called, he wants his massive fucking slug eyebrows back.
and I may have a small penis, but….err, damn, I have a small penis :(