MAN GETS INCREMENTALLY CLOSER TO SEGA VISION
Surely someone, somewhere, has manipulated the weak, arthritic grip of the machine well enough to win a SEGA Vision by now? Or are they chained up inside these idiot-catcher machines as a lure never to be won? The box could even be empty for all we know, as a clever homage to the SEGA of today.
“I was at Taybarns tonight (a semi-posh all you can eat buffet type place) when I spotted an actual SEGA Vision, all wrapped up and pretty, within one of those ‘Pile Up’ machines where you have to stack little blocks to win. I don’t even think you can even buy one anywhere (although there is one on eBay at the moment for £80) so naturally I scared the children next to me by jumping up and down, screaming ‘It’s SEGA VISION!’ and managed to ‘discreetly’ take a few photos.”
“I only had my camera phone, so apologies for the crappy quality. I’ll try and go back there some time and take better pictures.”
“I also saw a picture of Sonic outside a car license plate shop, I’ll promise to take a picture and send that next time” – Tru.
filed in Uncategorized on May.07, 2009
May 7th, 2009 on 12:19 pm
her names scotch egg monroe shes older and sheathed in spam
May 7th, 2009 on 12:37 pm
her names hard boiled egg monroe shes older and dizzy
May 7th, 2009 on 12:38 pm
“semi-posh all you can eat buffet type place”???
Pardon?
Just exactly how posh can anywhere offering ‘all-you-can-eat’ be?
I’d wager anywhere with food under hotlamps or that doesn’t require a basic level of gentlemanly attire and etiquette is little better than a soup kitchen and should thus be avoided as one would a leper, street urchin or PS3 owner.
I suspect this place doesn’t even meet ‘semi’ posh standards, whatever they may be.
May 7th, 2009 on 12:42 pm
Her names egg-monroe yaboat shes got posh parents
May 7th, 2009 on 12:53 pm
her names “Don’t you know who I am?!” shes loaded
May 7th, 2009 on 1:09 pm
@GigerPunk; I just pictured you wearing a top hat, monocle and holding a walking cane.
@Badben; You sir, are a genius.
May 7th, 2009 on 1:25 pm
her names egg monroe shes older
May 7th, 2009 on 1:32 pm
@Anonymous#4 – Not far off the mark, but it’s a bowler hat and pince-nez
May 7th, 2009 on 1:45 pm
@Anonymous#4 – I think you’re getting GigerPunk confused with Guy Incognito
May 7th, 2009 on 1:58 pm
An all you can eat buffet crossed with an amusement arcade. Classy!
May 7th, 2009 on 2:03 pm
@Spicy Mini; I believe you’re correct. The Simpson’s has somehow coloured my imagination.
@GigerPunk; Perhaps I was thinking of your doppelganger from across the pond.
May 7th, 2009 on 2:08 pm
@Spicy Mini – pretty similar moustache, actually.
May 7th, 2009 on 3:33 pm
her names older shes egg monroe
May 7th, 2009 on 4:00 pm
Has this egg monroe spawned outside of UK:R ?
(Idiot Toys doesn’t count. Never counted)
May 7th, 2009 on 5:58 pm
Has anybody ever won on these block stacking games? I frequently get so close to the top prize that the proximity to satisfaction incetivises repeated goes. It’s like ‘pulling out’ just at the point of ‘touchdown’ with a ‘woman’, whatever that all means (I read it in Deirdre’s Photo Casebook). For some reason I don’t have the confidence in humanity which would permit a casual walk down the street untainted by fear of being ‘shanked’, yet the concept of winning at the block stacking games seems comfortably viable. Do any other UK:R eraders have a similary skewed and freakish sense of what to expect in life?
May 7th, 2009 on 6:01 pm
@GigerPunk;
It was semi-posh because they actually cook the food in front of you! And if you want some beef, they’ll cut off a few slices for you as well! Plus it had SEGA VISION and that makes all the difference.
http://www.taybarns.com/
The machine was only 50p a go. Next time, I’ll go loaded with change :(
May 7th, 2009 on 6:12 pm
Presumably if you do win the top prize, your joy quickly turns to despair as the Sega Vision falls a good 3 to 4ft to its destruction?
May 7th, 2009 on 8:32 pm
@weatherbox;
For the past few months, I could swear I was the blessed one. My life, work, relationship… Even the Sun seemed pleased to shine upon my craggy face.
Then, – like the bricks of my 2 year old son’s over-ambitious building project – it all comes tumbling down. Right at the point where my happiness and contentment is nearing critical mass, I decide to read a bit of UK:R. The more I read, the more my faith in humanity becomes eroded bit by bit. I always picture in my mind that I’m in Cantina, [Mos Eisley on the planet Tatooine,] when reading the comments posted. But even in a bar frequented by the scum and villainy of the galaxy, there was hope.
A few weeks ago whilst out shopping with the missus, she commented on how I seemed distant and distracted. I told her I was fine, that I was just pondering some work related stuff. In actuality, I was scrutinising the packaging of an Easter egg and working up the courage to take a photo of the swirl pattern therein.
Someone once said that UK:R was the fleck on the arse-end of cyberspace. If that is so, then I sincerely hope it is not wiped into oblivion. Like the ancient Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang, perhaps UK:R brings balance to the universe. Or maybe it is what it is; a place of jaded, cynical and twisted views on gaming culture. Long may it continue.
May 7th, 2009 on 9:02 pm
Never mind, it could have been worse. You could have been looking at the Easter egg and contemplating making some sort of egg monroe joke.
May 8th, 2009 on 1:24 am
Anonymous, why don’t you and your ‘missus’ gather up Junior and return to the bespoke emporium, whereupon my advice is to sieze your chance of capturing a spiral to film, the currency of internet recognition, a token of prestige in the hearts of men who browse through jpegs of curtains and assorted upholstery in order to apprehend a feeling they once knew as hapiness, but which has now been replaced within them as one of confusion, existential bewilderment and erotic shame. If not you, then whom? If not now, then when? Anonymous, I believe it was some shit idiot who once sagaciously crooned this astute philosophical conjecture:
“And don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone?”
I believe the French would term your retrogressive spiural apprehension ‘L’esprit d’escalier’, or ‘the spirit of the stairway’. I suggest you return to your stairway and immortalise that spiral anonymous. Do it for your own peace of mind, do it for posterity, do it for mankind, Anonymous. We must all attend to what is good and just in this world, and if we chance upon a spiral, a static maelstrom before our eyes, we must tame it, and submitit to UK:R. This is who we are, what we live for. There is no cosmos, only spirals.
Go, Anonymous….go now and do this pious bidding, for though your quest is mediated via mere mortals, it has been ordained by the higher power, the master and overlord…lord Zorg.
Bless us, Lord Zorg. We are but lambs. Nourish us and we shall bring forth spirals.
I love thee oh Lord. I truly love thee.
May 8th, 2009 on 1:28 am
Also, does that mean you’ve seen egg monroe in the Mos Eisley cantina? Is it true what they say, that shes older?