NEW LOW OF THE WEEK
At least the photograph is livened up somewhat by the inclusion of the photographer’s fashionable canvas shoe. Look at how loose his laces are. The shoe would go flying if he attempted to kick a football.
“I was walking around the part of town that is known for street art and what have you when I came across this and almost shat a brick or five. I made everyone I was with come to a freaking halt and wait on my overly caffeinated and giddy self so I could take teh piczors you now have. Anyways hope you enjoy and all that lovely crap. Your friendly neighbourhood Sir Kittens” – Sir Kittens.
filed in Uncategorized on May.20, 2009
May 20th, 2009 on 12:27 pm
Sir Kittens? I nearly threw up. Then I saw ‘semen on the stomach and thighs of Hayden Panettiere’ from yesterday and everything was alright again.
May 20th, 2009 on 12:36 pm
I wish I was as edgy and randome as Sir Kittens and his crew of Starbucks quaffing youngsters.
May 20th, 2009 on 12:37 pm
her names egg monroe shes older
May 20th, 2009 on 12:40 pm
I have those very same stencils on my tits. Small world, eh?
May 20th, 2009 on 12:44 pm
Why’s Sonic facing off with Predator?
May 20th, 2009 on 12:54 pm
Shouldn’t there be two more pics where sir kittens jizzes all over the pavement and the obligatory close-up?
May 20th, 2009 on 1:04 pm
One of the readers has friends? I find this hard to believe. Our only friend is egg monroe, and she’s getting on a bit.
May 20th, 2009 on 1:32 pm
Also, everything about Sir Kittens is a bit Nathan Barley. Be gone with you, “Sir”.
May 20th, 2009 on 1:42 pm
And so continues the glorious trend of shoes in the corner of images of the floor that this blog will surely be remembered for.
May 20th, 2009 on 2:41 pm
This update would be enhanced if the stupid cunt with the loose shoes had taken a few more pictures, gradually getting closer and closer to the objects of out affection.
There is no consistency on this site. Excluding knowing that every update will be pathetic and every one will have an Egg Monroe comment underneath.
May 20th, 2009 on 2:52 pm
her names egg monroe shes older
May 20th, 2009 on 3:12 pm
Sir Kittens should keep his “piczors” to himself in future. The cunt.
May 20th, 2009 on 3:12 pm
his name is Robert Paulson
May 20th, 2009 on 3:22 pm
Ahh, but is he older?
May 20th, 2009 on 3:32 pm
With a mighty buzz the love eggs in Ulala’s vagina began to buzz. A sharp wave of pleasure stabbed upwards from her crotch. Ulala bit her lip to avoid moaning out loud. Damn that Pudding!
She feared that if she crisped her orange panties with femspoo, the crinkling noise would attract the enemy.
Against all her instincts, she reached down and attempted to remove the eggs. A warm feeling was spreading across her body, her arms were beginning to shake. Time was running out.
Her hands found the battery pack strapped to her leg. Unfortunately, her wrist brushed her crotch, slightly shifting the eggs within. They shifted to an even more pleasurable position, and a new wave of delights swept over her. Her fumbling fingers, coordination gone, slipped against the battery pack and activated the anti-tampering sensor Pudding had installed.
However, the torrents of juice now spilling from Ulala’s vagina shorted the hastily wired sensor and instead switched the eggs into overdrive.
Ulala’s eyes rolled back in her head, her knees buckled underneath her and she slumped to the floor with a gasping squeak.
May 20th, 2009 on 4:04 pm
femspoo? What the?
Ok, you can stop now.
May 20th, 2009 on 4:23 pm
hernameseggmonroeshesolder.jpg
http://bayimg.com/gApnHaAbo
May 20th, 2009 on 4:53 pm
His name is Robert Paulson
May 20th, 2009 on 5:06 pm
@Branch-me-do: WTF is this shit? There’s way too much action in there, not enough codec! Clear your desk.
May 20th, 2009 on 6:04 pm
her names egg monroe shes older
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/baepic/EggMonroe.jpg
May 20th, 2009 on 10:00 pm
I fucking LOVE egg monroe, long may she and her advancing age continue!
May 20th, 2009 on 10:26 pm
femspoo = fanny batter, obv.
May 20th, 2009 on 10:48 pm
his name is Robert Paulson
I know we aren’t suppose to talk about it, but Project Mayhem is gonna be awesome. Those Sony pricks won’t know what’s hit ’em.
May 21st, 2009 on 2:08 pm
Why not submit egg monroe images to the Facebook group, where Zardoz Jones will review them? (I fondly imagine).
If he’s not mixing with his mp3 decks or riding a tiny tricycle round Hoxton, of course.
May 21st, 2009 on 3:06 pm
thats made my fuckin day!! UK:R reaches new lows with every post!!
as brooker said “mankind is doomed!!”
WF: GnomeGore – wtf!!!!
May 21st, 2009 on 6:06 pm
I’m leaving UKR because of the egg monroe people. There is nothing in this world I despise more than stupid people. I can’t stand it any longer. If I could get away with it I would gladly murder stupid people and not feel the slightest pang of remorse. I’d chuckle about it on my deathbed.
Good bye.
May 21st, 2009 on 6:47 pm
his names raskolnikov monroe hes leaving
May 21st, 2009 on 7:14 pm
raskolnikov – ‘Goodbye’ is one word, stupid. You’d better top youself now. I know you’re reading this, lurking to see if you’ve got a reaction. You sad tart.
May 21st, 2009 on 7:34 pm
Anonymous – ‘youself’ isn’t a word, stupid. Just to be on the safe side, you’d better top yourself too.
May 21st, 2009 on 8:22 pm
Own up, who is Zardoz Jones?
wv: sylut – OUTER SPACE SLUT
May 21st, 2009 on 8:46 pm
This blog is too depressing. So instead of trying to bring some positive light to this piss poor cabal… Everyone should TOP themselves. Especially the spelling-nazis, the egg-twats and anyone who was born with ‘meat-n-two-veg’ between their legs and bitch-tits. Not to mention the walts of this world and Remfs.
Oh yeah, and PlayStation owners. Just to be on the safe side I’ll ‘top’ me self too. There, I think that covers it.
May 21st, 2009 on 9:20 pm
sonic is gay for knuckles
May 21st, 2009 on 11:10 pm
Seeing as we didn’t get an update today, can someone give us an egg monroe? Ta.
May 22nd, 2009 on 12:04 am
egg monroe is getting older every day…
May 22nd, 2009 on 1:57 am
She’s getting VERY old..
May 22nd, 2009 on 10:33 am
The internet’s the perfect reflection of a profoundly capitalist generation who think they can demand anything for free without having contributed jack shit. When you pay for something, you are given recourse to certain services, and having earned the money through labour you can rightfully demand a level of quality, having contributed to the system in your own way. On the internet, you are given entertainment, news, education and pretty much anything else you can think of for FREE. That’s right, YOU PAY NOTHING. You can be a succesful, happy and educated person for the small price of connection fee, and yet you all still whinge like little fucking babies and demand more and more and MORE. If you don’t like the site then just fuck off. It’s people like you who ruin it for everybody. Criticism’s okay if it’s objective and helpful, but some of you lot seem to be ungrateful cunts who think they can demand what they like. Sorry to ‘get all serious on your asses’ but some of you are a fucking joke. ENJOY THE INTERNET YOU COCKING INGRATES. CHEER UP YOU MISERABLE, HATE-FILLED CUNTS.
May 22nd, 2009 on 10:42 am
Oh yeah, and leave Sir Kittens alone for fuck’s sake! He’s just some kid who posted a picture, and you’re acting like total wankers about it because of your own probably innacurate forecast of his life. You’re also acting like it’s affected you in some massive way, and if that’s the case, you need to rearrange your brain so that it is occupied by things that actually matter in any real way. Either that, or die alone with your genitalia glued to your stomach with dried semen and cat shit and McDonald’s wrappers up to your ankles.
May 22nd, 2009 on 10:54 am
Weatherbox, is that you? Why are you posting anonymously?
Whether (no pun intended) it’s you or not, I completely agree. Stop being whinging (the Aussies are having a field day) hateful cunts. You, erm.. cunts.
My names Anonymous, and I totally endorse his message.
May 22nd, 2009 on 11:54 am
Sir Kittens is a girly man faggot and needs to be tied up in sack with some bricks and thrown into a river. Seriously, only a total gayer or a girl would have such a silly internet name.
May 22nd, 2009 on 12:34 pm
But but but now I’m really confused. This site is FOR hate filled cunts, isn’t it? That’s the whole point. The people who (somehow) can be bothered to post saying they don’t like the site are the other ones; THEY’RE the ones who pay for stuff and contribute to society by eating burgers and downloading from itunes and tweeting each other and sharing apps on their iphones and shooting each other in the face on Resistance 2 and thinking that shirts are worth more than £15 max and caring about their jobs and aspiring to own nice cars and stuff like that. This site is for the other sort, i.e. the hate filled cunt. I like this site, I’m a cunt, and I hate you. I hate you all, you other cunts and non-cunts. UK:R rules! Rules what I don’t know – the bottom of the barrel perhaps. I’d ju ohfuckit I’m proper bored now
May 22nd, 2009 on 1:07 pm
Does the hate cancel out when a hate filled cunt meets a hate filled dick? Or do they merge into one giant hate filled fucker?
May 22nd, 2009 on 1:21 pm
Robert Paulson has made an appearance has he? This place is becoming meme city centre. Has 4Chan linked to it recently or something? Oh you crazy internet kids!
@anonymous – no, that isn’t me although I agree wholeheartedly with the message. ‘Rock on motherfuck’ etc. That said, I’m not demanding new material, but I am encouraging it. I haven’t looked at vaguely nostalgic upholstery for far too long now, Zorg. Help us.
May 22nd, 2009 on 1:47 pm
ZORG DROP TROU AND JIZZ INTO OUR HUNGRY MOUTHS OR WE’RE ALL LEAVING YOUR STUPID FUCKING WEBSITE BECAUSE WE FIND THE NEW ENTERTAINMENT YOU PROVIDE US FOR FREE TO BE SLIGHTLY LESS ENTERTAINING THAN THE MANY YEARS OF FREE ENTERTAINMENT YOU’VE PREVIOUSLY PROVIDED
ALSO HER NAMES EGG MONROE SHES OLDER
May 22nd, 2009 on 1:58 pm
I must admit I agree almost entirely with the “Anonymous” who had the rant a few comments up the page.
However, I’d have just a bit more respect if he/she/egg bothered to post under their regular username, rather than hiding behind the Anonymous facade – another cancer of the internet world.
May 22nd, 2009 on 2:41 pm
Please update UK:R! Just look at what happens in the comments when nothing new is posted on the front page…
If you need material:
Google images for sega.
Go to page 3.
Outrun 2 related image with LARGE BREASTED women:
http://www.skegnesslaserquest.com/ATEI/Sega%20Girls%20and%20Outrun%20SP.JPG
P.S. I went to Skegness Laser Quest in about ’91
May 22nd, 2009 on 2:44 pm
Don’t think much of the one of the left, but I’d bang the shit out of the blonde one.
Well, less “bang the shit out of” and more “nervously talk to.”
Well, less “nervously talk to” and more “don’t make eye contact as I walk past and hope I can accurately remember how she looks for the tearful tugjob when I get home”
May 22nd, 2009 on 2:56 pm
zorg plz fill my bot with winky snot and cram my gob with yr manly throb rub my pole til my balls go cold and work my nips til my helmet drips his names zorg hes teh hero of this piece hes maybe older ftw 4@VA masdfmksghcmakjg JHJJJJJJ
May 22nd, 2009 on 3:07 pm
Her name is frankly unimportant as she’s definitely older and the implants now look terrifying.
May 22nd, 2009 on 3:23 pm
blimey. this week’s new low of the week has triggerd a UKR meltdown.
the end is nigh
May 22nd, 2009 on 4:28 pm
Can I draw your attention to the title of the update: “NEW LOW OF THE WEEK.” The man can only do so much with what he’s got. Zorg himself acknowledges the fact that this update isn’t exactly gonna set the interweb on fire. Would you rather there was no update at all? Give the guy a freakin break!
I too agree entirely with Anon’s rant earlier. I think most of you are just taking your pent-up anger and frustration out (unfairly) on Sir Kittens. He should be applauded for contributing to this site. Instead of waving your torches and pitch-forks, why don’t you take a long hard look at yourself. Should you find something you don’t like then for your sake, do something about it. There’s no need to project your own feeling of inadequacies onto someone who thought he’d share something with like-minded people.
As for our good Zorg.. In all the years he’s worked in this industry, I’m sure he has seen it and heard it all before and no doubt have a pile of t-shirts. He will have developed a very thick skin. But eventually all the negativity will begin to permeate.
I still think lack of material equates to lack of update. Perhaps he’s just taking a long Bank Holiday weekend break; And we should all follow his example by logging off and going outside to explore the real world.
So whatever you’re doing and wherever you may be, I wish you all well.
May 22nd, 2009 on 5:11 pm
his names egg white hes songwriter of the year
May 22nd, 2009 on 8:09 pm
I blame the Jews for all of this.
May 22nd, 2009 on 10:23 pm
@Anonymous:
Blaming the Jews is so passé.
I blame the cripples.
May 22nd, 2009 on 10:52 pm
http://www.ukresistance.co.uk/emp11.html
Can we bring this back, please?
May 22nd, 2009 on 10:56 pm
Couldn’t agree more.
It must have been at least a year since we last saw an Emily Booth update. This just will not do, Zorg!
May 23rd, 2009 on 12:07 am
My mind just cracked following the line of her thigh right up her flat tummy.
May 23rd, 2009 on 3:09 pm
Let’s talk about Shenmue.
May 23rd, 2009 on 3:53 pm
Shenmue is dead, what is there to talk about?
Let’s talk some more about how “shit” or “shit but free so stop complaining” UK:R is these days.
May 23rd, 2009 on 4:58 pm
Do you know where sailors hang out?
May 23rd, 2009 on 5:04 pm
If you don’t understand why shit things are good then you don’t understand irony, ergo you are American. In light of this, I conclude that all people who don’t like UK:R (and incidentally due to some kind of culturally specific dictate thing they demand what the fuck they like) are American. I don’t have a problem with Americans, just Americans abroad. UK:R is abroad.
May 23rd, 2009 on 5:12 pm
You know, I had to take a good long hard look at myself after reading some of the quite literally world-view-shaking commentary above on this of all sites, a Sega fan site. It’s opened all 3 of my eyes to everything wrong with my life.
Christ I’ve been so stupid – and what’s worse, I’ve been capitalist, too. For Cliff’s sake, I should stop cocking going on about the internet being free AND rubbish at the same time and switch off my Maynard Keynes themed LCD monitor, go into the wonderful Marxist outside and do something less boring instead like re-collectivising the Ukraine.
So I’m going out now to beat Sir Kittens (or egg monroe, it’s all the same) to a bloody pulp with a framed picture of Mrs Thatcher wrapped up in a post-ironic Pacman courier bag. Two victories for the proletariat for the price of one (in as much as price has any meaning, except as part of the continuous dialectic struggle).
May 23rd, 2009 on 7:25 pm
Allan, Dialectics can’t break bricks. Furthermore I very much doubt a framed picture of the old iron lady can secure any degree of victory for the undermined masses. I suggest you update your arsenal of weaponry against the avaricious state-subsidised scumdogs. Perhaps a spiral or two could bring equality to this land? It never hurts to throw in a spiral or two imho.
May 23rd, 2009 on 11:16 pm
Her names Roberta Pedon shes older but knockers like that are timeless
May 24th, 2009 on 1:17 am
Badben, well said I hate you and I hope you hate me too. FUCK YOU ALL.
May 24th, 2009 on 2:38 am
Anonymous said…
Please update UK:R! Just look at what happens in the comments when nothing new is posted on the front page…
If you need material:
Google images for sega.
Go to page 3.
Outrun 2 related image with LARGE BREASTED women:
http://www.skegnesslaserquest.com/ATEI/Sega%20Girls%20and%20Outrun%20SP.JPG
——————–
I’ll just pretend that was the article. Good article btw.
May 24th, 2009 on 8:45 pm
The one on the left looks a bit like Danni Minogue.
May 24th, 2009 on 11:53 pm
her names egg monroe shes older
May 25th, 2009 on 1:16 am
I’m hotlinking this image as the site it’s on is full of annoying embedded music players and shit.
Jet Set Radio’s Gum
May 25th, 2009 on 1:53 am
Nobody make another comment, we’ve just reached 69 comments.
May 25th, 2009 on 2:47 am
Nice work posting #70 then Floppy.
May 25th, 2009 on 9:36 am
It looks like it says ‘ACIDBUM’ at the bottom of the picture. Which may be intentional – from the awkward, pained look on her Gum’s face and the way she’s clutching her stomach, it is quite likely she’s experiencing great discomfort ‘down there’ resulting from a failed suicide attempt by ingesting diluted battery acid. Understandable, given shame of having a new, terrible Sonic game released every few years, while Smilebit’s joyful masterpiece has been all but forgotten.
To summarise: Wouldn’t. Cube is the girl for me.
May 25th, 2009 on 11:07 am
See, this is what happens when comment boards start eating themselves, then vomiting, then eating the vomit back up and licking their vomit covered chops.
May 25th, 2009 on 6:46 pm
I reckon we can make it 100 non-vomit comments. That’ll teach Zorg not to update!
I offer for your amusement and perusement: http://www.sonicthehedgefund.com/
http://www.molecular-cancer.com/content/8/1/12
http://www.christianmarcuslyons.com/Canines2.html (Have fun spotting the tenuous SEGA link!)
May 25th, 2009 on 8:06 pm
has egg monroe killed zorg?
May 25th, 2009 on 10:46 pm
Reihn: Fuck yeah, Cube was always the fittest. Gum looked like Avril Lavigne with PMS, and Mew had that terrible pudding bowl straight fringe.
May 26th, 2009 on 12:18 am
egg monroe has frankly seen better days…
May 26th, 2009 on 3:27 am
so has your mum…
May 26th, 2009 on 5:09 am
Cube was hot. I would totally fuck Cube if she’d let me. Can you ask her for me? Don’t make it too obvious.
May 26th, 2009 on 7:20 am
She’d say yes, but only if Combo can video tape it for her weblog. Cube’s into some freaky shit, bless her.
May 26th, 2009 on 7:38 am
You’re a real pal Reihn. This has just made my week. Do you think I should bring flowers or would she let me take her up the arse without them? I mean, I don’t want to be too forward or anything, but the impression I’m getting is that I could probably get away without them. Which would be great for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be cheap, I’m just never sure how to word it in the card.
May 26th, 2009 on 7:58 am
Just give her a rosebud…
May 26th, 2009 on 8:05 am
I’m here to help!
Flowers are a good idea (sorry). Don’t worry about a card – despite the honesty of the statement, writing “Here, I hope you like the gerbera bouquet, please will you take it in the back passage for me?” in blue byro never seems to get a lady onside. Not even one who’s wearing a black crop top.
Failing flowers, bring any spray cans you’ve got lying around – she doesn’t seem to be able to carry many at once and is always running out just as Captain Onishima comes charging up, intent on handcuffing and ‘interrogating’ her in a windowless cell.
The perv.
May 26th, 2009 on 8:09 am
Also, I don’t think that Sonic The Hedge Fund site is real!
I was very excited about SEGA endorsed investment opportunities, however when I tried to log in by typing in my Visa number / expiry date, and using the verification code as the password, but it didn’t work.
It must be a fake!