THE RICHARD JACQUES EFFECT EXPLAINED
Here’s how it works.

Hope that clears it up. The figure of “35” is a rough estimate and not based on actual webmaster age.
filed in Uncategorized on May.29, 2009
Here’s how it works.
Hope that clears it up. The figure of “35” is a rough estimate and not based on actual webmaster age.
filed in Uncategorized on May.29, 2009
THIS IS HOW IT ALWAYS ENDS
May 29th, 2009 on 11:41 am
his names cmdr zorg hes older
(sorry)
May 29th, 2009 on 11:52 am
This theory definitely worked for Jet Set Radio.
May 29th, 2009 on 11:52 am
Great, Sonic Drift 3. The GHZ stage looks also terribly lame, it’s a random generic island with some chequerboard patterns applies to some surfaces and a loop or two. Where are the funky geometric flowers, the flat, pseudo-3D palm trees and the pixellated backgrounds? Oh wait, I forgot Sonic stopped being surreal and abstract after S1, SCD and KC.
RICHARD MUSIC MAY MAKE UP FOR IT THOUGH
That said, why no Sonic R 2? :(
May 29th, 2009 on 11:56 am
God, I love you sometimes.
But word of this will never leave the comments thread.
May 29th, 2009 on 12:01 pm
It’s funny because it’s so true. Genius.
May 29th, 2009 on 12:09 pm
‘her names egg monroe shes older’
What does this mean?
And why is it missing two apostrophes?
May 29th, 2009 on 12:21 pm
^ It’s not missing to apostrophes you bell-end. There’s one at the beginning and end of that eggshit. Nice try though, retard.
May 29th, 2009 on 12:23 pm
^ *two*
May 29th, 2009 on 1:10 pm
AWESOME NEWS LORD ZORG
I recon after seen you post yesterday I been wanking so hard and doing the switching think (as you say)
I could not watch the trailer but today after watching 13245 times I can happy say
That’s what we need a motorstorm2 killer
wait, er..
May 29th, 2009 on 1:11 pm
her names egg monroe shes older
May 29th, 2009 on 1:11 pm
eggmonroe.com
May 29th, 2009 on 1:16 pm
Dear Egg Monroe Poster,
You know how tedious all the spiral updates were on UKR?
Egg Monroe is now more tiresome than that.
You really need to get a new joke.
May 29th, 2009 on 1:20 pm
her names egg monroe shes older
May 29th, 2009 on 1:21 pm
or a new life would help
May 29th, 2009 on 1:21 pm
The spiral updates are GREAT. The egg monroe thing is funny occasionally.
May 29th, 2009 on 1:40 pm
More of this, please.
May 29th, 2009 on 1:48 pm
The spirals are fantastic. The eggshite was once funny many moons ago. And when parodied in a relevant manner, ie:
“Anonymous said…
his names cmdr zorg hes older
(sorry)” – can be funny.
But let’s face it; this retarded virgin loser has no life and being a retarded cunt is all he’s got. Just ignore him.
May 29th, 2009 on 1:57 pm
37? Old. I thought only hip young twenty-somethings read UKR
May 29th, 2009 on 2:02 pm
nan tells of brie snazzy whos gone to merry tavern
May 29th, 2009 on 2:18 pm
nan tells of brie snazzy whos gone to merry tavern
just isnt funny. I know we have all been ignoring on purpose but it looks like little Billy is determined to create a new catchphrase. Reminds me of being 14 again and thinking Harry Enfield was the pinnacle of comedy. Sorry little Billy, it isnt funny and wont suddenly become funny. I wont mention again. As Wilde said, “the only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about.”
eggmonroe on the other hand is hilarious.
May 29th, 2009 on 2:21 pm
Whats the last bit of the sentence???
‘No woman would think about letting’…..
May 29th, 2009 on 2:26 pm
http://ukpforum.com – the secret of egg monroe revealed.
May 29th, 2009 on 2:27 pm
Christ. I wondered when some cunt would qoute Oscar Wilde. It just wasn’t the one I thought would be qouted. Fuck off Ulick McGee you pretentious cunt.
May 29th, 2009 on 2:32 pm
Shaun M the man-faggot said…
@anon
Fuck off you spaz. UKP is for sad lonely man-faggots who wank away their pathetic lives whilst discussing ‘issues’ that only a sexually frustrated 15 yr old would find perplexing or amusing. Go have a look in Shitbox – it’s exactly what it says on the box.
^ ’nuff said.
May 29th, 2009 on 2:34 pm
Yeah but shitbox is where the gays hang out.
May 29th, 2009 on 2:43 pm
… no woman would ever think about letting…
… me spunk on her tits while she wears a Richard Jacques mask and I’m dressed as Sarah from Virtua Fighter.
WV: semniz- a combination of semen and jizz for that special someone who does Sega music
May 29th, 2009 on 2:44 pm
Zoiks anon. I may be pretentious but I’m not a cunt. Also I am not i) a man faggot, ii) 15 iii) egg monroe iv) zorg v)anonymous
I do however have an interest in GAMES. Is this new racer going to be as good/bad as Superstar Tennis thats what I want to know.
May 29th, 2009 on 3:07 pm
My humble apologies Ulick McGee. However, I never called you a man faggot, 15 (?), egg monroe, Zorg (wtf) or anonymous. I am sorry for calling you a cunt.
“I do however have an interest in GAMES. Is this new racer going to be as good/bad as Superstar Tennis thats what I want to know.”
The answers you seek are to be found elsewhere. How about try asking it here if you *really* want to know.
May 29th, 2009 on 3:15 pm
Anon, perhaps the answers I seek are in another castle.
May 29th, 2009 on 4:30 pm
Ulick McGee, more like Ulick hairy shemale testicles. GTFO with your man-faggot Mario quotes. Go give Toad a blow job you sick fucking fuck. Princess Peach is a strung out old whore who takes it up the arse from italian plumbers with out of fashion facial hair and freaky dinosaurs, Ulala is a much finer lady and she doesn’t live in old castles which are probably as dusty as your mothers minge.
May 29th, 2009 on 6:21 pm
Fuck me you’re old. Probably explains your mad photoshopping skills.
Don’t worry though, I’m old too. 26.
May 29th, 2009 on 6:22 pm
Jennifer Ballsacz, you need to practise your random vulgarity because that was just shit.
The true Richard Jacques effect would have a smiley face with an expression of pain and blood squirting out of its ears. Or where its ears would be.
Hopefully they allow custom soundtracks.
I wonder if his wife/sister will be singing on it?
May 29th, 2009 on 11:07 pm
Stop discussing the shitbox like you are welcome there pricks.
May 30th, 2009 on 6:14 am
^ Fuck off you sad wanker. You wouldn’t be welcome on an island full of lepers.
May 30th, 2009 on 6:41 am
^ You sad wanker. You wouldn’t be welcome on an island full of lepers.
May 30th, 2009 on 4:01 pm
When that old queen and master of the vengeful riposte is invoked you know somebody really has sand in their arsehole. Just give up trying to defeat the trolls and spammers already. You’re just creating highly nutritious victuals for an ‘epic lulfest’ by pissing and moaning and stewing like a little bitch and you must know that. If the internet has emphatically informed you of one thing a million times, it’s that you won’t win because your antagonisers have chosen to eschew even the possibility of any reasonable debate. There’ll be no reasoning only this tiresome exchange of antagoniser/antagonised. Just give it up. Laissez faire. C’est la vie. Je t’aime; moi non plus. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?
I suggest you learn to bit your lip if that tenacious little dangleberry Egg Monroe is bothering you.
May 30th, 2009 on 6:45 pm
Erm, I heard there’s a bar where sailors hang out..but I don’t know the place because I’ve never wanted to go to such a bar, ya know?
It’s best to stick to you regular drinking hole….IF you know what I mean.
May 30th, 2009 on 6:47 pm
Erm, I heard there’s a bar where sailors hang out..but I don’t know the place because I’ve never wanted to go to such a bar, ya know?
It’s best to stick to you regular drinking hole….IF you know what I mean.
May 30th, 2009 on 6:48 pm
Erm, I heard there’s a bar where sailors hang out..but I don’t know the place because I’ve never wanted to go to such a bar, ya know?
It’s best to stick to you regular drinking hole….IF you know what I mean.
May 30th, 2009 on 6:48 pm
Erm, I heard there’s a bar where sailors hang out..but I don’t know the place because I’ve never wanted to go to such a bar, ya know?
It’s best to stick to you regular drinking hole….IF you know what I mean.
May 30th, 2009 on 7:22 pm
Erm, I heard there’s a bar where sailors hang out..but I don’t know the place because I’ve never wanted to go to such a bar, ya know?
It’s best to stick to you regular drinking hole….IF you know what I mean.
May 30th, 2009 on 10:56 pm
If you don’t smile and want to break out the glowsticks as soon as you hear the opening bars to Super Sonic Racing. You have no soul.
NO SOUL.
May 31st, 2009 on 12:50 pm
nan tells of brie snazzy whos gone to merry tavern
May 31st, 2009 on 7:57 pm
Zorg, for the love of UK:R, remove anonymous commenting. Although I enjoy your posts (some of the time) what makes the site for me most of all is the comments left by the hardcore, longtime readers.
I tend to never comment myself because I couldn’t keep up with the wit and filth. I feel I can comment now though as all the anons have dropped the bar sufficiently.
May 31st, 2009 on 9:52 pm
Hey whats happening with Idiot Toys?
May 31st, 2009 on 11:08 pm
Sigh. What happened to blue skies and happy days? Sigh.
May 31st, 2009 on 11:18 pm
Erm, what’s happened to Idiot Toys? It’s broke.
June 1st, 2009 on 3:59 am
What happened to Idiot Toys?
June 1st, 2009 on 8:09 am
Hey why can’t I comment?
And what happened to Idiot Toys?
June 1st, 2009 on 9:18 am
God how I WISH I was welcome on shitbox. Its SO unfair.
June 1st, 2009 on 9:22 am
God how I WISH I was welcome on the shitbox. Its SO unfair.
June 1st, 2009 on 3:24 pm
Why is everybody repeating themselves?
June 1st, 2009 on 3:24 pm
Why is everybody repeating themselves?
June 1st, 2009 on 9:39 pm
It’s because I’m older, for egg’s sake.
September 8th, 2009 on 2:44 pm
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