NINTENDO WINNING CRITICAL LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY BATTLE
It had the dullest conference, the weakest games and spent most of its E3 press event talking about things already out, previously announced or just rubbish. But! Nintendo has seized the LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY initiative and is therefore winning at E3.

Sadly, every photo of female humans we’ve uploaded recently has had the same tragic turn of events.
Photo of female goes up > comments left calling her a fat cunt who needs her ears raping > acquaintances of female complain > we buckle under pressure and start having to delete things.
Hopefully this cow lives far enough away that her friends won’t see this and therefore won’t complain.
We’d also like to apologise to Games Press for downloading all these assets at this critical time for internet servers. And to SEGA for forgetting to do anything about Virtua Tennis.
Let’s just apologise to everyone about everything. Here’s a separate page that contains the now-standard UKR apology. If you get offended or upset in future, simply load up this page.
That’s the Nyko Dog Case for the Wii Remote, as was rumoured by several industry insiders on their Twitter feeds.
Depressing. Too depressing to even be in the running as the Last UKR Update Ever. We couldn’t go out like this.
filed in Uncategorized on Jun.04, 2009
June 4th, 2009 on 12:49 pm
How long can this run of extraordinary form continue, Zorg? You must've had a go on the electrodes yourself, whilst EVER-LAST was climbing off the slab.
June 4th, 2009 on 12:55 pm
She's a fat cunt who needs her ears raping.
June 4th, 2009 on 1:16 pm
her names egg monroe shes older
June 4th, 2009 on 1:30 pm
Ah, thats why the VT updates have only lasted about 2 hours each. Now it makes more sense. :)
June 4th, 2009 on 2:05 pm
Ok, here goes…
Would, would, wouldn't, wouldn't, would, wouldn't, wouldn't.
wv: calash – Clash tribute band.
June 4th, 2009 on 2:32 pm
nan tells of brie snazzy whos gone to merry tavern
June 4th, 2009 on 4:03 pm
her names egg monroe she's a fat cunt who needs her ears raping
June 4th, 2009 on 4:05 pm
UK:R must NEVER end, Zorg! I'll pay your damn wages or buy the site from its wicked owners or whatever it takes. I know any one of this band of unsociable ragamuffins who insult you on here every day would do the same.
June 4th, 2009 on 5:01 pm
The game's industry is in a slump which it will never come out of, like the movie industry. Nintendo is at the bottom of the slump, contentedly licking its own bollocks while everyone else looks on in disgust. What a pile of fucking shit. Even Mario Galaxy 2 is a load of wank. The same fucking game again using the exact same assets! I didn't even bother to finish the first one and then sold the Wii in a fit of ennui.
To make a new Metroid they had to hire Tecmo of all fucking people! I don't think they have ever made a good game. And don't go telling me Ninja Gaiden is good, not even the nes games were good. Just because Americans in their 30s keep telling you they were great doesn't make it a fact. I mean, they like Mega Man for fuck's sake.
June 4th, 2009 on 10:43 pm
Nintendo is so s*** these days it's not even funny..
June 5th, 2009 on 3:44 am
"It had the dullest conference, the weakest games"
What. Looks like somebody didn't have the pleasure of sitting through Ubisoft's circus sideshow on monday.
June 5th, 2009 on 3:51 am
I wonder where they get the clothes for their ads… do people actually dress like this?
June 5th, 2009 on 4:43 am
Only after Apple takes over the world, although then they may have to invent special eye protection to keep their poor needy populace from going BLIND from the endless sea of white.
Then again, logistics are a bitch and gotta find out if said eye protection can be "seamlessly" shoehorned with DRM somehow! Priorites!
/totally not raging sarcasm
June 5th, 2009 on 5:41 am
You can have a mii for your dog?
June 5th, 2009 on 8:32 am
Too bad the big size photo with the dog is missing. (Why the 404 page is in spanish ?°__O)
Ok, i'm going to load the standard UKR apology page.
June 5th, 2009 on 10:41 am
@Tombola O'Rourke
Agreed, i hate what they seem to be doing to Metroid.
June 5th, 2009 on 10:47 am
I loaded this page ( http://www.ukresistance.co.uk/2004/06/we-are-very-sorry-about-that-incident.html ) and UK:R apologised for any vitriol focused towards Sony and the PS3… You guys going soft?!
June 5th, 2009 on 11:03 am
Halverde (who is really Zardoz Jones) writes:
> I know any one of this band of unsociable ragamuffins who
> insult you on here every day would do the same.
I wouldn't. I'm a hardcore Dawkins/Darwin survival of the fittest zealot. If UKR dies and egg monroe takes over the world – so be it, egg monroe was the fittest.
(though, strictly speaking, because shes older, her chances of procreating and her particular eggy flavour of DNA making it to the next generation are much reduced)
June 5th, 2009 on 12:04 pm
I have 20 pence and a used tissue in my pocket if you're taking donations. Will that be enough to save the site?
June 5th, 2009 on 12:13 pm
I humbly apologies for the 'foo foo touching, back of the bus, 10p for a quick wiggle' comments on the previous thread and any offence it may have caused to that fat, pasty attention whore in the pink wig who needs a damn good ear-raping.
June 5th, 2009 on 3:23 pm
I am NOT Zardoz Jones! I am the other one with Z in his name!
September 8th, 2009 on 2:36 pm
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