OH JESUS NO, THERE HAS BEEN ANOTHER CHANGE AROUND HERE
You now have to register a custom UKR user name in order to leave a comment calling people you don’t know child-eating cunts.
Then, when you call someone a child-eating cunt, you can be easily and painlessly deleted from history as if you never even existed and all the little children will come back to life. Look! They’re playing by the swings and are all happy! It was just a dream. You’d never consciously do something that bad after all.
It will therefore be nicer around here ‘going forward’. This is because more people read the internet nowadays and we have to be more careful. Blame Stephen Fry.
So that’s how it has to be from now on, thanks to the efforts of a small number of collaborators who were spreading evil propaganda on behalf of the enemy.
ABOUT THE MINOR CHANGES
The site’s now “powered” by WordPress.
It took ages to do. Many combat hours were wasted on this pointless administrative task.
You can now bagsie your own UKR username FOR EVER.
So don’t rush into it. Think it through. You may well want to be called “Tails4Eva” now, but will you still want to be called “Tails4Eva” 15 years from now when you are married and a senior IT technician working for British Telecom?
You probably won’t. We regret being “Commander Zorg” and that’s nothing like as bad as “Tails4Eva”.
Have fun.
Business will, as ever, proceed until one of us dies.
The RSS thing is probably broken again.
filed in IN-STORE MESSAGEBOARD on Jun.23, 2009
June 23rd, 2009 on 11:45 pm
*Washes hands and goes back to pretending to be a businessman*
June 23rd, 2009 on 11:46 pm
her names eg – oh, sod it. Good idea to enforce logons (lowgons, loggons?), but I do miss those halcyon days of anonymity when I could type any old abuse without my wife knowing it was me.
June 23rd, 2009 on 11:48 pm
Its still thinking…
June 23rd, 2009 on 11:48 pm
Only I will know it’s you. Shouldn’t you be in bed?
June 23rd, 2009 on 11:55 pm
Hang on, why are you M. Zorg rather than C. Zorg. Is it short for ‘Monsieur’? Are you expanding into France. Euroresistance isn’t as snappy, y’know.
June 23rd, 2009 on 11:58 pm
Here are the two question marks missing from my previous post: ?? Now I’m going to drive to the Orkneys and throw myself into the mouth of a killer whale for bothering to post three times.
June 24th, 2009 on 12:53 am
Tonight Matthew, I will be Weatherbox again. This time my name will be capitalised.
June 24th, 2009 on 1:12 am
Best.Name.Ever.
June 24th, 2009 on 1:20 am
@abovemeisacunt: Not the best name ever, since you should have made shrewd use of caps, i.e. AboveMeIsACunt. No cigar I’m afraid.
June 24th, 2009 on 1:43 am
It falls to me to be plain, unobtrusive and probably never post a comment again.
June 24th, 2009 on 1:47 am
Yah! :)
June 24th, 2009 on 2:44 am
Nice commander
Hopefully this place will return back to its deprived, sony hating, sega loving, bunch of miserable bastards, normality that I’d grown to love.
UKR 4 live yo!
Ghetto hugs all round
June 24th, 2009 on 3:14 am
“Business will, as ever, proceed until one of us dies.” – First all those unsettling ‘possible last post ever’ remarks, and now an apparent suicide threat. Well, if you go, I’m going with you.
June 24th, 2009 on 4:11 am
Can I go too? Maybe we can turn this into some sort of suicide pact. Or perhaps a crack suicide squad: target Sony HQ
June 24th, 2009 on 5:15 am
Agreed.
June 24th, 2009 on 6:23 am
This sucks.
June 24th, 2009 on 6:35 am
Yeay! More passwords to remember!
June 24th, 2009 on 6:54 am
Yes! My racist comments and weird egg thing attack finally worked.
To be honest the egg thing was Hideo Kojima’s idea. I said “You stupid, pretentious freak-sack, what the hell is that supposed to do?” Hideo just looked at me with that odd, ugly blank expression he has; (well, apart from that permanant, slightly smug smirk he has) and said “Kaz, Kaz, Kaz, it’s all part of a much bigger plan, you must be patient, it’s just like your ten year plan” I nearly punched him in the face. Anyway, glad I didn’t – it worked!
SO, enjoy your new restrictions- Ha ha ha. Banzai Sony!
June 24th, 2009 on 7:39 am
Registered. Maybe I’ll post more, now that I feel more of a part of UK:R? Look out ladies!
June 24th, 2009 on 8:29 am
Yay!! I’m registered! Let the posting of comments commence (avoiding such phrases as child-eating cunt naturally)
June 24th, 2009 on 8:50 am
Registering?
Wordpress?
I’ve just had to learn something new.
Nobody needs to be going round doing that.
Although, if it stops all those knob-heads from posting shit it’ll be worth it.
June 24th, 2009 on 8:59 am
I’ll stick with Badben.
It’s not good but I’ve remained loyal to it since I had to come up with a name on Goldeneye and picked the first thing that came into my head. How many years ago? Good grief…
I’ll probably pick a new one when I have to go online to beat everyone at GT5.
June 24th, 2009 on 9:11 am
It’s so nice to see everyone “rallying round” like this.
I can see a time in the future when even women aren’t afraid to read UKR unaccompanied.
June 24th, 2009 on 9:22 am
Women? Here?!?! Goodness grief I do hope not
June 24th, 2009 on 9:22 am
Women reading UKR by themselves? Never going to happen.
June 24th, 2009 on 9:30 am
You did good, Zorg. The fonts are much better with WordPress and it’s thankfully not owned by Google. I hated having to log into Gmail to post a comment. My life is now 0.001 per cent better because of this. I have a ‘boner’.
@abovemeisacunt: it’s alright, but what if you’re the first poster? That means your name is an affront to the right reverend Zorg, and brizzly, ritualistic murder will follow swiftly.
June 24th, 2009 on 9:31 am
Read brizzly as grizzly.
June 24th, 2009 on 10:06 am
So, is this now going to be a ‘proper’ gaming site, with gaming news and articles and obscure ‘lifestyle’ posts and hordes of feckless retards commenting utter bollocks on every post?
Y’know, like Kotaku?
Or is it going to be more like we’re we’re used to?
I.e. mainly gaming ‘olds’ rather than ‘news’ and disturbing insights into the other few reader’s psyches? And whether they ‘would’ a particular booth-babe or not?
But with less egg monroe, obviously.
(Hmmm, could do with a preview-before-post option, I don’t like this new ‘leave comment’ button – I like having it display what I’ve typed slightly differently before I post, to save me actually scrolling back through and doublechecking proeprly…)
And I assume we’ll not be having any more word verification ‘fun’ anymore, too?
I shall make one up myself then.
wv = brizzly = Rather like Bristol.
June 24th, 2009 on 10:45 am
Up, Down, Left, Right is the cheat code for Anonymous in WordPress.
Also, hello more restrictive UK:R. I think I posted some interesting things as an Anonymous person before; in fact, I never posted on UK:R until you could post anonymously, but had been reading for several years.
I think everything should have an anonymous option, I really do, and just have better filters/timers/blocks/checks to keep out the spammers and party-poopers.
June 24th, 2009 on 10:59 am
Righty-ho, that’s me signed up then. I’ve decided to move on from the name Photoboy, I’ve been using it for ages but I’ve become more and more concerned it might not be recognised as a reference to a great PC Engine game and instead be mistaken for some sort of pass time enjoyed by Catholic priests.
Plus, Bulk Slash is the best Saturn game ever.
June 24th, 2009 on 11:24 am
Incredible scenes here John!
June 24th, 2009 on 11:35 am
Ain’t no pwn like an S-box pwn cos an S-box pwn don’t stop, no.
June 24th, 2009 on 11:38 am
All UK:R needs now is a ‘video portal’ presented by two tanned, loud women.
June 24th, 2009 on 11:39 am
Would…?
June 24th, 2009 on 12:33 pm
Thank goodness I got here before someone else chose my username.
June 24th, 2009 on 12:49 pm
Dammit. Elephantus – King of the Elephants is taken. grrrr.
I’ll have this one then.
June 24th, 2009 on 12:52 pm
I’ve signed up, logged in and now it’s time to post the only comment I will ever post.
June 24th, 2009 on 1:19 pm
I’m not sure I can be arsed going through all of the hassle of thinking of a username and password just to post a lame arsed comment that no-one is going to be interested in reading. Oh bollocks…
June 24th, 2009 on 1:30 pm
AT knows where it’s AT.
Not here. In your mum’s bum obviously.
June 24th, 2009 on 2:05 pm
Ooh, new clothes. Like it. Hope I can post from my phone, which would mean that I would actually be able to post at all.
June 24th, 2009 on 2:10 pm
“Hang on, why are you M. Zorg rather than C. Zorg. Is it short for ‘Monsieur’? Are you expanding into France. Euroresistance isn’t as snappy, y’know.”
He made Marshal?
June 24th, 2009 on 2:25 pm
I think we should be told.
In about six months when no one cares any more.
June 24th, 2009 on 2:55 pm
Hmm, this is all a bit new and strange. Not the leaving comments bit, but having to register for a Website like UK:R all of a sudden feels a bit sensible.
I guess I’m willing to compromise if it gets rid of all eggy monobrow shit.
Glad I beat all the clamouring hordes (in my mind) to my username too.
June 24th, 2009 on 3:26 pm
Like the picture at the bottom of the site.
June 24th, 2009 on 5:06 pm
Somebody had to do it, really.
June 24th, 2009 on 5:33 pm
I approve. The new colours and that were like an extensive redecoration; this is the addition of a new, comfy sofa. Hurrah!
June 24th, 2009 on 6:06 pm
Change is as good as a rest. Or a shit sandwich.
June 24th, 2009 on 7:00 pm
Joie ! En fait Monsieur Zorg est français. En tant que Président du Comité Anti-Plaiestéchone, je me réjouis.
Here’s my poor english translation :
Great ! Mr Zorg is in fact a french guy. As the President of french anti-playstashun comitee, I deeply enjoy that.
(sorry guys)
June 24th, 2009 on 7:13 pm
So does this mean that if I call someone a cunt then my post/account will become deleted?! That’s the only reason why I ever posted on UK:R in the first place… :(
June 24th, 2009 on 7:18 pm
My username is Sega! Yes Sega! I officially got the bestest username in the WORLD! But then I actually AM Sega! Yes hello from Sega – hope you are all well. We will make something as awesome as Sonic 2 again soon.
June 24th, 2009 on 7:22 pm
Crap Sega related name? Check!
.
..
…..
………
That was all. My checklist was very short. Rest assured that my secretary was sacked and molested after this incident.
June 24th, 2009 on 7:26 pm
I am happy we can all be friends again. I hated them stupid rasist and sexist comments. It would be best if we laid out some rules so people don’t get deleted by mistake. Eg* mon.. ws so ooooold. lol
I wouldn’t mind paying a subscription fee for extra goodies too like a Sega related icon by my name. I want the outrun car.
June 24th, 2009 on 7:50 pm
The only criteria for deletion is if I think you’re that cunt from before registering for the fifth time today under a thrilling new user name/email address combination.
June 24th, 2009 on 7:49 pm
Icons lead to animated gifs, animated gifs lead to sig blocks, sig blocks lead to hate, hate leads to suffering, suffering leads to Sony, somehow. Look, Yoda said it, not me.
June 24th, 2009 on 8:02 pm
Yay, I got my ideal username. Exciting times.
June 24th, 2009 on 8:36 pm
Done it.
June 24th, 2009 on 8:44 pm
Anyone want to buy a Playstation? I can do you a good deal even though they are selling like hot cakes at the moment. Did I mention the PS3 is the world’s bestest console and Sony is the most innovative and forward thinking company in the world? Look, it’s just a bit of a cash flow problem at the moment, when the ten year cycle kicks in we will be rolling in cash again. I’ll even throw in a copy of Ghostbusters. Just don’t compare it to the American xbox version, their’s is vastly inferior to the mighty PS3, European only version. Microsoft don’t know anything about good graphics, thats why we decided a blur filter would be realistic looking than anti-aliasing. Anyway, £10, anyone? Make great looking door stop.
June 24th, 2009 on 9:39 pm
Two things:
1. Was there a reason that we couldn’t just have had anonymous posting switched back off and stuck with Blogger/Google/whatever that was we were using before?
2. Are we still allowed to make the ‘Would’ comments? I hated the racism but the perving misogyny was great… all the posting of pictures of PR girls and comments of “wouldn’t, eyes too far apart and I bet she has those inside-out nipples too”
June 24th, 2009 on 9:54 pm
Blogger doesn’t let you ban people. It’s all about me having power. I’ve still got a slight erection from the thrill of it all.
June 24th, 2009 on 9:45 pm
I hope you all get your ears raped.
June 24th, 2009 on 10:25 pm
Did I miss something but what the deuce WAS that egg monroe thing all about?
June 24th, 2009 on 11:08 pm
Is there a swear filter or something?? Seems hypocritical if there is one. Lets test;
1. Poo
2. Crap
3. Shit
4. Dribbling butt-juice eagle
5. Cunty McCunt
June 24th, 2009 on 11:23 pm
I thought I could detect a nicer font being used.
Bravo racists, now I can stay logged in without making a bloody Blogger account for the umpteenth time.
June 24th, 2009 on 11:35 pm
I assumed Tails4Eva was taken already
June 25th, 2009 on 12:34 am
Woop de woo, comments may become amusing again, rather than boring
June 25th, 2009 on 4:53 am
her names egg monroe shes older.
Can i still do that?
I don’t know what it was all about but i’ve been doing it for weeks
June 25th, 2009 on 4:55 am
btw
June 25th, 2009 on 4:53 am
don’t you mean to say “at 4:53 am”?
June 25th, 2009 on 6:58 am
How about a game of lucky hit?
June 25th, 2009 on 8:15 am
cool :)
June 25th, 2009 on 11:40 am
May the good times roll in…. Well done Zorg
June 25th, 2009 on 3:44 pm
Just testin’.
June 25th, 2009 on 11:08 pm
What the anus
June 26th, 2009 on 12:03 am
I like how it says “Try to logout” like it probably won’t work.
June 26th, 2009 on 8:19 pm
I have nothing to say. I just didn’t want anyone else having my name.