EVACUATE THE CITIES
Particularly Bath. Burn that copy of “Girl Gamer” magazine, just to be on the safe side.
Stolen from the Twitter feed of a brave young soul trapped inside the decaying office – yet still selflessly working away for YOUR entertainment. We shall be praying for you. We shall also be deleting this update in a hurry if anyone gets seriously ill.
filed in GONZO FIELD REPORTS on Jul.10, 2009
July 10th, 2009 on 1:27 pm
Health & safety advisers are telling everyone to stop buying games magazines. Advice I fortunately started following retrospectively in about 2001.
July 10th, 2009 on 1:52 pm
I hope this doesn’t interfere with my subscription to TOTAL!
July 10th, 2009 on 1:55 pm
I hope Neil West is OK.
July 10th, 2009 on 1:56 pm
And can someone go and lick all of the telephone mouthpieces in the Edge office? Thanks.
July 10th, 2009 on 2:14 pm
Surely the Edge staff would be using bluetooth handsfree thingies? I doubt anyone would want to lick those, even if it did mean the death of another pretentious ‘videogame entertainment magazine’ or whatever it’s called. And to think, I actually used to buy Edge regularly because of all that pretentiousness – it made me feel like gaming was mature and ‘with it’.
Fastforward to this year’s E3 with that boring fat guy playing Modern Warfare 2.
How wrong I was.
July 10th, 2009 on 4:14 pm
I hope the Gamesmaster is ok.
July 10th, 2009 on 4:18 pm
I look forward to the RAMRaider’s reaction to this…
July 10th, 2009 on 5:03 pm
“Preying for you”, Zorg? Have you and mystery swine flu bloke become some sort of serial killing tandem? Are you planning on keeping the UKR end up, as it were, in his absence?
Would fully explain this actually, so I’ll let you off.
July 10th, 2009 on 6:18 pm
You don’t have to rub my nose in it.
July 10th, 2009 on 7:08 pm
[token comment about how games magazines are shit and worthless and everyone who writes for them are evil corporate shill cock munchers]
July 10th, 2009 on 7:37 pm
Tamiflu? Is that some kind of tampax you stuff up your nose?
July 10th, 2009 on 11:03 pm
That explains why the next issue of Amiga Power seems to be taking quite a long time
July 11th, 2009 on 8:00 pm
My wife and I both have swine flu but do not work for Future. Is there a risk of us writing for Edge in the next few weeks?
July 12th, 2009 on 9:20 pm
News reports have stated that an EDGE reader from Essex has become the 15th person to die of swine flu in the UK. Unlike previous subscribers linked to swine flu, the patient had no underlying mental health conditions. Sir Liam Donaldson, chief medical officer, said “As with all ‘flu-like viruses, some people are at higher risk than others. Fortunately, people who are otherwise of good taste could also become seriously ill or, gladly, die”.
July 13th, 2009 on 10:06 am
@Bulk Slash
“I look forward to the RAMRaider’s reaction to this…”
Probably a variation of ‘they’re all cunts’ or ‘the industry’s not as good as it used to be’.
July 13th, 2009 on 10:51 am
Or perhaps… “I exposed Future Publishing staff occasionally taking days off sick in 2006, when I revealed that someone wasn’t at their desk all day. Official PlayStation Magazine? Officially Skiving Off With Flu-Like Symptoms Magazine, more like”
July 13th, 2009 on 6:10 pm
I walked passed the offices on Saturday, hoping to catch a few dead bodies outside and/or catch the death plague myself to get out of tedious work this week.
Alas, it appears I’ve failed on both counts.