SONIC TOY UNBOXING “EXCLUSIVE” PICS
“Exclusive” in that no one else would want them. Or even bother downloading the 8.32MB ZIP file. Or would actively solicit material like this in the first place. Let’s just say there wasn’t a fierce bidding war with Kotaku over the rights to upload these with a 24 hour exclusivity agreement in place.
In fact, our main interest in these photographs is the way they accurately document the computer desks and set-ups of men in the year 2009.
Look, the camera has accidentally focused on the Samsung monitor instead of the small child’s toy! This update is coincidentally also being produced on a Samsung monitor. A SyncMaster 206BW if you want to look it up and feel a little bit closer to the UKR machine. It has a squarer bezel than Jonathan’s later model.
We hope Tails is being ironic when he pulls this expression. Otherwise, he’s just a bit of a tosser.
Anyway, that’s our stream of consciousness, first-draft opinions done with. Over to “Jonathan” for his actual commentary.
“I can’t remember if you ever did a post on these (I thought you must have since it constituted actual Sega-related news at the time, but I couldn’t find one) but in February last year some reasonably okay looking Sonic vinyl figures to be made by some people called ‘First4Figures’ were announced.”
“About a year later Forbidden Planet started actually offering them for sale on their website (only the Knuckles one is still there, for some reason, and even that’s currently on pre-order). Seeing as my birthday was coming up, they weren’t too expensive, and it wasn’t like I was ever going to get another girlfriend anyway, I decided to treat myself to them.”
“Somehow it took until today for them to actually arrive. So long that I had completely forgotten that I’d ordered them, and any of the initial excitement had long-since faded. As had any excitment for Sonic in general, in fact, as I’m pretty sure most of the internet was as nonplussed as I was by the announcement of Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing or Sonic and Mario at the Winter Olympics or whatever the hell the latest game is.”
“Actually, make that excitement for videogames as a whole. But I’m sure you don’t care about that, here are some mediocre photos of my ill-gotten winnings. They’re in a zip file with a funny name. It’s slightly too big for me to attach so here is a download link” [WE CAN CONFIRM HE DID AT THIS POINT PROVIDE A DOWNLOAD LINK TO A ZIPPED FILE OF IMAGES]
“As you can hopefully see, the figures are sort of nice, and I suppose they’re just about worth a little under a tenner each if you’re really sad, but I’m no longer sure why I allowed myself to buy them.
“The big Sonic one on the First4Figures website would’ve been nicer, but I’m not paying £100 for that. Or even $100, which will probably be about £100 anyway but tomorrow if things keep going the way they are.”
“Hopefully this isn’t too boring. If you don’t put it on your nice website I hope it at least amuses you for a couple of minutes” – Jonathan.
It was pretty boring, to be honest, Jonathan, but we’re in a mental place right now where the more boring a thing is the better entertainment value it provides as we imagine people reading it and being bored to the point of extreme anger.
We sent Jonathan a separate thank you email yesterday, so there’s no real need to say thanks again here.
filed in READERS DOING WEIRD STUFF, SEGA IN THE MODERN AGE, TOYS on Jul.16, 2009
July 16th, 2009 on 12:59 pm
No EXIF data analysis? I want to know whether the appalling pictures are due to the camera or the operator…and there is no way that I can be arsed with downloading the images to check it myself.
And what is that picture on the monitor? I’m too old to know anything about video games, myself.
Though I do admire the tidy (Windows) desktop that Jonathan has there. Well done.
July 16th, 2009 on 1:08 pm
I AM BORED TO THE POINT OF EXTREME ANGER
July 16th, 2009 on 1:31 pm
Lovely to see this update go up so swiftly. That’s my name in lights, now, thanks.
No need for the EXIF data, Glen Slagg, I can confirm that the poor photo quality is due to BOTH my camera being crap and my own ineptitude. Also thankyou for the compliments on my desktop, I try my best. The picture is from one of these new “animy” things all the kids these days like. And by “all the kids” I mean “me”.
July 16th, 2009 on 1:37 pm
I wanted to stop, but I just kept scrolling down. :(
July 16th, 2009 on 1:38 pm
But why does Sonic have crab pincers … perhaps that’s the next “hip new Sonic” look they’re going for. New image includes mutant Sonic characters such as Tails with two rotating glowcocks or Knuckles fisting Cream The Rabbit who’s got some lovely new isotopic spiky nipples or something. Zounds.
July 16th, 2009 on 2:17 pm
> “and it wasn’t like I was ever going to get another girlfriend anyway”
Another.. well edited before sending. Top marks.
July 16th, 2009 on 2:29 pm
Can this man get a focus RIGHT ?
July 16th, 2009 on 4:18 pm
Quite a cool desktop background by the looks of it, can’t quite make it out though…
July 16th, 2009 on 4:31 pm
Oh hey, it’s Crowbar and what he posted at The GHZ!
July 16th, 2009 on 5:56 pm
My Samsung SyncMaster 191T “Plus” has recently started to go on the blink. In the morning it displays a picture for a few seconds and then blanks out. So I can’t start any work for about 20 minutes until it “warms up”. Anyone here have any advice for me, other than the obvious, like taking an extra long dump in the company toilets until it sorts itself out?
July 16th, 2009 on 8:00 pm
I really can’t believe you don’t have a girlfriend!
Or
You don’t deserve a girlfriend or any happiness at all for buying shit like this as if it was in any way acceptable.
Or
No girlfriend? You should be sterilised.
July 16th, 2009 on 10:17 pm
What do you know, I got my set of these today as well after ordering them sometime in 1995. They’re probably the nicest Sonic toys made to date, which isn’t saying much considering how much of it has been wonky eyed and badly painted. But hey, this is the Internet of 2009, where no one is allowed to show an ounce of happiness for anything Sonic related. They could release a 2D HD Sonic 4 with everything everyone wants from a Sonic game and people would still be moaning about something. :)
July 16th, 2009 on 11:03 pm
I got a Sonic toy out of a capsule machine once (I blame Shenmue for my irresistible attraction to those bloody things). It’s of rubbish new Sonic from that crap Sonic X cartoon, though. Still, it was better than getting Shadow :(
I would get some of these new vinyl toys as I think they look quite nice but it’s probably not a good idea to have too many Sonic toys around. I don’t want anyone getting the idea that I actually like Sonic these days. God no.
July 19th, 2009 on 2:58 pm
“We hope Tails is being ironic when he pulls this expression. Otherwise, he’s just a bit of a tosser.”
lol you’re too awesome