THE NEW URBAN NINTENDO Wii
Comes bundled with a copy of ‘Nintendo Urban Pursuits’, which includes ‘Cosh the Newsagent’, ‘Tag the Bus Stop’, ‘Pepper Spray the Kebab Shop Man’ and ‘Throw Chips at the Poor Old Woman on the Bus’.
Out in Japan in a couple of weeks. Looks like the novelty of trying to point a cursor at a screen has finally worn off, hence the emergency alternate colour casing plan being put into action.
filed in ENEMIES on Jul.15, 2009
July 15th, 2009 on 2:06 pm
Whats the difference between a walrus and a women?
One has fishy flaps and the other is a walrus.
July 15th, 2009 on 2:17 pm
Yes, but as shite as it is, it’s still selling as well as ever, about the same as the 360/PS3 combined, and in all regions (at least if VGChartz are to be believed)… how???!!! Is the casual gamer really this powerful/stupid?
BTW, anyone else found FUEL on the 360 to be pretty dire too? There was me hoping it would be a bit like Pure :(
July 15th, 2009 on 2:49 pm
Looking on the bright side, it might stop the people who want a shiny black console from buying a PS3.
July 15th, 2009 on 2:50 pm
I misread that first comment as ‘walnut’ rather than ‘walrus’. Made it rather confusing. Still not funny, just confusing.
And yes, the casual (i.e. uninformed) gamer market IS that profitable: “No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.” – H. L. Mencken
Is it me, or does that quote seem a bit wordy and could do with simplifying so it’s more readily understandable for more people? (D’you think there be some way of profiting from that?)
July 15th, 2009 on 2:58 pm
Urban Sports has already been invented…
Try sticking ‘neg’s urban sports’ into something other than youtube as they keep removing them.
My favourite:
http://www.gametrailers.com/user-movie/negs-burger-bowl-off/88659
July 15th, 2009 on 3:59 pm
I thought there already was a black Wii. I say “thought”, in reality I have never thought about it before.
They should bring out a wood panelled version for all the ironic Atari tshirt wearing, Camden-slum frequenting retrotwats to guffaw over in their sub-Hollyoaks style sub-lives, getting pissed every night in a violently desperate attempt to regain an evanescent shiver of contentedness.
That’s what they should do.
July 15th, 2009 on 4:20 pm
Is the remote on a black Wii longer than on a white Wii?
July 15th, 2009 on 4:30 pm
‘Make the man walking home on his own feel threatened and uncomfortable’
‘Ask someone for money and then take it as a personal insult that they don’t want to give you any’
etc.
July 15th, 2009 on 5:05 pm
This is a brilliant development for me. As a chimney sweep, I always used to wash my hands before playing the Wii. Now when I return from work I can get down to some multiplayer party action with my sootless chums immediately!
Lovely.
July 15th, 2009 on 7:22 pm
In answer to Gigerpunk re: Mencken quote – someone already made it shorter and more pithy…and made money out of it – W.C Fields in his hilarious comedy “Never Give A Sucker An Even Break” (1941) – though he first said it in his equally hilarious 1936 film “Poppy”. If Wikipedia is correct.
Though fields said the line, it was likely to have originated with amusingly named screen writer “Virginia Van Upp”. If IMDB is correct.
I’m painting windows frames today. I fucking hate painting window frames. I’d waste time doing anything other than painting.
July 15th, 2009 on 7:48 pm
@Gene Groom
YES. And Nintendo plan to bring out a yellow Wii slightly smaller than the white Wii bundled with a pack of decorative stickers featuring specular highlights, curly hairs and milky-white tear-shaped cum drops.
THIS IS A FACT.
July 15th, 2009 on 8:33 pm
@StunCunt, Gene Groom
And a Jewish one without a tip, and one for girls which has loads of excess plastic flaps hanging off and is very hard to get any response from despite very industrious efforts.
July 15th, 2009 on 9:34 pm
@Weatherbox.
I volunteer to be the industrial designer tasked with developing the Kebab Fanny Controller.
One piece of meat randomly jutting out or two?
It would have to be pink.
July 15th, 2009 on 10:14 pm
But, if
You’re thinkin
About buying a wii, wii
It dont matter if you’re
Black or white,
they’re all just as shite.
I said if
Youre thinkin of
Being my brother
It dont matter if you’re
Black or white
Ooh, ooh
Yea, yea, yea now
Ooh, ooh
Yea, yea, yea now
Its black, its white
it’s just as shite
To get by
Its black , its white, whoo
Michael Jackson.
July 16th, 2009 on 10:39 am
Since my Wii got stolen the other day I may hold out for this one since I’m in no real hurry to replace it.