Everyone was excited about Gameswipe, because it looked like being a bit of “proper” games TV. As in, it might have interesting opinions and views, rather than being a woman with a passable face talking about the new promotional footage they got sent over from EA to illustrate the week’s new releases.

If you can make iPlayer work where you live, you can watch it here. The ace opening titles are highlight #1.


First of all, we had to remember what room of the house the television was in. Where was it last? When did we last watch anything LIVE as it was broadcast on the common people’s entertainment medium?


It was in the bedroom, in the corner there underneath all the clothes. Now, the remote control… and what buttons do you press to make it work? Right. Gosh, look how many new channels there are these days. Anyway…


Charile’s got a wonky face, used to work on a games magazine and is angry all the time. He is one of us. He’s so much like one of us that he really shouldn’t be allowed to do nice things, like be on the television where women will get to look at him.


But he was. And as of this morning, Gameswipe’s the #2 most popular thing to watch on iPlayer. Let’s try not to be too angry about those facts and attempt to review the programme impartially.


We were terrified it was going to be shit, as that would make it look like we’re trying to be all cool AGAIN by saying something popular’s shit on the internet to get attention.


But it wasn’t, and cheering was heard from all the houses in the street when Sonic appeared at the 6:28 point. It looks like Gameswipe is going to be OK!


Gameswipe did one thing very well – it articulated the puzzling way games are VERY POPULAR WITH EVERYONE, yet no one seems to know how to put them on telly. And when they do get on the telly, it’s usually some idiot who doesn’t understand them who’s been given the job of talking about them.


There’s some brilliant archive footage and TV adverts in it, including this seminal shot of Dave Perry and Big Boy Barry. Charlie said something funny about this moment. We won’t attempt to appear funny by association by reproducing it here.


It also managed not to be ironic about the old days. It was factual when it needed to be. A bit too much like a catalogue listing products in places, but for the adult, arty, BBC4 audience it was aimed that, that was what it had to be to make them understand.


Don’t usually like this man, but he made a good point about giving up after 11 percent. Even the Castle/Consolevania men were acceptable.


He calls 50 Cent an embarrassing piece of shit, says MMORPGs are rubbish and isn’t exactly holding himself open for Wii. Job done. We won’t spoil any more, just in case you’ve got a torrent on the download and it’s what you were planning on doing tonight.


Definitely not shit. Probably the best and fairest games TV show there’s ever been, even including all those episodes of GamesMaster that are better in our minds now than they were when they came out. Wouldn’t mind a whole series of it, please, if there’s any budget leftover from paying celebrities to dance about.