A FUNNY THING HAPPENED TO A MAN ON THE WAY TO HIS PLACE OF WORK
We say funny… it was more like ever-so-slightly interesting to a very small group of people for as long as it takes said people involved to scroll down, sigh, then click on something else while they EMOTIONLESSLY eat their PATHETIC SANDWICHES today.
“The other day I was driving down the motorway when I passed a lorry that seemed to have SEGA written on it, only in a strange and new font. I thought it might be some strange and new SEGA division, perhaps shipping some strange and new console somewhere – or some such bullshit.”
“Anyway, I then thought of UKR, naturally, and how ‘events’ such as these appeal. Grabbing my bewildering HTC portable telephone system I scrolled to camera mode. However, I had at this point overtaken the lorry, so had to pull in front of it, slow down, let it overtake me, then overtake it again while wildly taking shots at about 80mph. I suspect that I may have committed a serious driving offence whilst performing this stunt but rest assured I feel no more shameful, dirty and wicked than I do anyway” – Max.
filed in GONZO FIELD REPORTS on Oct.12, 2009
October 12th, 2009 on 1:33 pm
That’s an absolutely amazing story.
October 12th, 2009 on 1:50 pm
Who is leaving messages for The Oracle? And why does he have to leave at junction 11?
Wouldn’t he have already foreseen that?
October 12th, 2009 on 1:58 pm
It’s been a long time since I’ve ‘paged the oracle’. It’s about time it was turned into a euphemism.
“Be down in a minute love, I’m just paging the oracle”
October 12th, 2009 on 3:30 pm
Name: “Max”, refused to give full name. Initial inquires lead us to believe a certain M.Zorg may be privy to this information.
Date: 15/07/2009
Time: 12:15
Location: Approaching Junction 11 of the M4, Berkshire, England.
Nature of offence: Reckless endangerment of life with a vehicle.
Details: While driving in excess of 80mph on a busy motorway in poor lighting conditions, the defendant searched about for his mobile phone, proceeded to turn it on, sift through multiple menus (a task he later described as “bewildering”) and then undertake a series of complex and needless overtaking manoeuvres on a non-articulated lorry, all while taking multiple photos of said vehicle.
Attending officer’s statement: It is a miracle no one was left with severe brain damage and/or loss of limb.
Recommendation: Clip round the ear, flogging, hanging, unmarked grave in the prison grounds.
October 12th, 2009 on 4:45 pm
This reminds of that bible story, the one about bread and fish and stuff. Just change afew names and throw in a donkey and its practically in the new testament.
Fuck I love drinking in the daytime.
October 12th, 2009 on 6:10 pm
non-articulated lorry?
Would that be an inarticulate lorry then?
October 12th, 2009 on 7:03 pm
Nothing funny ever happens to me on the way to work. I suppose that’s because I work from home and due to a lack of a dedicated office the computer is only 5 feet from the bed. Not a lot interesting can happen with a 5 foot commute.
Luckily for me I can live vicariously through brave souls like Max who is willing to venture outside his house and take photos of the world.
October 13th, 2009 on 2:11 pm
There is no Spoon!