GILLETTE FUSION “POWER GAMER”
Bizarre concept made entertaining by the animated video in which video game versions of Tiger Woods, that man who’s good at tennis and another man who might be Thierry Henry but it’s hard to say as football’s for idiots, COME ALIVE and WALK OUT OF THEIR SCREENS to admire the razor.
Submitted ages ago by “Courtser”. Thanks, Courtster. On days like this it’s nice to have links to things that were on Joystiq several months ago to fall back on.
And how can they make it even clearer that the product is for gamers? A controller on the loading screen.
filed in "NEWS" on Oct.28, 2009
October 28th, 2009 on 12:17 pm
I’m boycotting Gillette. In the ‘Fusion’ adverts, multi-millionair sports stars mercilessly hound representations of essentially ‘normal’ guys for using Gillettes product. Yes, they are actually having a go at us for USING THEIR PRODUCT. I’ve used a Mach 3 for years, I admit it, but fucking multimillionaire sports bods must be the only peolple who think that having a 0.03% better shave is worth the insane price of the Fusion replacement blades AND the need to change batteries. Yeah, if I had a few million quid lounging around in my bank account I might casually toss a fucking ‘Fusion’ into my shopping trolley, too. Yeah. The twats. So – the Mach 3 is going in the bin. They want me to stop using it? I GOT THAT. YOUR WILL BE DONE.
So, who else makes razors? I’ve literally no idea.
October 28th, 2009 on 1:37 pm
So what exactly is it about this product that makes it for gamers only? I mean, I’m a gamer and like Badben I’ve been using a Mach 3 for ages without any problems. Does this razor come with a d-pad and force feedback? Does it give me a score based on how many hairs I shave off?
Actually, a razor that gives you a score based on the number of hairs shaved might be quite good. It could give you the incentive needed to shave the various crevices that you normally wouldn’t bother with. Maybe it could then award achievements for things like shaving the 1,000th hair off your arse.
October 28th, 2009 on 2:11 pm
It was this shit that really brought home to me the utter contempt Gillette have for people and made me dump my stupidly overpriced mach-something-or-other with a silly amount of blades. I now use my grandfathers old safety razor, save a fortune on blades and have a much better shave because I can afford to use a fresh blade every time.
If you’re a hippy (who shaves?) then you can also gloat over how little packaging is wasted – just metal blades, which are easily recyclable (or used in the shed/greenhouse as required) and the small amount of wax paper they come wrapped in.
Unfortunately, I’ve now turned into a shaving evangelist and bore people senseless at every available opportunity about how great a proper shave is compared to a stupid gillette mach-thingy. But then, if I can convince just one more person to dump gillette due to their pissing annoying ‘gamer’ product I’m happy.
So yeah, fuck you gillette. Wankers. Especially with the new advert with overpriced sports people forcing people to buy a whole new razor by knocking them out of their hands like school bullies.
I think penny arcade pretty much summed up the stupidity of the whole thing too
(Ok, so I haven’t actually thrown out the old razor, good though the new (old) safety razor is, as I still get the odd nick now and then and don’t fancy letting a styptic pencil anywhere near my nutsack)
October 28th, 2009 on 2:12 pm
Oh yeah, and get some proper soap and a brush too, rather than the green/blue chemical shit Gillette insist is best, you won’t regret it.
October 28th, 2009 on 3:40 pm
Proper soap? I did once try soap and water in an emergency and while it did work, it wasn’t ideal. Not that ‘chemical toilet blue’ gel that stops being fucking gel the instant you do anything to it is ideal either.
October 28th, 2009 on 4:24 pm
Don’t get me started on the fucking gel. The propellant runs out when the can is still 1/2 full! The cunts! GILLETTE, YOU CUNTS!
Now I’m amazed that I’ve used these devils merchandise for so long. I’ve been a fool, a poor, benighted blind fool, a poor, duped, bag-of-spanners-witted consuming vacant dead-eyed shitbag user of product CONCEIVED IN EVIL. Well no more.
Giger – do you need to go to a specialist emporium to meet your oldskool shaving needs?
October 28th, 2009 on 4:58 pm
I went to http://www.shaving-shack.com and procured a nice little sampler set of 30 blades for 6.99 (free postage on that)
http://www.shaving-shack.com/shop/product.php?productid=2805&cat=163&page=1
Obviously, didn’t need to splash out 30 quid on a fancy razor as still had grandads and picked up a nice silver shaving stand from a car boot sale.
Still got about 10 blades left and think the ‘feather’ brand ones were best for me. Israeli ones were ok, Derby ones not so great, but it’s all down to personal preference, try them and see which works best for you.
There’s prolly plenty of other such sites around but these were fine and how many gillette blades does £6.99 buy you these days? (You can also get small packs of wilkinson blades razors and a boots own brand safety razor from, errr, boots for only a few quid, saw them there this very lunchtime.)
October 28th, 2009 on 7:31 pm
Real men just hack off the bits of beard that get in their mouths with the kitchen scissors.
October 28th, 2009 on 10:55 pm
It’s just not right to see the last comment on a blog (is UK:R even a blog?) be from the person running said blog, so I shall add some additional waffle to make the comments section look more popular.
I’m not sure real men discuss shaving at all. Or post on UK:R every single day. I would say I am more resigned than proud.
King of Shaves gel, though practically invisible once applied to the face does stay gel-like. Smells like an old man’s bathroom after he’s had a shave too, which as we gently hurtle towards death ourselves, becomes increasingly comforting.
October 29th, 2009 on 4:48 am
Is it just me or does Tiger have a touch of the Two Star McDonald’s Service Engineer?
http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/3189/downtigerdown.jpg
October 29th, 2009 on 9:46 am
That’s not Thierry Henry, it’s GENERIC BLACK CHARACTER #12 from the development tools.
October 29th, 2009 on 8:46 pm
lol, i watched this ad on tv, started ranting about it to my flatmate, then read this article on UKR 2 minutes later.
October 30th, 2009 on 12:58 am
This shaving discussion is quite interesting. I bought one of those Mach 3 things in Dubai, when I had a job. That was ideal because a)it was from Carrefour in Dubai, and therefore cheap and b) I had a job, so could afford it anyway.
Now I am self (un)employed and live in Sweden where a pack of four refill blades costs about £9000. So I am using the cheapest shit disposable razors (6Kr for 10). They are quite painful to use. I already use ordinary soap as part of a money saving gambit but I wonder if I could find a pukka safety razor? I’d completely forgotten about those until Giger piped up. All of my grandads are long dead, so I might have to buy one from somewhere (a safety razor, not a grand parent). They are probably illegal in Sweden (safety razors).
Anyway, all very interesting. What’s the video about? Can’t be bothered to look.
October 30th, 2009 on 10:31 pm
I switched to Morrison’s own three-blade. May as well have been a scythe for the ‘tough-guy’ cuts it left me with. Not nicks, but perfect patterns of the blade design.
November 1st, 2009 on 11:21 am
For those of you who’ve already thrown out all of their grandads’ things, and don’t like in the UK so nipping to Boots isn’t an option, I’ve read that the Merkur brand of safety razors are pretty good. Cheapest one’s about 16 quid, mind, but cheaper than funding Gillette in the long run, and they’ll probably respect you more.
As an aside, I had a shave thursday and I still don’t really need one today. Whether that’s to do with the quality of the shave or the general laziness of my hair I’ve no idea.