Not found in Japan – found in “Topman in Westfield London” by a man called “Iain”.


Iain said he couldn’t be bothered writing anything proper and that we should just make something up…

By M. Zorg

“Come on now little lady, there’s no escaping it!” said the mummy rabbit, pulling her struggling daughter out from beneath her little wooden bed by grabbing her orange shoes and yanking her across the floor.

“But mommy! I really don’t need any new clothes!” blustered the little girl rabbit, her bottom lip poking out so far it surely must have stuck out further than her cute little nose.

Mommy, however, wasn’t taking no for an answer. Little Cream got through clothes like nobody’s business. Always out on some rough and tumble adventure with her friends, always coming home with something ripped, something torn to shreds or something bursting apart at the seams.

“Come on now, Cream, you can’t wear that dress any more. It’s ripped. Look, I can see your tummy through that hole!”

Mommy rabbit poked a soft, hairy finger at Cream’s midriff, pulling the ripped fabric aside to reveal her daughter’s downy little belly and sinewy muscles. You may even have got a quick glimpse of the top of her pants.

“And look at these things!” said mommy. “My, they’ve grown quickly. We’ll need to get you a proper bra now!”


“Hey Sonic! What are you doing here?!”

Sonic froze, then started speaking in hushed tones.

“Oh, er, just… just shopping for clothes” the blue hedgehog said, his pink face bit suddenly looking much redder than usual.

“Who are you here with?” asked Cream, holding up a pair of small white cotton panties against her slender frame to judge the fit.

“Oh… just some… friends…” Sonic said, as he shrunk away lower and lower, as if he was about to roll into a ball right there in the shopping centre.

“SONIIIIIIIIIIIC! Where are you? Why don’t you try these LOVELY UNDERPANTS on for me?” cackled an old woman – it was Sonic’s mum!

“Aw, mum, not now” mumbled the hedgehog.

“Yes, now! I’ve got to get home – it’s chilli dogs for tea! You like chilli dogs, don’t you? I know you do, now take these pants and try them on.

“Aw, mum, can’t I just play on the rides with Cream?”

Sonic’s mum was thoroughly fed up of her boy’s enthusiasm. She’d chased him all the way through the bakery section, run after him as he leapt from car-to-car in the car park, then had to apologise to astonished customers as he sprinted the wrong way up the downward escalators.

She grabbed Sonic by the neck with one hand, and carried him into the changing room.

“Cream, you go in there with him. Make sure he doesn’t run away. I’ll wait outside”


“Can you, like, turn around, Cream?” Sonic asked, clearly not enjoying the claustrophoc atmosphere of the tiny changing room.

“What?! Why? You never usually wear clothes anyway, Sonic!” Cream laughed,

“Look, I’m not shy!”

Cream lifted her dress clean over her head.


Sonic sighed and turned around, quickly pulling on the underpants that bore his name. The underpants were baggy enough that he didn’t have to take his shoes off, which was at least one good thing about this terrible situation. Sonic turned around.

“OK. Are these OK? Please say yes, then we can spilt this joint” Sonic asked Cream, trying desperately to maintain eye contact and not to look at her nakedness.

“Gee, Sonic, those pants are no good – they’ve got a hole in the front of them – look!”

Cream grabbed the front of Sonic’s Sonic underpants and gestured to the seam.

Sonic started mumbling… “I think that’s supposed to be there, it’s so you can…”

“I can practically fit my whole hand through that gap!” she exclaimed, getting more and more enthusiastic, probably because the thrill of getting caught was turning her on.

This should probably be The End now, before their mums appear and join in.