Well, there sort of are, in that Sonic likes collecting “coin-like” gold items, which is a bit like capitalism. Good luck spinning that sole fact out over 10,000 words, Luke. You’d seriously be better off ditching “uni” and going straight into being unemployed and having a blog about games.

He’s being very brave about using semi-colons;

sonic capitalism dissertation

We pity the poor tutor that will have to read through this, pretending it was a worthwhile way to spend three years. Thanks to reader “Paul” for sending this in.