GRAN TURISMO 5 IN NEW DELAY CRISIS
The latest version of real-time tedium simulator Gran Turismo 5 has been delayed again, with its Japanese “March” release now changed to “TBA”. This a mere TWO YEARS after the demo arrived in 2008. Unbelievable incompetence. We are trying to think of a good joke about what TBA might stand for in this context.
Just when you think Sony can’t get any worse this generation, BLAM! – it shoots itself in the groin again, with the bullet unfortunately traveling through the soft, fatty flesh and embedding itself in the knee.
We honestly cannot understand Sony. We should be reviewing Gran Turismo 6: Director’s Cut right now, not hearing that GT5 has been delayed YET AGAIN. Games are not ART, they are BIG BUSINESS.
This man and his inept colleagues at Polyphony are costing Sony money by the day. Not just in spiraling development costs, but in slowing the adoption of PS3 worldwide, meaning there are fewer console owners to buy Sony’s other dull games once they’re bored of his dull game. There is only one answer…
Get Traveller’s Tales in with IMMEDIATE EFFECT! Seriously, Traveller’s Tales could kick Yamauchi’s shit into shape in a couple of months, probably using spare people it’s got earmarked for doing downloadable content for LEGO games. We firmly believe Traveller’s Tales could get GT5 ready in time for an April release.
What should Sony do about GT5?
Or cancel the PS3 version and keep it for a rush-released PS4? We would love it if that happened. Could do with another war to get rid of this troublesome rage.
January 13th, 2010 on 10:55 am
I can’t get that poll to go in the middle of the page and am now going to stop trying.
January 13th, 2010 on 11:01 am
TT could probably have Lego Gran Turismo ready in a fortnight. They’d probably have better crash physics too.
January 13th, 2010 on 11:02 am
Yamauchi-san’s problem is that he’s holding the controller the wrong way round. I hear they’ve spent years telling him the controls are not actually flipped but he’s not buying it.
January 13th, 2010 on 11:26 am
They should turn it into Duke Nukem Kart Racing, probably be released quicker that way.
And probably be more fun too.
January 13th, 2010 on 11:30 am
Let them get Traveller’s Tales in, have all of the game’s music composed by Richard Jacques and sung by T.J. Davis, and make all the skies blue. Unlockable cars would include all the Ferraris from the OutRun games and Dr. Robotnik’s egg saucer thing. With the wrecking ball attached.
January 13th, 2010 on 12:19 pm
GT5 has been in development for longer than my daughter has been alive. And yesterday she was sarcastic at me for breaking the sledge.
If nature can turn a load of oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium and a few handfuls of trace elements into something tht can be withering (and frankly cheeky) about my weight in less time then it takes to tweak GT4 for the PS3 then something is badly amiss.
Still getting it though. In 2018 or whenever.
January 13th, 2010 on 1:02 pm
Is it posible to see what the ‘other’ suggestions are anywhere, or does it just consign our typing to oblivion?
January 13th, 2010 on 1:14 pm
I voted other, I suggested Sony give all their money to Sega to fund the Dreamcast 2.
January 13th, 2010 on 1:54 pm
Only I can see The Others, the best so far is…
“Release the game as is but with a real car in bundle”
January 13th, 2010 on 2:56 pm
I enjoyed the part of the article that touched upon how “DULL” Sony games are. Not many people care to bring up this pressing issue.
Every single PS2 game that I own, including the ones that I am somewhat fond of are dull. There is no getting around it. They are dull, muddy colored, and are not Pick-Up-and-play friendly. The only ones that I consider “Non-Dull” or “Slightly Amusing at times” are the retro compilations and for all intensive purposes those cannot even be considered real Sony Games.
I applaud you Mr. Zorg…..
P.S.
Is your name from the movie the Fifth Element?
January 13th, 2010 on 5:13 pm
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January 13th, 2010 on 6:02 pm
Tenner says >90% of the “other” votes in the poll read “Learn how to spell release”.
January 13th, 2010 on 6:06 pm
He looks a bit depressed. I think he should get a more colourful living room. It can’t be good for him coming home to that.
January 13th, 2010 on 7:30 pm
TBA = to be arsed
January 13th, 2010 on 9:08 pm
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