If your birth name is “Nino” you shouldn’t go making things even harder for the poor call centre employee by then insisting you’re sometimes called “Doo Dew” as well. English isn’t her first language, so she won’t know if she’s supposed to call you “Mr Nino” or “Mr Dew”.

And the call’s being recorded. She’ll be sacked if it’s pulled up for a random QA check.

dj sega new jack philly

Sent in by lapsed and presumed missing reader “Phorenzik” who is thankfully still alive. Although the strange email formatting suggests the message was sent on a borrowed prison mobile, or is perhaps being kept alive artificially and using hospital internet.


01. Seg’s Theme
02. Boss Theme
03. MK Theme
04. Tetris Theme
05. MIss U
06. Reel Luv
07. My Luv Is The Ish
08. Believe In Luv
09. Shorty Get Down
10. No Cruelty
11. New Jack Dream
12. Tic Toc
13. Philly Clear Throat
14. Everybody Handz UP
15. Hell Fuk Yeah
16. Philassippi Slide
17. Uptown Juice
18. U Bad Sista Break
19. Seg’s Break
20. Off The Break
21. MJ Break
22. I’m Black
23. Cops Theme
24. Seg’s Power
25. Mighty Morphin Theme
26. MK II
27. Bill Nye’s Theme
28. Reminisce

You can hear DJ Sega’s “music” on streaming service The Hype Machine, if you’re interested or so bored you fancy at least pretending to be interested for five minutes. He seems to specialise in that thing where you play two records at the same time over the top of each other.