SVEND SPENT THE NIGHT WITH SONIC
Remember the bizarre Sonic-themed Alton Towers business? Turns out the Sonic-branded hotel room exists, and has been designed as a chamber in which the worship of Sonic 4 takes place. It is an advert in hotel room format, basically.
Here are some slightly too dark photos, taken from Sonic Stadium and coming via the suite’s inhabitant’s Twitter thing.
Sadly the visitor didn’t report on what the in-room TV pornography options are. That’s always the first thing we check out when visiting any hotel room, even before we see what kind of free shampoos there are.
There’s another amazingly detailed gonzo report over at “Girl Gamers” in which they take millions of photos of the entire day.
They also say they were invited by SEGA. We were not invited by SEGA. Why would that be, SEGA?
Presumably we weren’t invited because the room is all new and they didn’t want it staining in any way, and didn’t want the towels being wanked into.
Or maybe we’re just out of yet another loop.
Maybe this was the photo that illustrated what kinds of in-room pornography is available?
UKR FACTS: We are sad not to have been invited to this. We would’ve bothered replying to the email and might’ve even gone. But wouldn’t have mingled with anyone else.
filed in "NEWS", SEGA IN THE MODERN AGE on Feb.15, 2010
February 15th, 2010 on 7:49 pm
Are you sure it’s not a themed love hotel room (like what they have in Japan)? It does have a double bed. Also, gold toilet seat and lid = classy.
Also, I did not know Sonic’s favourite food was chili-dogs. I would have assumed it was slugs and cat food. I guess you learn something new everyday.
February 15th, 2010 on 8:09 pm
it looks like Knuckles and Tails have had they’re unmarked graves unearthed in the 5th pic. Poor bastards….
February 15th, 2010 on 8:17 pm
Sega are basically the equivalent of abusive spouses these days.
They give us shit, and yet still we cling to them, believing deep down that they love us inside. It will come as no shock to anyone when our bodies are trawled out of the Thames…
February 15th, 2010 on 9:30 pm
So. Who’s Svend? Or have I missed something there?
As for the Sonic Facts:
I thought Sonic first appeared in the Rad-Mobile? I distinctly remember playing it when it first came out and pointing him out dangling from the rear-view mirror to my mates and saying “That’s Sonic, he’s Sega’s new mascot, kinda like Nintendo have with Mario, but much better.” (Think I’d been reading C&VG) I also remember the distinct lack of response or interest from said ‘mates’.
60 million people have played at least 1 Sonic game? Quite possible, but I’d be impressed if you could actually prove it. Ah yes, that’d be why it’s ‘an estimated 60 million’. As in, you ‘reckon’.
Collected over 66 billion rings? How’d they work that one out then?
Sonic’s the most famous hedgehog alright. Unless you count Mrs Tiggy-winkle, things could get nasty then.
Is he really in the Guinness book of, oh, hang on, see what you’ve done there – Guinness World Records Gamer’s edition…right, gotcha.
Right, think that’s me done, who else is queuing up to pick holes in the fantasy? Probably best to bring expectations crashing back down to earth now, rather than once we’ve booked in there for a night (not all together, obviously) and start feeling buyer’s remorse for having persuaded the other half it’d be a nice weekend away from the kids and romantic and oops, look what room they’ve given us, oh dear, ah well, they’re fully booked, no other rooms available, yes of course I checked, etc etc.
That’s not going to end well.
February 15th, 2010 on 10:10 pm
That’s quite a good idea, actually. We could all share the room for a night. Zorg could bring his Homestar Planetarium, and someone else could bring a Megadrive.
I do wonder how many of us would actually come out alive the next morning however… o_O
February 16th, 2010 on 3:21 am
This sort of stuff is really starting to feel equivalent to someone building a shrine to Bob Seger. By that I mean an exercise in clinging to utterly irrelevant past glories that really weren’t very glorious to begin with. We, of all people, should really be mocking this sad attempt to make something more out of an above average platform game from 1991 that some of us played and kind of enjoyed.
But wait… that is what we’re doing here right? I was under the impression that we’ve been supporting Sega for all this time to play a cruel joke on them – to make them think that people still love Sonic and then one day reveal how we truly feel and give them a taste of the bitter disappointment they’ve been dealing out so recklessly for so many years. Or does someone actually still think that Sonic is cool? I’m just so confused and disorientated by the years of irony.
Fact: Sonic can’t swim.
Fact: He’s a fictional hedgehog, so not only can he not swim but he’s never been near real water to test this ‘fact’.
February 16th, 2010 on 11:30 am
I expect that this is just what the head of Sega Europe wanted his/her Dream bedroom to look like but was persuaded by his/hers other half that it would in reality be nightmarish and shit and would be better used as a publicity stunt when launching a Sonic themed roller coaster at theme park.
February 16th, 2010 on 1:21 pm
A little from column A and a little from column B floppylobster, depending on how I feel that day. We’re Sega fans, all we’ve really got is the past. Besides, if Nintendo fans can wank endlessly over how great Super Mario World is, then we can do the same over the early Sonic games.
February 16th, 2010 on 2:49 pm
I’m pretty sure The Flash has been in a videogame or two. If they had said “videogame character” rather than “character in videogames”, I might have let them off.
Floppy, if it wasn’t thios, it’d be Shenmue 3, Dreamcast 2 or another JSR, so I don’t think it really matters anymore.
February 16th, 2010 on 4:08 pm
“Fact – Sonic can’t swim.”
Have these hapless cunts never played Mario & Sonic? He does a fairly good job swimming in that.
February 16th, 2010 on 5:26 pm
Nobody has played Mario & Sonic. But I know you’re a bit of a sadist Fred and I imagine you’ve probably made some people play it to get your jollies, so I’ll let you off.
February 16th, 2010 on 7:14 pm
Sonic’s first appearance wasn’t Sonic 1, it was Rad Mobile.
I don’t think the 86 billion ring tally would stack up against a rigorous scientific investigation either.
February 16th, 2010 on 8:13 pm
Y’know, I could’ve sworn I said that Police Constable…but nice to know I’m not the only one to notice (unlike the people actually paid to decorate this room…)
In other news (which I can’t be arsed typing in the right update) – XBL silver users (i.e. lepers) are finally allowed to download the Sega allstars racing thingummy from xbox live so gave it a go. Didn’t think it was too bad, although definite hint of ‘Will that do?’ about it. Kinda like people were asking for a Sonic version of Mario Kart, they’ve made this and gone “pffft, can’t be arsed anymore, that’ll do, won’t it?” The menus definitely seem to say that to me…
24 levels, some Sonic themed, some Monkeyball, some Billy Hatcher, Samba di Amigo and some House of the Dead. No Virtua Fighter ones, no Space Channel 5 ones, no Shenmue and certainly no Outrun, Afterburner or Altered Beast. Rather disappointing, that. I mean, it’s nice they’ve themed some levels as ‘inspired’ by some games, but then repeating them over and over whilst completely ignoring other games is a bit odd. Why do I get the feeling if there are any more they’ll be DLC?
Still can’t fathom why the hell Banjo/Kazooie are in it…
Ah well, the missus thought it was quite pretty and said it looked good, so that seems promising at least. The whole ‘But it drops to 30fps in some places!’ argument doesn’t bother me, unlike how it does for some whingers, as I didn’t really notice to be honest, I just noticed how poor I am at racing games…
February 16th, 2010 on 10:13 pm
Don’t get me wrong I’m all for supporting the Dreamcast (and all future versions of it); fan fiction between Space Michael and Ulala; the voice actors from House of the Dead 2 being given more work; and the release of Shenmue 2.5 so we can finally find out what happened between Ryo and the sailors. But Sonic… Sonic has become like a drunk uncle who might have touched inappropriately once when you were an infant but your memories have become too hazy to remember exactly who was touching you that day, and you can’t be sure where exactly they were touching you. Yet he keeps giving you that glad eye at the family get-togethers and it’s making you suspect that it must have been him, or at the very least he’s going to try something the next time he’s had one too many rum and colas and asks you to sit on his lap. Someone needs to spike one of his drinks so we can hold him down and rape him in the arse. At least so we’re even.