It came as a 688k PNG with 300 words and a threat. From “Jon” again.


“Someone in the comments suggested that a reader – with too much free time, a vague interest and a basic understanding of ‘copy’ and ‘paste’ – should consider doing something like this at some point.

//Artistic thought process//

“A moment of inspiration struck me on Thursday, and I sought out that choice image of Mr. Kutaragi (courtesy of UK:R’s bandwidth). I decided against the customary ‘Save Image As’ menu command, opting instead to swiftly drag the image to my desktop (a feature that makes Macs so very lovely for doing unproductive crap like this).

“For comic effect, I enlarged the photo. Next, I cut around the heads using the tool that looks like a knotted umbilical cord, and spent at least 15 minutes trying to line up the estranged body parts. The results were very satisfying.

“Several other ideas were then tossed around on MSN, such as the inclusion of a prototype PlayStation 3 on the bench, party hats, and one of those animal cages found at the end of an act in Sonic the Hedgehog. Unfortunately, these additions seemingly detracted from my original, horrific vision.

“I fully encourage… no, scrap that… I fully expect, demand and require the UK:R community to step up, churn out and e-mail in a collection of uninspiring spin-offs, so as to extend my fifteen minutes of fame and further contribute to the downfall of modern society.

– Jon

“P.S. If you use this photo on a t-shirt, please can I have one? Actually, make that two… I’ll give one to a friend, as he is likely losing his job, and will soon be spending every waking moment in a grotty gym called Zeus, drinking cartons of Ribena alongside women who actually look more manly than him.

“P.P.S. Please don’t tinker with my paragraph formatting again.”