We’ve got an hour to go until dinner’s ready, so let’s LIVE BLOG the Nintendo conference for as long as our hearts can stand it.

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We’ve already had enough.

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NEW BLOG IDEA: Men who have bought new shirts especially to wear at important events.

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Ten minutes of this. The crowd has long since been lost. Miyamoto’s controller isn’t working. This is the future of games and why we don’t currently have a plugged-in console.

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LIVE BLOG ABORT.

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You have to pity the “hardcore” Nintendo people in the crowd when stuff like this comes on. Do they show brand loyalty and cheer, or mock and jeer like they’ll be doing on internet forums via the hotel wi-fi after tonight’s wank marathon?

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Now a man’s complaining about how much prescription glasses cost. He’s got a point.

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Nervous Nintendo men about to get a go at standing near some ladies!