NINTENDO 3DS IN ‘POSSIBLY HARMFUL TO EYES’ NON-SHOCKER
The Sun, being the paragon of finely-researched investigative journalism it is, has uncovered a terrible truth about the forthcoming Nintendo 3DS.
It’s really ugly.
Only kidding – apparently the upcoming Nintendo handheld could damage the eyesight of children, affecting the development of their eyes. If you wish to muddy your browser then the whole article can be found here.
Of course, this is nothing new if you were a gamer in the early 90’s when VR was at its height:
Legible version can be found here. Will this stop people from buying it for their mewling litters? Probably not. But say what you like about the Game Gear, it never sent anyone blind.
January 4th, 2011 on 8:28 pm
I’m fairly sure there are worse threats to teenage boys’ eyesight than the 3DS.
Like me jumping out of some bushes and jamming my penis into their eye sockets!
And also wanking.
January 5th, 2011 on 2:16 am
In the lower ad there’s a young blonde girl wearing a cyber-helmet, being exposed to possible cyber sickness. That’s pretty neat.
January 5th, 2011 on 6:23 am
That’s from a feature in 1996’s issue of GamesMaster magazine on VR. They basically said that VR could make you sick, and that also could possibly mess up your eyes.
The same criticism was also levelled at the Virtual Boy in the same feature. Nintendo probably wanted to forget about that, though.
January 5th, 2011 on 10:10 am
The same could be said of GamesMaster magazine’s design/layout…
January 5th, 2011 on 11:28 am
Very true. Those were the days when game screenshotes were actual photos cut out and glued to the master page.
I have an issue of GM magazine with a teenage Danny Wallace’s review of Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo on the Saturn. He was as much of an insufferable twat back then as he is now.
And also an interview with a 15 year old Natalie Imbruglia, pre-singing fame.
January 5th, 2011 on 2:14 pm
14 minutes you’ll never get back
Highlight is Ellie explaining she wanted to be a “Space Astronaut”…as opposed to a Sea or Land Astronaut.
January 5th, 2011 on 7:47 pm
Yeah, the Wii’s pretty crappy, but I have to say at I reckon the DS is probably the best console since the Dreamcast.
Just so many great titles. Even the Sonic games on the DS are good – well they started off good anyway.
The DS rules and I’ll be getting this new 3D thing too, unless it turns out to be a piece of crap, which is definitely very possible.
January 6th, 2011 on 6:37 am
I agree with Weatherbox on the DS. That thing almost restored my faith in gaming (before a billion shitty games came out for it).
I played the 3DS when I went to E3. I kind of liked it. It felt like you were playing with a small diorama in a little box. Some of the games did make me feel sick to my stomach though. But that was probably due to my proximity to the Nintendo girls.
January 6th, 2011 on 11:12 am
I enjoyed the DS until it became the sole and exclusive property of small children and the elderly and good games stopped coming out for it.
What’s the 3D effect like then, Glen? I’m not that keen on 3D as it gives me motion sickness. :(
January 6th, 2011 on 1:15 pm
I pretty much gave you my best attempt at a description above. :(
It’s like you’re looking into a small 3D box, rather than something ‘immersive’. You feel like you could poke your finger in to the screen but it looks like it only goes about 1/2 inch deep. There’s a slider on the side that turns it back to 2D.
I played a submarine game which I really liked. It was slow paced and it wasn’t really clear what to do. It was probably only a demo but that’s exactly the type of game I’d like to see on it. I also played Nintendogs. Which was just exactly the same but in 3D. And I played Kid Icarus which tried to have a greater depth of field but just made me sick. The character was way up the front and the things you were shooting were way at the back. I saw a demo of Resident Evil which just looked blurry. It’s probably going to be ‘too difficult to program for 3rd party developers’.
The one thing that did stand out though, was the sound. I never really pay attention to sound and usually prefer 8 bit soundtracks. Maybe it was the headphones they supplied but it sounded really good. I’d better stop here before this turns in to some serious commentary or something.
Lara Croft’s bum might look good on it. How’s that for a preview quote?
January 6th, 2011 on 11:37 pm
I once bumped into some of the developers of the submarine game in an 8-bit themed cafe in Kyoto. I think it made their day that I had actually heard of their game! Looks pretty good but the 3DS will inevitably be a rip-off and won’t drop in price even when they bring out a less ugly version a year later.
January 7th, 2011 on 1:27 pm
It does actually exist then. I looked it up – it’s called ‘Steel Diver’. Now that’s a real game title!