HIGH-RESOLUTION PHOTOS OF “THE SATURDAYS” PLAYING “BAND HERO” FOR MONEY AND THE PRECIOUS OXYGEN OF PUBLICITY
They are girls, they are near a game. We are allowed, so let’s go.
We have reached the age where women like this all look the same. That could be the new Sugababes for all we know. Or they could be the new Blue Peter presenters. They all have the same faces painted on them and do the same wide-eyed, trying-to-be-sexy-but-not-too-sexy expressions.
The best thing Girls Aloud did was put the odd ginger one in, so you could at least tell Girls Aloud apart from all the other products which feature same-women dancing in a line.
They play all their own instruments. Incidentally, if you are involved in the “live blogging” of X Factor in any way, you are a bit of an idiot. You used to be able to avoid shit telly by not watching it – now you can’t even retreat to the internet without getting bombarded by commentary on Simon Cowell’s 90-minute TV commercial for his bands. If you watch X Factor, you’re getting excited about an advert, basically.
BAND HERO: No thanks, it’s just another plastic toy for people that weren’t good enough at games to like Frequency.
filed in PROMOTIONAL IMAGES on Nov.09, 2009
November 9th, 2009 on 11:44 am
Highly inappropriate shoes for jumping up and down in. Their knee joints won’t be thanking them for that when, or indeed if, they reach 30.
November 9th, 2009 on 12:25 pm
I’m quite enjoying Band Hero. It contains songs I’ve actually heard of, some of them are even from the ’80s. Lego Rock Band even has The Final Countdown. I might actually buy the microphone for that because I know the lyrics.
I haven’t played Frequency because it was on the PS2. Why are you advocating PS2 games, Zorg?
November 9th, 2009 on 12:57 pm
1st pic, ‘girl’ on the left – Isn’t that Helena Bonham Carter from the remake of Planet of the apes?
Also, Would, Wouldn’t, Maybe, Wouldn’t, Would (but might actually be a pre-pubescent boy in disguise so best make that a maybe instead.)
Now you just have to work out which picture I was referring to.
Only it makes no difference, as it looks like they always stand in this same order as their Obersturmbannführer has decreed it is the most profitable way of displaying the ‘product’.
Have they done any songs or is this all they’ve done so far? And what musical genre are they? Electro-Skiffle? Industrial Folk? EBM? Dubstep? Dark reggae?
November 9th, 2009 on 1:29 pm
I believe the genre is a gritty fusion of neo-orchestral art-rock catharsis and post-industrial jungian fury; a sound pioneered in the 90s by the likes of Hotbox Volvo and Intrinsic Error Cardigan.
However, most will have heard it on the Red Brick Lesbian opus: ‘Nan by marriage’.
November 9th, 2009 on 2:21 pm
Ah right, so like the Pussycat Dolls then? Gotcha.
November 9th, 2009 on 8:08 pm
The Saturdays are, I’ve been reliable informed, the nu-NWBHM.
The two in the first picture used to be in that popular waltz combo S-Club Juniors.
November 9th, 2009 on 10:55 pm
The odd ginger one was my favourite because I like odd women and I like ginger women. I only knew she existed because of a previous UK:R update and that is still the extent to which I know her now.
I have literally never watched even 1 second of X Factor or any of the other shows Cowell has made. Sometimes I surprise myself with just how thoroughly successful I am at avoiding mainstream culture and society. I’m fucking great I am.
On a side note, Fallout 3 is so much more fun with the mod that lets you kill children. *So* much.
November 10th, 2009 on 8:26 am
I have never heard of these women before, but something about them makes me “wouldn’t”. I think it’s the make-up. They just look so… sticky. Like they reek of Maybelline and cigarettes. And their thighs have the same sheen as those high end silicon sex dolls. Though I do find something endearing about far right’s smile and head tilt in the third picture. She’s dropping the “my role is to be the outrageous one because I’m not as conventionally pretty” act.
November 14th, 2009 on 12:51 am
Unconventional beauty is far better than the packaged ideal of beauty, angular-faced, square jaw line bitches the media serves up. A bit of curve never hurt any man.
The ginger Girl’s Allowed to suck my wang. The rest could fuck off.
November 16th, 2009 on 7:34 pm
I just want to record my admiration for PC London with regard to his comment above (regarding mainstream culture and the ability to kill children in a video game).
Good man.
And yes, ginger birds can be quite hot. Though I wouldn’t necessarily take one down the town. Best keep them at home, cooking and cleaning as per Jane Asher in the popular moving picture “Alfie”.