Author Archive

DRAWING A LINE UNDER IT ALL

Or rather, due to the constraints of the workings of the modern blogging system, drawing a line over it all:

 


 

The end. We couldn’t even close the site properly. You’ve had the riotous encore, now please exit the venue :(

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SONY BEGINS REISSUING PLAYSTATION NETWORK PASSWORDS

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At least it’s nice that everything’s out in the open.

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SINKING PLAYSTATION3 TORPEDOED AGAIN – BY SONY’S OWN TECHNICAL INCOMPETENCE. 77 MILLION LIVES RUINED BY IGNORANCE

We cannot sit idly by and watch the greatest PR disaster of our time unfold without passing comment. We have therefore acquired SPECIAL DISPENSATION for a one-off commemorative update celebrating Sony’s latest global crisis.

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Obviously we are not savages. We feel a small pang of pity for those 77 million PlayStation Network users about to find their credit card and password details up on The Pirate Bay in a convenient multi-part RAR file…

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…but that small, annoying pang of humanity is easily eclipsed by the MASSIVE FEELINGS OF JOY that come from seeing Sony’s already damaged reputation SPREAD TO THE FOUR WINDS across ALL MEDIA OUTLETS. Even the ones for women.

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Anyway. That’s it. Just had a few capital letters building up and it was either put them up here or start shouting at the wife. Carry on with your lives.

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CLOSEDOWN, MARCH 29th 2011

It’s time. Or rather, it was time about three years ago and we have only just got around to making it formal.

I’m going out. Might be some time. Save me a few of those Sonic The Hedgehog pasta shapes, if they haven’t gone rotten inside the tin. Thanks for everything, everyone. It’s been character defining.

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NINTENDO RELEASE 3DS – WORLD STOPS

Today marks the UK launch of the 3DS, and thousands of COMPLETE IDIOTS queued all night just to get their hands on one.

Idiots, queuing.

Here’s the list of launch games for the 3DS:
PilotWings Resort
Steel Diver
Kid Icarus: Uprising
Mario Kart 3DS
Nintendogs
Animal Crossing
StarFox 64 3D
Paper Mario

Nothing really exciting in that lineup worth forking out £200 for. Also you could add the prefix “Yet another…” to most of those games. Does the world really need another Mario Kart? Really?

Bonus material – Nintendo employed a woman to hold their product in a hideous flash-driven piece of promo fluff on their site.

6/10

Seems to have the basic idea, but loses points for thumb placement. 6/10

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HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!

Found this. Thought it was an unfunny pretend game. Turns out it’s real, which is even less funny:

Shall we say midnight, Thursday 24th, my house for the mass suicide?

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NEW DREAMCAST GAME IN SHOPS

But hang on, what’s this?

:( :( :( :( :( :(

Oh. It’s an Xbox 360 reissue.  :(

Blurry photo hastily taken at PC World. On the plus side it was the only bastion of HAPPY BLUE SKY GAMING sitting on a shelf of dreary 18+ sludge.

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THE 2011 VIDEO GAME BAFTAS

It happened a few days ago but I couldn’t be bothered to post at the time

Various sequels won awards against a backdrop of pretentious idiots quaffing champagne.

Gemma Atkinson was there. Do people still fancy her?

Ben Kingsley and his missus turned up (surprisingly). He must’ve got muddled up and thought it was the film one instead

Iain Lee was (predictably) there

Blue were (hilariously) living up to their name

That’s your lot for another seven days!

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GOOD SONIC TOY SHOCKER

It’s only a prototype. The actual retail version will probably end up with rickets, fat arms, club feet and a spack face.

Should a 31 year old even be contemplating its purchase?

Shamelessly stolen from a site that has regular updates: The Sonic Stadium

If nothing else, it should stop Weatherbox from whinging?

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“VINTAGE SEGA DREAMCAST PROMOTIONAL TOWEL – BLUE”

Someone else is having a coming-of-age eBay sale. Mr “Funky Dung” had access to quite a range of promotional merchandise, it would seem. Or just lots of money to throw at import shops.

He no longer wants to continue carrying this very absorbent-looking Dreamcast towel about with him every time he moves house.

dreamcast towel

He also has an “MTV ‘The Lick’ & Dreamcast crossover t-shirt from when Sega tried and failed to make Dreamcast hip” up for grabs. Good luck.

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