Wow! What a day that was! Thanks to everyone who attended the UKR Lan Party, a good time was definitely had by all!

Now, the PHOTOS!!

Forum mod PK-Jones PUMPING THE MAD DANCING SKILLZ on DDR Revolution!!

Mikey900 kicked some ASS at Halo 2 because he had previously ran out of chewing gum!!!

This is Sarah. She arrived at 4:00pm, then left crying at 4:07pm. Thanks for coming, Sarah! Hope to see you at the next meet!! :)

The role of women in videogames – sorry, Women In Videogames – is as follows.

– Getting shot
– Getting stabbed
– Getting blown up
– Getting shot
– Getting kicked to death
– Getting choked with fibrewire
– Getting shot
– Getting cut up with chainsaws and katanas
– Getting hurled from fifteenth story windows
– Getting their hair caught in a waterwheel and dragged backwards over it repeatedly until dead from drowning or broken neck
– Getting slowly crushed in the gears of a giant music box
– Getting shot

…JUST THE SAME as the role of men in videogames. DO YOU SEE HOW THAT WORKS, girls, or are you too busy playing Da Urbz on your pastel pink DS?

Good old Konami! Supporting the contentious “women in games” issue with wrestling game Rumble Roses XX for Xbox 360. See? There are LOADS of women in games. What the hell are these moaning lesbians on about?

It’s Rumble Roses XX on Xbox 360. It’s got hot bitches in it, so we’ll probably end up going on about it loads, then taking lots of screenshots of gussets and cleavages when the game eventually appears on Bittorrent, then uploading them with the sort of sexist comments not seen since women were given the right to speak in the 1970s. God, we’re getting predictable.

This update is entirely for the benefit of those who use NewsNow. It’s sort of a joke about the bottom-feeders of the news-gathering scene who just copy news off other sites all day as their main job that they get paid for. It’s too hot in the office to think it through any more than that.

Just scroll down and look at all those whopping tits, then come back tomorrow for a joke about LAN parties.

A bunch of Las Vegas hookers ranging from $100 to $250 an hour for a full service (A-levels, CIM, French, oral W/O) have applied to be the living embodiment of Everquest II box-art-girl Antonia Bayle.

And they’ve all got HUGE MONSTER TITS! If this is what they mean by “getting more women into games”, we’re ALL FOR IT!

This is probably the only time it’s ever been cool to work for IGN. Look, some quite pretty girls have been told that THEIR ONLY JOB FOR TODAY is to smile at you. Your self-esteem would rocket up from minus ten to minus five, or perhaps even zero (until you get home and accidentally look in a mirror).

Imagine if you worked for IGN. You’d work with fat, over-confident, loud American teenagers in an office that STINKS of sweat and last night’s dried-up spunk, and you’d only talk about the relative merits of Xbox 360 and PlayStation3 all day, perhaps pausing to sit in silence and play World of Warcraft while eating potato chips for an hour at lunch time. Then, one day, you get sent out to take photos of THESE!

It’s like if UbiSoft had a bigger budget for hiring Frag Dolls. Aleks Krotoski isn’t going to like this, it’s set back the cause of “women in games” by at least a decade. Well done, sexist MMORPG boffins!

LOADS MORE GRINNING, FAKE-TANNED WHORE PHOTOS HERE:
IGN: Antonia Finalists Dazzle in Vegas

“We’ll be pretty much just playing Halo 2 and Pro Evo all day” said clan founder Damien Dvorjees, aka AMBASSADOR_KOSH on Xbox Live, aka COMMANDER SINCLAIR on Starcraft, aka ZATHRUS on World of Warcraft and aka LONDO MOLARI on Guild Wars.

“This joke has probably already been done by The Onion, but we can’t be bothered to check” said clan second-in-command Michael Zorg, on the clan’s official blog.

We’ve come into possession of some brand new, never-seen-before screens of Sega’s upcoming sequel to Feel the Magic (aka Project Rub) for Nintendo DS.

It looks fantastic!

The game utilises the Nintendo DS stylus — poke it in and out of the microphone socket to get the girl excited.

Wi-Fi compatibility lets a friend join in!

Sega’s kooky visual style is as impressive as ever.

Thanks to Virtua Tennis World Tour on PSP:

Then we’re going to imagine Maria Sharapova doing “powerful strokes” for a bit.

INITIAL IMPRESSIONS:
JESUS GOD WOW!!! SONY ROCKS! PSP RULES! 50/10

Just get one of these and a bit of wire or straightened-out coathanger:

PRO TIP: Try to get one that comes with a “remote control” for the convenience of changing channel from the comfort of your sofa.

8231 hits for people saying “Why is there no cosplay porn?” on forums.

1023948 hits for “PORN COSPLAY ANIME FUCK RAPE HENTAI SNUFF ASS GANGBANG” and so forth.

29347 hits for “Welcome to cosplayporn.com, the premier web search and information resource on the internet!”

359312 hits for “This page is under construction. Cosplayporn.com is coming soon! Reserve this domain name NOW!”

236 hits for the Ulala thing we did a few months ago.

9834 hits for people who stole the idea and linked it on their blogs.

450 hits for videos and DVDs of suicidally uncomfortable Japanese girls dressing up as nurses, schoolgirls and tennis players culminating in the removal of their underwear and the disappearance of their abdomen in a snowstorm of digital mosaic.

This.

This is what it’s come to. You can’t even use the internet to find PORN any more. It’s not as if we ask much. Freedom. The pursuit of happiness. JPGs of Shenhua and Nozomi impaled on a double-ended length of plastic.

Ryo can bring the pizza in.