E3: SEGA INNOVATES!

Look! It’s a new 2D Sonic game for Nintendo DS called Sonic Rush!

Look! It’s “forgotten classic” arcade game Sonic the Fighters as part of the Sonic Gems collection!

Look! It’s Richard Jacques breakout game Sonic R, also a part of Sonic Gems. Oddly, Sonic Gems is only confirmed for Gamecube in the US and Europe and PlayStation2 in Europe. No Xbox? No Euro GC launch? Weird, but still AMAZINGLY COOL!

LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! It’s Sonic CD from Sega Gems! This really ruins the massive Sonic CD update we’ve been creating!

Look! It’s a 15-year-old retro game remade for mobile phone!

Awesome! This sort of retro business is OK when Sega does it!

E3 RUNNING TOTAL: +10

E3: NINTENDO INNOVATES!

Look. It’s Mario playing football in Super Mario Strikers:

Look. It’s Mario dancing in Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix:

Look. The lead character of Zelda Twilight Princess looks a bit different than before.

Look. It’s the same thing in another different case.

Abysmal. Nintendo sucks these days :(

E3 RUNNING TOTAL: -10

E3 STARTING TO GET ANNOYING NOW.

Game journalists, STOP! Step away from the keyboard. We do not want to read another report about how AMAZING!! the PS3 is or how it OUTCLASSED!!! the XBOX 360. Don’t you remember the PS1 launch? Have you learnt nothing? Did you PLAY any of those games at E3? Or did you just watch them on a screen? Look up the words TECH and DEMO and then tell us how good PS3 really is in 9 months time.

PLAYSTATION 3 SPEC — LIE WATCH!

This image of “Motorstorm” is what Sony says its PlayStation 3 is capable of. Save this picture. Keep it. Print it out and carry it around with you. Burn it to a CD in case your hard drive goes. Stick it up on your wall…

…because when the machine comes out WE WILL BE CHECKING to see if this “screenshot” is from a game or, more likely, NOT.

We’re not putting up with being lied to AGAIN.

UK GOVERNMENT — PLAYING FOR RESPECK

You can’t move for “respect up” bonuses :(

BBC NEWS | Politics | ‘Respect’ key to Blair third term

E3 SAVED: PS3 CONTROLLER PIC “LOOKS STUPID” :)

Great news! There’s NO WAY ON EARTH PlayStation3 will do anything with a controller like that!

:)

E3 RUNNING TOTAL: +10

PS3 — ANOTHER OFFICIAL PIC!

This is really exciting! It’s past our bedtime and everything!

COPYING DREAMCAST COLOUR! EVIL SONY!

The Full Official Press Release is over at our spazzy gonzo gadget blog Idiot Toys to, er, help share the bandwidth.

PS3 — OFFICIAL PHOTO!

Seeing as Sony’s press site has just crashed. Think of this as a public service post for those in need of bandwidth.

THE FACE OF YOUR ENEMY!

E3 DISASTER: SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS NOT “A JOKE” :(

“The SEGA title is currently in development at SEGA Studio USA, under the direction of Takashi Iizuka, lead developer of Sonic Adventure, Sonic Adventure 2/ Battle, and Sonic Heroes”

:(

E3 RUNNING TOTAL: 0

E3 SAVED: PS2 RESIDENT EVIL 4 LOOKS RUBBISH :)

“Man the colors are all wrong. They’re either washed out or way too deep. Jaggies, etc. Overall disappointing”

:)

E3 RUNNING TOTAL: +1