Our update about how rubbish is it to be a games tester got the following response, from someone who knows how rubbish it is to be a Nokia N-GAGE tester.

These people work in Hell, which we can exclusively reveal is located just outside Brighton.

This advert is a temp agency advertising for Babel Media. Babel Media in Hove, Brighton are the sole UK testers of N-GAGE SOFTWARE. There is a special room for N-Gage testing called the “Nokia Lab”. Nokia have DEMANDED that *NO* N-Gages or code or anything leave the room, nor any electronics of any kind (laptops, computers, USB sticks, the works) ENTER the room. You can’t even take a bag in. The room has CCTV and electronic locking devices, Metal Gear Solid style. Even Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo all let debug and test hardware roam around an open plan office as long as it is locked up at night.

No food or drink is allowed in this room. N-Gages have to be logged and checked at all times. And get this: if the MMC needs to be removed (old style, before the QD revision) for any reason, Babel Media are required to FILM THE N-GAGE BEING OPENED on VIDEO CAMERA and have two signed witnesses sign the video tape. You cannot use a witness more than once.

One of the Technical Requirements of N-Gage software is that the game must not run at more than 24 fps. Another is that software cannot require more than two buttons to be pressed at once. Every other week and on random occasions, men from Nokia arrive to check conditions. They wear black suits and sunglasses, ala Men In Black. They still haven’t spotted the irony of the MIB2 poster on the wall.

I swear on Ed Lomas’ life that all the above is true, but if you reprint any of this, please don’t print my name. Call me “Jason Ho” or something.

Jesus, it’s only an N-GAGE game not anything actually important.

Thank you Jason Ho, for exposing the shame of the N-GAGE regime. If you have a regime you’d like to expose the shame of, please email in. There’s a link down there to the right. Thanks, and we won’t get you sacked by saying who you are (unless your name is Jason Ho, in which case we are sorry).