Life is worth living again! We’re happy! It’s like being back on the Prozac/Zoloft combination therapy! Every day brings a new Sony DISASTER, as PlayStation3 morphs into more of a joke by the second. 425 pounds! A remake of an old PS2 racer as its ‘main game’! A rubbish controller copied off Nintendo! Blu-Ray no one wants! Executives who brand it “a bargain” and think it’s above criticism and that we should be grateful it’s launching a new PlayStation at all!

Every day we wake up invigorated, desperate to see the latest in PS3 comedy disintegration. We’ll be triumphantly hoisting PlayStation’s bleeding corpse into the air yet.

And then there are the games.

PS3 Tekken 6, circa May 2005

This, 12 months ago, was what Tekken 6 was going to look like.

PS3 Tekken 6, circa May 2006

This is what Tekken 6 looks like today. Next year, when it comes out, it’ll look like a third-party Dreamcast game like all the rest of the piss-poor PS3 stuff shown at E3. Seeing this breathes life into our souls! Yeah, Sony, carry on begging those third-parties to pretend their multi-format games are exclusive to PS3 so your game line-up doesn’t look like such a disaster. It won’t make a difference.

Tekken 6 - GOTY

Still, women get punched in the stomach in it, so it’s not that bad.