This is of a Sonic The Hedgehog napkin.

And just in case the first photo wasn’t good enough, the sender sent in an additional second photo. Because the one thing we all really need is a spare photo of some Sonic The Hedgehog napkins.

This is a fake Sonic badge someone found at a craft fair. SEGA’s lawyers need to crack down on this shit, to stop churches funding their roof repairs via illegally produced merchandise.

Someone’s business card. She is called Annie Sega! If you married her, your name would be… oh no, that’s not how it works.

What the sender described as “Sonic boots” but it frankly could be anything.

Sonic endorsing fireworks.

A Sonic car.

Really rubbish SEGA graffiti. “My friend and I saw this on our way home from school the other day. He took the picture on his telephone. I thought it might be evidence of some guerrilla advertising from SEGA! Notice the lack of crotch on sonic and the penis to his right”.

This is a scan of newspaper comic ‘Striker’ that someone’s been sitting on for “four or five” years. It shows a SEGA Saturn advert in the paper the girls are holding. It’s amazing what people see and keep.

And this is an Indesit washing machine manual that features a logo that looks a bit like the Dreamcast swirl. That’s all for today.

Is it the spires? The car? The blue sky?

No, it’s not this bit.

It’s not this bit.

Nor is it this bit.

Or this.

It’s THIS bit! They sort of copied Sonic and blacked him up a bit to make him their tyre-repairing mascot. How well did you do?

He was bored enough to send it. We were bored enough to upload it. You’re bored enough to be looking at it. The sooner AIDS or North Korea or cancer puts us all out of our miseries the better.

If you click on it it’s readable. Not bearable, mind.

As if Sony wasn’t ripping us off enough to fund its extinction-level Blu-ray disasterplan, the usual insane pre-ordering system means everyone in the world now wants a PS3 – to sell on to someone a bit lower down the stupid chain. And then use the profit to buy a Wii and the entire Wii launch line-up and some trainers and maybe a new TV if you charge a lot for postage.

It’s also not ideal to stick your phone number on the internet, lest people phone you up because some stupid web site said its readers should phone you up and make laughing sounds down the line.

He appears to be wearing a huge prosthetic vagina.

Inevitably, there’s now a clip of it happening on YouTube.

This is the quite coherent and properly spelt comment from the person who mailed it in: “It seems the goal of this game is to examine girls with the touchpen in order to prove if the girl is a witch or not. I’m no expert in witch trials but according to the screenshots working out if someone is a witch seems to mainly involve stripping her off and doing wrong things to her. Also, Japanese witches seem mainly to be school girls. If Trevor wants to do a documentary about videogames being a force for evil, I’d suggest he starts here.”

It would appear a Wii version is also planned, should the DS game successfully expand the rapist game demographic enough to make it financially viable.