WAR NEWS: SPAIN, FRANCE AND ITALY LIBERATED FROM EVIL SONY WAR MACHINE! EUROPE CLEANSED FURTHER! ENEMY NOW IN FULL RETREAT!
Our European cousins, for so long under the evil Sony cosh, have united as one and OUSTED THE TYRANNY OF EVIL from their glorious lands! No longer are they blindly paying the equivalent RRP of £299 for a shite console based around making films look marginally better than before if you sit near the screen.
Or, to put it sensibly so today’s news-aggregating-media outlets can understand after a two-second scan of the facts, Microsoft has just said Xbox 360 is outselling PS3 in France, Spain and Italy. Here’s a link to Eurogamer saying it, as you’re more likely to believe stuff on Eurogamer than on here, AREN’T YOU?
Expect future Sony press releases to concentrate on the performance of the “PlayStation Family” in Denmark during 2008, relative to the performance of the “PlayStation Family” in Denmark during the 1970s.
filed in WAR ON PS3 on Dec.05, 2008
December 5th, 2008 on 12:12 pm
This is excellent news, I’d have a celebratory wank right now but I’m about to go into a meeting and I don’t want my hands to be smelly.
December 5th, 2008 on 12:15 pm
The trick is to coat your cock with moisturising hand wash. That way you clean, moisturise and wank with no extra effort.
December 5th, 2008 on 12:25 pm
I think having your hands smelling of cock would be an advantage in the manly world of high level business meetings. After the powerful handshake your boss gives you he’ll notice the scent and give you an aggressive “Power-Smirk”.
You’re now part of the inner circle.
December 5th, 2008 on 12:34 pm
My boss doesn’t wash his hands when he’s been to the loo, can’t comment on what he does after…no, I can’t say it, I’m feeling queasy enough as it is.
Suffice to say, no-one in the office wants to touch his keyboard or mouse.
Or his cock.
December 5th, 2008 on 12:44 pm
Trousers down … happy Friday has returned!!
Forget Denmark too Sony, they don’t want their Animal Porn on DRM crippled Blu-Ray, even if they would enjoy seeing a donkeys cock at 1080p.
Eastern Europe is the way to go, sell them some western style sophistication I can see them doing a Moldovan special to shift their inventory – one PS3 for two kilo’s of spuds.
December 5th, 2008 on 1:23 pm
As a Dane I can happily report that Sony is dying around here faster than you can say “revenge”. 360 sales are well beyond 2:1 relative to the pathetic PS2,5.
Victory is ours!
December 5th, 2008 on 1:51 pm
Google news has 322 related stories on this PS3 Chrimbo carnage that Sony faces.
Top of the pile is the FT who have a story title “Wii wish you a Merry Xbox” – Fucking genius or what! Zorg needs to brush up on his copywriting skills. Just shoving out a webpage with blokes moustaches and dreamcast cups is no good if you want to rise to top of the pile on google news.
“Wii wish you a Merry Xbox” – It’s clever, it’s funny, it’s concise. It kicks Sony in the nuts. Proper journalism!
http://blogs.ft.com/techblog/2008/12/wii-wish-you-a-merry-xbox/
Now if they’d only get 20000×15000 resolution pics of Gemma Atkinson and Girls Aloud on the FT, I’d get my coat and never come back.
December 5th, 2008 on 2:12 pm
It’s a shame they don’t make “Only Fools and Horses” anymore. It’d only be a matter of time before Delboy was trying to flog a Playstation 3 to Trigger or Denzel.
December 5th, 2008 on 2:21 pm
Even Trigger would cotton on to what a pile of shite Sackboy is though!
December 6th, 2008 on 7:00 am
Huzzah! Huzzah!
So much closer to complete victory, then we can get to the war crimes Sony has perpetrated on the general populace.
December 6th, 2008 on 11:34 am
Finally a good news coming out from my homecountry of Italy!
No more playstations!!
December 6th, 2008 on 11:41 am
Sony is getting desperate.
conspiracy theory alert
Did anyone see the CGI Resident Evil movie. It’s called RE Degeneration. It is produced under Sony movies and the bad company this time is Wilpharma. the Wil in Wilfarma has a font that resembles a lot the Wii font and it is in a green and white logo. The first time I saw it I directly had to thing about the Wii.
I won’t spoil anything about the movie so you’ll have to see for yourself.
too lazy to log in anatak
December 6th, 2008 on 2:01 pm
Just wait until Spiderman 3 comes out, then you’ll see an increase in PS3 sales thanks to the tie-in with the font. Then as soon as Blu-Ray takes off, sales will be through the roof. And once Metal Gear Solid 4 hits you’ll all be left trying to buy a PS3 off ebay for $4,000 because you can’t find them anywhere in the shops. And when Little Big Planet ‘drops’ later this year it’s going to be a system seller.
Man that guy who got shot waiting in line for a PS3 must be wishing they finished the job.
December 6th, 2008 on 7:42 pm
You are all laughing now, but you just wait until LBP 2 arrives in Q4 2011. THEN we’ll see who’s laughing.
December 6th, 2008 on 10:46 pm
Probably Q8 2011 I woulda thought.
P.s. Sonic is still on the 404 page, looking happy and not with crosses for eyes.
December 7th, 2008 on 5:06 pm
Sheesh I remember when I was a kid and the love for the Saturn was the one in Portugal and I was proud to be here. Now we’re probably the only country in Europe besides the western part that still has Sony as the major one and still going strong :
84/100 games are Sony’s, but as a bonus, 50% PS2, 22% PSP, 12% PS3, so lol at the Blu-Ray player getting no love. Still this is miserable. :'(
December 7th, 2008 on 8:06 pm
Can we officially declare victory now? MGS4 and LBP were the Last Hopes for Sony and they both flopped miserably. The last straw will be when the media (and lawyers) cotton on to the firmware scam which randomly bricks PS3’s enabling Sony to rip off the cutomer with $150 repairs, a sneaky way to get back some of the revenue hit they take with selling the piece of shit at a loss.
December 7th, 2008 on 11:08 pm
I can’t wait for LBP2.
Continuing Sony’s evil ploy of Knocking off what Sega do, I predict it will ship on 5 discs (one more than Panzer Dragoon saga).
Their Clockwork Knight version.1.5 will crush all in it’s wake, for one week at least, Before slipping to number 46 in the charts and being outsold 10 to 1 by Wii Knit, a knitting simulator for the senile.
December 9th, 2008 on 11:39 am
It gets better:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7772597.stm