Mucky little Alison Carroll has proved remarkably resilient for a Lara Croft model – here she is from last week, where she was wheeled out, wiped down, propped up, given something to hold and told to trudge through the same old poses YET AGAIN for the pleasure of men who can only make eye contact with her via the security of the 2.4″ LCD monitor on the digital camera.

Alison Carroll, still looking enthusiastic and drugs-free

Disgustingly smudged screen. This is why women shouldn’t be allowed to have expensive technology. They get Vaseline over EVERYTHING.

Alison Carroll, still looking enthusiastic and drugs-free

Have you ever used a computer after a woman? The mouse always smells of flowers, there are greasy thumb marks on the space bar and what looks like specks of yogurt on the screen.

Alison Carroll, still looking enthusiastic and drugs-free

For the first two years, all new household gadgets must be exclusively used by the male in the house. Only then, when they’re already a bit grimy, can women be allowed to get hand cream and assorted moisturisers all over them.

Alison Carroll, still looking enthusiastic and drugs-free

She’s holding up well, isn’t she? That looks like a proper, genuine smile, not the sort of fake, lifeless dead-eyed grin we’ve come to associate with people who work full-time within the video game industry.

Alison Carroll, still looking enthusiastic and drugs-free

Right. That’s it. You’ve had TWO porn updates in a row, now. So tomorrow it’s spiral time. More spirals that you can possibly imagine. Spiral curtains. Spiral mugs. Spiral lamps. That’s the deal.

PREVIOUS STALKING ACTION

  • Foreign telly OUTRAGE
  • Corridor spycam EXCLUSIVE
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  • “Crotch-gate”