Did we ever use these pictures? Seems like the sort of thing we would’ve been all over with the enthusiasm of a rottweiler in a pork pie factory, but there’s no trace of them in the archives. We have a zipped folder of 22 of these beauties just sitting here.

Here’s a photo of a 24-year-old marketing account manager wondering why Sony & Disney both think she wants to play “Hannah Montana: Rock Out the Show”.

Hopefully, at this very moment, a fresh bunch of attractive German full-body models are converging upon a recently renovated rented loft apartment at the request of Sony Computer Entertainment to pose for a batch of PSP Go “lifestyle” shots.

Don’t get too excited. More than half the photos in the newly-discovered folder are of men clenching their fists and doing a “COME ON! I bloody LOVE this extension of the PlayStation brand!” face, which is why the zip file has spent the last two years languishing in a folder.

And now for the key change and some exclamation marks – there’s a new thing being made in the SEGA Toys factory of dreams!

It’s called the Uchiagehanabi. That name’s going to hurt export sales. It projects fireworks on the ceiling. It would appear that SEGA Toys development team has got stuck in a bit of a rut of only making things that project lights onto ceilings. Don’t let us be misunderstood here – we like lying on carpets looking at pretty lights, but it’s probably about time SEGA Toys got a new idea. We are ready for change.

And this looks RUBBISH.

Stolen from here, with additional pictures and videos available here – but there’s not much happening on the official product page.

That was a lot of tabs we had open at once, there. Nearly got confused and gave up on the whole thing.

Just ignore the machine gun. This game is for PlayStation owners. They won’t even pick the box up in the shop if it hasn’t got a machine gun on it.

There’s one of Ayane on Sony’s PlayStation Blog Flickr page. She’s only supposed to be 15, apparently, according to Ninja Gaiden “canon”. A couple of things about her look a bit older. A couple of things about her look like 45-year-old northern massage parlour employee. Her tits do. They are big.

Blacked-out windows. Padlock on door. A seemingly innocent scene mirrored in gardens across the country. But the contents list of this shed is not lawnmower, shears, spare garden chair, broken strimmer and dishevelled prostitute – it’s a SEGA RELATED shed.

“Behold my shed painted a ‘shit brown’ colour. While most men choose to fill their sheds with tools or a collection of soft porn mags, I have decided to make mine the smallest arcade in the England.”

“Inside sits my stand-up Daytona USA cabinet. I call it ‘Vanessa Feltz’ because it weighs over 200kg. I won’t power it up because that would be too exciting for the average UK Resistance reader.”

“Conforming to UK Resistance rules of getting closer in each photo I have engaged the zoom facility on my camera to show you how much it would be to play if you ever came to my shed. Anyone with less than a pound will be sent away.”

“As you can see I currently have only 40p to my name and cannot afford to play this amazing game. I was hoping other UK Resistance users could spare 60p out of there Jobseeker Allowance/Money they make from selling drugs in a council bedsit/Money they make in prison making postage sacks or whatever it is they do. Thanks” – Rex Everything.