Archive for May, 2010:

SEGA SATURN IN THE MODERN MEDIA, A VERY OCCASIONAL SERIES

Apparently, there’s a new game around called Alpha Protocol. It’s technically “by” SEGA, as in it’ll be SEGA sending it out to the shops, then SEGA that processes all the returns nine months later, then SEGA that admits it wasn’t a particularly good idea in an interview in Edge magazine 18 months later and that it’s also refocusing efforts on the latest micro-trend instead.

But anyway. There’s a SEGA Saturn in it.

saturn alpha protocol

Play, which is where we find out about games nowadays due to having pretty much totally “lapsed,” says Alpha Protocol is subtitled “The Espionage RPG” which is about the least-thrilling description imaginable. Apart from, perhaps, “Squad-based Espionage Management RPG”.

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HOT ‘THREE IN A BED’ DREAMCAST ACTION

Obviously not what you were hoping for. It’s not even that photo of the girl without any clothes on with only a Dreamcast covering her bits that we get emailed about once a week.

It’s a man’s TV.

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“Flicking through TV channels on Wednesday night, I caught the end of something called ‘Three in a Bed‘, which unfortunately turned out to just be a polite competition between Bed & Breakfast owners.”

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“The end titles showed some of the various nick-nacks and sculptures one of the B&Bs had and suddenly I found I HAD to pause the TV, quickly rewind, pause, wait for codec to realise I didn’t want to look at a blank screen, let it play a bit more, pause it again then grab camera. Took pictures, then left camera on living room windowsill and forgot about it til this morning”

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“Just realised, I hadn’t checked 4OD – Could’ve saved myself a lot of trouble by just pointing you here. Dunno if it’s anywhere earlier in the show, but it’s in the end titles for two seconds at 47:27″ – GigerPunk.

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The EXIF examination reveals the shots were taken using an extremely boutique Konica Minolta DiMAGE Z5 camera. Does anyone want to attempt identifying the make & model of TV by estimating pixel counts and cross-referencing the data with placement of the power LED?

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AND WHAT IS SEGA ABOUT THIS?

This seemingly non-SEGA-related scene of publicly-demonstrated national pride is taken from Norway’s National Day celebrations. But can you spot what is supposed to be SEGA about it?

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Sent in by an “Alexander” who added, knowingly, “If you post this you must be desperate”.

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Did you get it? The correct answer is that boy in the blue jumper is a lifelong SEGA fan and is therefore unable to make eye-contact with other human beings.

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PHOTO RETOUCHING WASN’T UP TO MUCH IN 1995

Model’s body rendered by Model 2 arcade board, face handled by Saturn.

sega saturn naked lady

Sent in by “Andy” as a mere afterthought in an email mostly about the faces of businessmen for elsewhere on the network.

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HIPSTER YOUTH BAND DRAWS REFERENCES FROM GLORIOUS SEGA PAST

At least, we think that’s what this is all about. We’re not entirely sure about things that reference youth culture and Tumblr.

mgmt album cover

“Popular New York hipster band MGMT recently released their blockbuster second album ‘Congratulations’ – the cover art by Anthony Ausgang looks strangely familiar” – Joe.

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ALTERNATIVE ANGLES AND IMAGERY OF THE ‘SEGA REPUBLIC’ IN DUBAI

One of our semi-regular, globe-trotting contributors who’s sent in sightings of exotic batteries from at least three of the globe’s corners, has recently stopped off in Dubai – where he visited the mighty SEGA Republic.

He didn’t provide much in the way of commentary.

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“Apologies in advance if this was already sent in by someone else ages ago. An otherwise dull stop in at Dubai, but I discovered a SEGA Republic at one of the big malls.”

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“Hope the pictures are worth the three euros I had to spend to just get in. PS: I skipped over the batteries because I thought you were done with that :(” – KEXP.

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At least SEGA has hit upon a new money-making scheme – charging people to get into a place. Then it doesn’t matter how miserable and empty it is inside.

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Photos taken with a Panasonic Lumix DMC-FX01.

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This photo taken while looking up.

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He then walked around and took this one. It really is like being there, and we didn’t even have to spend three euros to enjoy this virtual tour.

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And let’s end on a low note.

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REAL TRIGGERS (TM) FOR PS3 (R)

A man ventured into Currys. Is that still what men do? Is Currys still men looking at TVs and game boxes?

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“I was perusing the shelves of my local Currys Digital at lunchtime when I came across this little beauty. I for one am delighted that ‘Gioteck’ is offering those ‘serious about their gaming’ the chance to make their dualshit controllers useable. You really couldn’t make it up” – Yiggy.

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This makes Gioteck an ACCESSSORY to Sony’s crimes. And that’s meant to be a joke.

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“ONE SIZE FITS MOST ADULTS”

Amazingly, this piece of shit is out of stock.

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Out of stock because of a fire at the distributors, we’d hope.

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ANOTHER GAMES T-SHIRT COMPANY WANTS A FREE ADVERT

This one said we could have a free t-shirt as a reward…

videogametees leave me alone now

But there’s nothing there for us. We don’t really want to walk around the local area with a three-year-old Eurogamer forum in-joke emblazoned upon our chest. See if there’s something in there for you here. They do at least appear to be competently produced to a Western standard.

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FROM THE ARCHIVES – MEGA CD PORN

If you weren’t sitting on that same chair staring at that same wall while reading this same site 10 years ago, you won’t have seen this. No idea why she’s getting so excited by the cheap second-generation redesign:

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Don’t remember where it came from. Probably from “the internet.” Those memories have long since been overwritten. The computer says the image was last modified on July 15th of the year 2000.

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