Utter, utter, utter, utter, utter, complete, utter, utter, utter, total, utter, utter MISERY.

Editorially speaking, we have refrained from using the word “cunt” on the main page for reasons of decency. But now might be the time to introduce it into common parlance.

Still better than the current output of Three Speech, though.

Electronic Arts, in a staggering display of ineptitude not seen since it decided not to support the Dreamcast, managed to lose $641m in Q3 2008, despite releasing FIFA, Madden, Need for Speed, Spore, Rock Band and more last year.

It’s OK. Gemma will be issuing relief in 2009.

From this lot, who neglected to mention that it’s the not-supporting-Dreamcast decision at the root of it all.

A man, presumably fully-grown, made some Sonics out of snow because he was too metrosexual to go out in the snow in his expensive trainers yesterday. He may have given away enough information about his whereabouts in these photos for someone to track down where he lives.

He must live in 61 or 63.

“As I can not go to work today I built two Sonic heads to protect me from evil sales people today. Hope you like the pictures and I hope you like my camera” – RyokoSparda.

He used a Panasonic Lumix TZ3, which is a pretty aspirational piece.

Sony’s had a new idea. It wants people to generate their own lifestyle photography of how much FUN it is playing PlayStation. Sony no doubt thinks this idea will “go viral” and be a smash.

It’s here. You might want to spend a fun afternoon sending in photos of Japanese men in suits sobbing while looking at financial projections and composing redundancy letters.

This one is non-ironically titled “PlayStation PlayaZ 4-EVER“. It sums up everything about why we are still FIGHTING and why we will NEVER STOP FIGHTING until the world has been CLEANSED.

A girl, not being very good. Or interested. Very PlayStation.

Achingly lifestyle. PlayStation isn’t just for cocks, it’s also for bored mums to stare at in mild confusion after a bottle and a half of wine. It’s the new Nintendo Wii.

We’re thinking of declaring war on all animals and the entire internet next. We wouldn’t stand a chance, but would go down fighting, and if we could take down a few hundred smug cats with us it will be worth it.

Reader spotted what appeared to be a Dreamcast being played during “procedural” cop drama CSI.

“I was watching CSI on Living last night at about 11:30 and I noticed that at one point the characters were playing a two-player American football game on the Dreamcast. I don’t have any pictures or evidence of this, so you’ll have to take my word for it. I only emailed you to tell you because your blog has meant that I now look for meaningless Dreamcast related items wherever I am, and I know that you probably get off on reading these sort of emails because it makes you feel really big and powerful and popular” – MM.

SEGA Toys does it again, with the Love Trainer. A perfectly targeted product for those (a) unfamiliar with how to do sex and (b) into SEGA products.

It’s like we were all involved in the planning stages.

An apparently Serbian web site says Virtua Tennis 2009 is a product that’ll be coming out soon. There’s no other mention of it on the entire internet, though, so it might just be a Serbian joke.

Here’s a photograph of Ana Ivanovic, who the hopefully reliable Serbian gaming webmasters say is going to be in it.

If it’s real, it’s the first game of 2009 we’re excited about. And will be one of about three we’ll play.

Overall sales DOWN! Profit DOWN! Hardware sales DOWN! Software sales DOWN! Everything DOWN, DOWN, DOWN!

Apart from the price, which it can’t lower because if it did it’d have to sack a few thousand more office cleaners to help pay for it.

Full facts on Sony’s DISASTER here, summary taken from emerging markets gaming blog VG247. Here’s a link to a serious report in case you need one. And another one. We can’t stop reading different angles!

Oh, and Kotaku‘s got a graph. You can never have enough sources when the news is this good.

A reader who was presumably pissed and trying to buy a year’s supply of poppers off the internet, found this.

“I have no fucking idea what ‘chain’ of internet browsing lead me to this, but, when I came across it I thought of UK:R. It might do as an update if you guys have nothing exciting to post. Regards” – ANON.

Here’s a great measure of how lost and confused Sony and its collaborating “retail partners” are regarding PS3 – a novel way of charging *more* for everyone’s least-favourite toss-box by making it gold. Yes, that’s it. People aren’t buying PS3 because it doesn’t come in gold.

See the incredible 329 euro ($12,979, US readers) BEAN BAG. Also see how Finland is just getting into the whole “bling” thing eight years after the rest of the world.

“Days after announcing record losses and in the middle of a global economic meltdown, Sony offer this fine example of just how out of touch they are – see attached – a scan of a special offer currently running at a local electronics chain. I don’t speak much Finnish so I can’t tell you what all the text says, but hey, the story pretty much writes itself. Or more accurately, you’ll write the story. By the way, I can tell you that the PS3 isn’t really gold. It’s just stickers on top of a normal black PS3” – James.