“The only good thing is the graphics are older Sonic and not newer Sonic, so they got that right at least. It’s all about branding and demographics and making the kids happy with their overpriced Orange fuck phones” – Tenno.

“Some time ago, a bit tired of watching so many videos of people playing Mario music on the piano, I made one in which I played all the themes from the game Sonic The Hedgehog. Now Shazomei, another pianist who loves 16-bit Sonic music, has made another in which he plays all the music from Sonic The Hedgehog 2. I hope you enjoy them” – GoriFater.

“I am concerned by your new-found interest in the spiral. Can I point you in the direction of manga and the film “Uzumaki”? It’s a cursory tale, warning of this obsession. Basically, everything in some town gets fucked up into a big spiral (sorry if that spoils it for anyone). Yours Faithfully, Gas.”

To celebrate the launch of Pure, the people paid to ensure commoners like us are aware of its existence got some men to go upside down near some quad bikes.

This is a bit like what the game is about. That’s the idea behind it.

This ought to be making the general public excited. This photo is presumably meant to get included in London Lite tonight, or Metro on Monday morning, under the headline “Parkour craze hits London!”

That’s a remarkably relaxed face for a man who’s upside down near one of the most dangerous inventions known to man.

You should see the state of the ones we didn’t use. 2/10.

“Alright there! Just thought I share this SEGAGAGA clip I stumbled across on YouTube. Stumbled across around 11pm with my pants down, that’s how f**kin’ ace this clip is. It’s a mini game from one of the last great Dreamcast games ever, SGGG! The whole idea of the game is to destroy SEGA’s history. Make sure you watch it right till the end (with a few boxes of Kleenex) and keep a look out for the quality Mega Drive 32X CD intro” – Lo.

And since everyone’s going to say this is a shit update as it’s just a link to a YouTube video, here’s another one.

They will also stop you from complaining that one of the steering wheels on Daytona USA isn’t very responsive any more.

They will stop you complaining about having to wait five minutes for a go on Street Fighter IV.

They will also stop you complaining about having to pay £2 for a go on OutRun2.

They will stop you complaining about the fierce punch button being a bit temperamental.

They will stop you complaining about the state of the decor.

They will make you happy to not be in North Korea.

And then sad about the people in North Korea.

But then happy again about not being in North Korea.

Sent in by a man who we’d better not refer to by name. Thanks very much, Mr Mystery!

Three cute mascots in one photo? That’s overkill.

“Whilst browsing through a tiny shop in central Beijing last month, I decided to get a new toothbrush. A quick glance around and this horrendous artefact jumped out and prompted a photograph from yours truly. Notice the wispy white beard, the long tail and disgusting bulge at the back of his head” – Adam.

Nuke China. This shame must be stopped.

You can download it here. It’s an executable file for a PC. We have tried it and nothing bad seemed to happen to the computer. It did insist on downloading some DirectX components, but on the plus side it didn’t attempt to dial a premium-rate sex chat line that terminates in Brazil.

The EU Bikini Rule (1994) earns this batch an automatic 10/10.

“This caught my eye at Cardiff Airport on the way to Edinburgh – two arcades in the airport. The first with Sega Rally in, and the second with ManxTT and OutRun2. Awesome.”

“My missus did seem to think that the Wii release of Samba de Amigo was all fresh and exciting and that. I would have kicked the arse out of making the point that the Dreamcast was about about half a billion years before its time, but frankly I could have done without the hassle for the rest of the day. Take it easy!”

This one came in from a separate source. A man called “Daniel” gives us a slightly wider angle. This does not make us want to go anywhere near Cardiff Airport.