Here’s a report on a gaming event. Yes really. And no, not by us. The photographs were taken on a mobile phone so it’s kind of hard to understand what’s really happening, but he put the effort in so ought to be rewarded.

In summary – he expected way too much from a fan-organised retro event.

OPENING PREAMBLE:

“When I heard SEGA would have an exhibit stand at R3PLAY Arcade, Retro & Videogaming event I could only think of one place to send a review of it. However they declined and gave me a link to your site instead. The event is held in Blackpool, sometimes referred to as the UK’s version of ‘Las Vegas’ (If Las Vegas was hit by an earthquake, then a missile strike and all the refugees had to wear tracksuits it’s a fair comparison).

“All pictures taken on my shitty old Samsung phone.”

“According to the floor plan this is the SEGA booth. Times must be tough when you can’t even afford a sign, so instead it’s a poster of Sonic 4 and a flipchart using at least 2 COLOURS to advertise its wares.”

“Such savvy marketing manages to attract five people, however three of them just wanted directions to the Nintendo exhibit.”

“Behold a poorly arranged row of LCD TVs displaying: Xbox Live Trial version of Crazy Taxi (all the pop-up of the DC version but none of the music, later changed to Afterburner), Virtua Fighter 5, two Sega All Star Racings, Mega Drive Version of Virtua Fighter 2 (WTF?!?!), Sonic Episode 1 Xbox Live Trial version. So no Vanquish, Virtual On Force, Sonic Colours, Sonic Free Riders. Just a bunch of old games. Thanks SEGA!”

“SEGA held a competition for you to win every game they release on Xbox, PS3 and PC in 2010! Just get the fastest speedrun on the 1st level of the trail version of Sonic 4. This guy really wants the Mega Drive collection Vol.2 on PC, look at him go! On a positive note there was a Cosmic Smash arcade cabinet on freeplay to remind me of SEGA’s glory days and Xbox 1 LAN multiplayer OutRun setup (None of this setup by SEGA)” – Warp Warp.

Not only are these youths not in bed by midnight, they’re also hanging about on the streets waiting to buy a video game.

They’re only young. They’ll soon learn the futility of it all. Waste the next decade or two then snap out of it, boys.

I’m the one covered in mud and poo because the pigs got out again and their house blew away in the wind last night (not pictured):

You’re all Mr Top-Right. Have fun. It certainly looks like fun.

Thinking about it now with the benefit of hindsight, we always liked Tails best. Particularly the cute little way he used to drop all the rings in the bonus round forcing you to replay the entire game from the beginning, thereby increasing Sonic 2’s replayabilityness rating.

Good on you, Tails.

“Please find attached the most disturbing/arousing Sonic and Tails outfits from the New York Comic Con. I’m almost certain they leave those costumes on during ‘the business’. At least I hope they do” – Ian.

Feels very wrong playing a 2D Sonic game on a PC, as PCs are usually associated with MISERY and SHOULDER/NECK PAIN and WORK. But it’s out and you can get it here.

It’s a bit weird, but works. It’s nice watching Sonic standing there while the flowers and butterflies bounce around, if that’s not too gay a way for you to spend a Thursday.

Scrabble. For Kindle. Anyone want a review doing? We promise to use the phrase “a moment to learn and a lifetime to master” in the overall summary box.

We’ll turn that EGAL into REGAL with TRAY landing on the double word score for 20 points. Your turn.

It is our sad duty to inform you of this. Be vigilant – the next time someone suggests a bit of “PlayStation link up” they may be referring to linking their genitals to the genitals of your child. Using an improvised adhesive made of saliva and flakes of skin.

If you know of any PlayStation owners, best get out and burn their houses down to force them out of your local community. Just in case. Think of the kids.

…we shall be moving HEAVEN AND EARTH (trying to find a VGA cable) and maybe actually playing Sonic The Hedgehog 4 today.

But only maybe. It’s been a long time since we last held a video game controller, and it may trigger unsettling flashbacks.

You used to have to IMAGINE you were in a boat, or holding a gun, or were the owner of a nice tennis racquet.

Now you buy the plastic. From here, and lots of other places.

A man who used to be affiliated with SEGA mentioned Dreamcast 2 by name. This confirms its existence, although Mr Naka is obviously rather cagey about the whole subject. And is using it to help SHIFT UNITS of his new thing for the Nintendos.

But still.

From here. Thanks to everyone who sent this is. It gained as much “traction” as the Obama Sonic bag.