“Tomorrow’s edition of MCV popped through the letterbox of Kikizo’s global headquarters in Leicester Square today, and when I saw it my eyes nearly melted with spastic orgasm joy. I don’t know why I always get MCV one day before it’s meant to be out – maybe it’s because I’m ace. However, I am clearly not as ace as SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS, and definitely not as ace as this SEGA-sponsored issue of MCV.”

“As you can see by these hastily scanned images of the front and back of the issue, this really is as good as it gets when it comes to SEGA artwork. I think you would even be able to see up Ulala’s skirt, except Amigo’s hat is in the way. But this will still make for a glorious sunny SEGA update on UKR, and will “fit in” nicely with your SEGA SUPERSTARS TENNIS MONTH coverage. I am attaching a couple of different resolutions because you can see the dots in the larger one but I think the users should have choice of resolutions.”

“Hi guys. I went to Felixstowe by mistake and saw this excellent remnant of the early 90s. I hope the town (and surrounding East Anglia) burns down and just leaves this place standing as a monument to how CORRECT everything used to be – Wayne.”

TOMORROW: Derby!

“Took these last summer about 100 miles north of Athens. Unfortunately I have no idea what the funny Greek writing bit means – Nick.”

Sadly, Nick only supplied that one short sentence as explanation. This is not ideal. We now have to think of things to say about three other photos of the same thing from slightly different angles.

He did at least resize his images to 500 pixels wide, so it saved us a bit of work.

TOMORROW: Felixstowe!

THE REAL REASON: “Went to Istanbul, Turkey last week. Went on a boat ride up the Golden Horn waterway to the Black Sea. Passed this boat. Thought you’d might like to see. Comes in limited edition ‘PS3 War Blue’ – fat_glottis.”

Look, someone went to the effort of interrupting their holiday to take these photos. There was no doubt some awkward explaining to do to the wife. So it’d be rude not to use them.

This one is for Glamour magazine to use when it does a feature about My Weight Loss Coach, and how My Weight Loss Coach is really opening up gaming to women.

This one is for FHM. Or the FHM Fashion special they do occasionally. That plastic thing’s a “pedomoter” – which the game uses to count how long you’ve been sitting motionless for.

Stuff magazine might use this one to illustrate the technical aspects of it.

The police will use this one, to illustrate how NOT to carry around your gadgets in urban areas.

Glamour magazine again.

This one was surely just taken for us to take the piss out of, as even having the piss taken out of your product on UKR counts as a beneath-the-line, sub-viral marketing success in some quarters.

This one’s for no one to ever use.

“I was just going through the list of meta keywords used on Sony’s Three Speech sham blog (don’t ask me why) when I noticed something quite peculiar. Among the meta keywords used were the following:

“Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii, HD DVD, Eurogamer, Backward compatability”

“Why any of these words would be used to describe the PS3 is beyond me. Anyway. Thought you’d be interested – James.”

Gemma’s co-hosting Play.com Live with perennial games presenter Iain Lee. We’re not entirely convinced Gemma knows very much about games, but that’s unlikely to have been the main reason she was booked.

“Proof, if it were needed, that the Wii does indeed not make you fit in any way. And don’t judge me for having been to The Sun website, I just go there to read the articles (and find out what’s happening on the latest witch hunt). Cheers – Ben.”

Iain Lee’s got a bit fat.

This is the first time we have ever wanted to “be” Iain Lee.

Imagine how much more relaxing it would be, dear Gemma, if you were to actually turn the fucking TV on. This show is going to be a disaster.

Attending still appeals.

Yes! Gemma hates Iain Lee just as much as we hate Iain Lee! We will add this to the list of things we have in common with Gemma Atkinson: 1. A hatred of Iain Lee.

She has legs, and knows how to use them. We doubt she’s quite as adept with a Wii controller.

Go on, Iain, try to get off with her after the show. It’d be a massive victory for the common and slightly geeky man.

A traumatic 6/10.

“I spotted this in the parking lot of my college, I tried to get a
shot of the fur-suit, but it must have been in the trunk. Enjoy! – Adam McAmis.”

Maybe if it wasn’t Knuckles. Maybe if it was Cream. Maybe if it wasn’t a Volvo. Maybe if it wasn’t an old and poorly repaired Volvo. Error heaped upon error.

Try your luck here!