These are the “distant runner up” cars that aren’t the winners. They’re nice and the effort is definitely appreciated, but we got some better ones in. Sorry about that. We are especially sorry if you sent the design in on a nicely modified car, too.
We understand if the submitters of the below designs feel the need to sign up an anonymous Blogger account and call us cocks in the Comments bit.
This one’s quite poor. It’s hardly about UKR at all. Where does all that blue-green come from? And the wavy lines? When’s UKR ever been about blue/green wavy lines?
This has a certain Soviet-era simplicity to it. It was good, and the first attempt at doing Sonic – but then we got some better ones.
This one’s good. It was one of the first and looked like being a winner for a while. But isn’t, as we got some better ones later. Which was a relief.
Yes, very funny, covered in Microsoft finger prints JUST LIKE OUR BOTTOMS. This one’s just insolent. We’ll have those better ones later today.
Hopefully this is an actual miracle, and isn’t just viral marketing for Xbox Live Arcade Pac-Man. Although putting a crisp in a packet and hoping someone finds it and does some news about it is hopeful at best.
THE HOLY FINDER OF THE CRISP SPEAKS: “I ate some crisps today, and one of them looked a little bit like Pac-Man mid-chomp. So I took a picture and sent it to you in a pointlessly high resolution, as the summer’s coming and you might need something for a really slow news day. The crisps were “McCoys Jackets” and were Melted Cheese and Ham flavour, but they tasted more of fat and MSG. The Pac-Crisp tasted the same as the others. Jim”.
Remember this post about some Spanish people who were planning on sending plastic poo to Sony Europe? No, neither do we. It was filler at best. Anyway, they actually went through with it and posted a box full of fake poo to Sony Europe.
Here’s the proof:
And, seeing as no one believes anything any more unless it’s supplied in video format, here is the proof in video format:
Not entirely sure what’s happening, thanks to the Language barrier and the insanity barrier.
THE ACCOMPANYING LETTER: This is a translation of the letter they sent to Sony alongside the box of poo, seeing as it’s all in Spanish on the web site:
Dear Sir or Madam,
It must be quite hard to open a box and find 45 plastic poos and their corresponding complaints about your company on the inside.
And so is putting up with the way you have been treating European customers: constant delays, overpriced and underfeatured consoles, and so on.
Nothing you are not aware of, we believe.
We at gamerah.com (the videogame website with a highest ratio of atomic lizards per pixel) decided to take one step forward and speak up for your disillusioned customers. We came up with a campaign asking our readers to endorse a plastic poo and have it sent to your office, which you can read here.
The campaign was a success. It looks like people were expecting a chance to get back at you, and you are holding the (soft) evidence in your hands.
We are well aware of the fact that both Sony Spain and SCEE have their hands tied in this matter and the legitimate addressees of this letter are those Japanese businesspeople with small hands and twisted hearts over at SCEI. Thus, we encourage you to forward this parcel to your superiors in the land of the rising sun. We did not translate the complaints into Japanese, but alas, they do not seem to be very concerned about localising their games into our languages either. Even so, we believe they will not have much trouble in understanding the basic idea: one could say a box full of plastic poos speaks for itself.
We hope you do not take this wrong. Having unhappy customers is still much better than having no customers at all. We just feel like broken-hearted, resentful lovers. Most of us have purchased all your consoles and we felt rather let down when the PS3 was finally launched in Europe- perhaps because we had such high expectations about it. To us, booting up your system for the first time was like finding out that the girl of your dreams wears a wig, lacks three front teeth and is actually not a girl, but a male Nintendo fan.
Receive a cordial greeting from us and our readers.
We’ve done enough of theserubbishthings recently, so now it’s your go. Do one. Be funny. Go on.
Here’s the blank:
But what’s he SAYING?! Here’s one we’ve already been sent:
Try to use Verdana at about size 20. Email them in. We’ll upload the best ones and probably the rubbish ones to avoid hurting your precious little feelings as well, next week.
And he clearly spent a lot of time doing it so we pretty much have to upload them, due to being nice like that.
A MAN’S POEMS ABOUT SONY:
there once was a game about buggies that was loved by a bunch of dumb druggies they spent their life savings to fulfill their cravings for a game with a palette like used huggies
there once was a ken kutaragi whose business sense was somewhat foggy he thought consumers would beg to pay an arm and a leg to watch the ballad of ricky bobby
the ps3’s new iteration of character manipulation lets you wave it around which is much more profound an advancement than played-out “vibration”
the ps3’s much-vaunted cell is causing developers hell says sony, “we don’t care, they’ll just use middleware” does the name “saturn” ring a bell?
though sony remains yet defiant and their legions of fanboys compliant i wish they’d take pains to kindly explains why the thing must be so fucking giant
who cares if the loading screen drags and character switches cause lags the ps3’s blu-ray will carry the day ‘cuz hard drive caching is for fags
there once was a game-playing Brit who practically chomped at the bit for the day ps3s would be shipped overseas wait ’til he finds out it’s such shit
killzone 2 was shown at e3 and filled all the masses with glee said phil harrison, “now I’m swearing this is real-time and not a pre-render, no sirree”
the launch of the ps3 must be considered no less than a bust when every best buy has a table stacked high with “new” boxes gathering dust
i’m hardly in microsoft’s lap but the ps3’s lineup is crap when a simplistic, lame converted flash game is ever called a “killer app”
about lair, all the tongues started waggin’ when youtube clips showed massive laggin’ in a game filled with fights against humanoid sprites and an ugly semen-covered dragon
the ps3’s control ports were zero which meant there’d be no guitar hero for jimmy to play, and so since that day, he has felt like a big stupid queero
