For this game you will need two players, each with their own internet connection, plus some strong alcohol of the kind that really wreaks hell on your breath. Both players must roll a dice and then race to read as many sites featuring the words “Industry,” “Journal,” “Lifestyle” and so forth to find an article or post whose first paragraph contains the following.
Roll 1: A sweeping statement written as if it were fact. Example: “The Koreans have long been a nation of animal lovers.”
Roll 2: Speaking as if talking about video games made you some kind of philosophical luminary or something. Example: “We have long considered to validity of the video game as art.”
Roll 3: The writer appointing themselves as the spokesman for an entire demographic, culture or issue. Example: “Gamers such as we have long been disappointed in this area.”
Roll 4: A thoroughly preposterous inference of credit. Example: “Following our mention in the last issue that we went to Torremolinos on holiday once, Technos have unveiled a new fighting game set in Spain.”
Roll 5: A completely subjective opinion which precedes the full text as if it were a bald statement of fact. Example: “SNK have long been considered a poor relation to Capcom.”
Roll 6: A completely unnecessary quotation.
The player who takes longer over the search has to dodge into the company toilets and take a drink. The game then continues, and the overall loser is the first person to receive a written warning.
In the event of a tiebreaker the players must compete to see who can invent the most ludicrous claim to credit in a single sentence. Our best so far is “Sony engineered the PSP’s disastrous performance on purpose because we started saying that we like it.” You can’t use that one, though, because we’re still not sure if it’s true or not.
