Super Monkey Ball Deluxe is finally out today on Xbox and PlayStation2! We gave it 8/10 in a proper review we wrote of it and said it’s “an essential collection of the finest Sega puzzle fun” (that’s what we sound like when writing seriously!).

The only other person in the world who might conceivably want to use photos of Yuji Naka in a German hedgehog sanctuary apart from us is Adam Doree. He’ll be really jealous when he sees these! Uploading these means we love Sega MORE than Adam does!

Perhaps Naka-san is researching about hedgehogs for a new Sonic The Hedgehog game. It might be for Xbox 360 or PlayStation3! It could even be unveiled in a few weeks at the Tokyo Game Show! Imagine that! He might be HAVING AN IDEA for a new Sonic character in his genius mind right there!

You’d think he’d be a bit bored of researching hedgehogs, what with having to do things about hedgehogs for 15 years now. With Google, you can find out everything there is to know about hedgehogs in about five minutes.

It’s a HEDGEHOG, Yuji. Don’t act like you’re suprised about what it is or what one looks like (unless you’re genuinely surprised that German ones are brown and not blue like they are in Japan).

The male hedgehog gently holds the female before sex.

Yuji Naka’s rubbish! He’s only just about as tall as a car! It’s amazing how quickly you go off someone when you realise they’re actually very short.

Perhaps he stroked and caressed small children when researching for NiGHTS?

We really will upload anything we get sent these days. Here’s two men standing in a sort of garden. We’re well aware of how this isn’t funny, so don’t post on the internet saying this isn’t funny.

1500 euros can provide food and clothing for 125 African children for a year — or keep 6 German hedgehogs living in luxury for a month. If you’ve got any hi-res photos of things happening at SEGA you’d like to email in to us, please email them in to us. We will almost certainly use them.

This is from mobile phone game Tomb Raider: Elixir of Life, or as we refer to it Tomb Raider: Gradual Decline Into Miserable Lonely Death. If this was an internet game, we’d click on the link then get bored before it even finished loading. This is also the sort of selling of cheap, farmed-out, generic tat to kids for lots of money that makes us WISH WE’D THOUGHT OF DOING IT OURSELVES.

The Australians are particularly well known for their appreciation of fine art.

360 is LIFESTYLE! You can tell it’s lifestyle because the logo’s in white. After it sells no copies because everyone thinks it’s a car magazine that some kid’s dropped on the games shelf, they’ll make it look like a games magazine by making the logo red with a yellow dropshadow. Probably by issue four.

TYPO ON PAGE 12! “Quality, innovation and excellent are paramount”. Having a typo in the bit where you say how quality you are is a world-class balls-up. Theyve realy set they’re stal otu their! In issue two they should say this was an ironic joke that set out to lampoon other lower quality magazines, the sort of shite rags that would have spelling mistakes in the bit where they say how excellent they are.

AN IRONIC PANEL ABOUT WHERE X05 *WON’T* BE HELD! This is humorous lifestyle journalism at its finest! Hull! Ha ha! Yes, imagine if Microsoft DID hold X05 in Hull. The thousand pictures these words paint are all hilarious. Imagine J Allard in Hull. He’d get kicked in for looking gay within seconds! We can’t stop laughing at that mental image. There must LITERALLY be a joke every 60 seconds in their zany office.

DVD AND CD REVIEWS. These’ll be ditched during issue 7’s sales crisis emergency redesign meeting after the first ABC sales figures come out next February. It will be replaced by “Tips”, as everyone realises the readers don’t care if Mike Richardson likes Goldfrapp or not.

This almost certainly means you have to download patches to make old games work, but we’re already massively out of our depth with all this technical stuff so can’t say for sure.

There’s a link at the bottom of this page that says “see all 178 images”: IGN: Quest For Antonia Pageant. See what you’ve got coming, UK Frag Dolls? You should probably all go out for a run tonight, instead of eating buns on the sofa.

We would make one ourselves, but there’s a big difference between getting caught with Blogger open on your work PC (verbal warning) and photos of men’s cocks (massive personal shame).